Get Out Of The House


If you are out of work, you might be one of those folks who by nature retreats to where you live as your sanctuary; the place you feel safe and secure in. Be wary my friend, your decision could come to backfire on you and one day you wake up to realize you’ve imprisoned yourself through voluntary exile.

That sanctuary of yours; the one place you could relax in and just be comfortable with yourself after a lacklustre day at work has changed. Now that you spend all your day inside, your relaxation there is replaced with too much time to think, the chairs that once brought you peace now seem unusually uncomfortable. Pacing the floorboards is little better for you move around the house yet feel nonetheless like you’re stuck.

My advice to you? Get out of the house; you’re in serious danger! Sounds dramatic I understand but it’s true and for a few reasons. First and foremost you want the one place you live and return to each day to be a place where you can unwind, feel comfortable and at rest. If you seldom leave your residence, you can hardly return to it and feel that aura of safety and familiarity surround you.

While it’s understandable you might wish to limit your exposure to friends where you’ll have to address the issue of your unemployment and provide job search updates, shutting out these people can have unintended consequences. When you fail to communicate with others, you’re going to start imagining what these conversations and interactions are going to go down like. How you picture them is going to be affected by the mood you are in; and the mood you are in is…well…not so great. So how you think things will go is often worse than the reality.

Now when we are stressed – and unemployment ranks right up there as a big stressor – our minds don’t often shut down or move from one topic to another unless you’re suffering from multiple worries. Then it’s great at shifting from one bad thing to another! But alone in our house without the distractions that come from what we see, smell, hear, touch and feel, we can become consumed with those thoughts. Then what follows is often prolonged sadness, low self-esteem, self-criticism and questioning followed by anxiety and full-blown depression.

When you walk out the door and interact with your world, you take in fresh air for a start and just by moving, you get some much-needed exercise. Your brain will start receiving new information; everything from the colour of the sky and the sound of moving traffic to that small rabbit that just darted across the path ahead you’re walking on.

As you move around and your brain starts receiving all this sensory data around you, you may find that it is these little things that for a moment here and there replace your constant thoughts regarding your job loss. Building on one or two of these, you may find your attitude improves slightly; your perspective improves as well. When your thoughts return to your present situation it may occur to you that just for a few minutes you had other thoughts and how nice that was.

Getting out to see a movie for example often has the same impact. You escape for an hour or two into another world, forget your problems and find you are enjoying doing something akin to your normal routine. And from those around you, you realize you are doing something normal that others are doing too. In short, you are fitting in; and fitting in is what you haven’t been feeling with the lack of employment.

Here’s another benefit of leaving your house: you may find that when you again turn your thoughts to looking for work, you might actually have some possible solution to a problem seemingly pop up out of nowhere. Either this or the problem has actually diminished in size (perspective). “Why didn’t I think of that before?” you might ask yourself. “Of course! I could try this or that.” Try as you might you’ll never be able to figure out what it was that prompted that solution to come to you, but had you remained inside brooding about things, it wouldn’t have come.

When you get out of the house you might also notice a rise in your energy level and a lighter mood to go with it. This is not a panacea for all your troubles make no mistake, but getting out is healthy both for body and for mind. If all a person’s problems in life were solved by getting out the door and going for a walk the world would be filled with people who walked and some would never stop. It’s not a cure-all and not meant to be an over-simplification of the real issues you’re dealing with or attempting to resolve.

By the way if you do get out, here’s an interesting thing to check on. Are you walking with your head up or not? Seriously. When you are walking in what you believe to be an upright position, lean your head back slightly, and spread your shoulders. If I’m correct, you may have changed what you perceive as your normal stance to a slightly hunched forward and downward gazing one. Stand up straighter, look ahead and breathe deeply filling your entire chest cavity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Addressing A Depleted Network


The wonderful thing about communicating with others through writing is the feedback one receives. Without that feedback, true communication isn’t really occurring; you’re just broadcasting. So with that in mind, I am of a mind today to share with you an issue raised by one of my networking connections who had a topic suggestion for me.

James Moodie – and feel free to look him up on LinkedIn and extend a connection request – got in touch with me and raised an issue around the subject of professional networking. Understanding and believing in the value of networking, he wondered about how to combat the reality that over time, many of a persons networking connections may for a variety of reasons may diminish. Some people move without forwarding contact information, some retire, company’s shut down and start-up under other names, etc. And of course, many people don’t bother to nurture networking connections when they are employed simply because they don’t utilize those connections and it’s only when unemployed they find them lacking.

First and foremost, don’t let your networking contacts drop in importance. Send the odd message to people, tell them how much you appreciate them, ask them a question periodically, check up on their professional development, offer them a hand in any way you might deem appropriate. Most people are turned off if you only approach your network when you need their help and look desperate. I can speak from experience where I’ve had people connect with me, ask for my advice and help getting through some issue, and then once the help is extended, they disappear never to be heard from until the next crisis. Well, it is what it is.

Okay so to re-establishing connections and expanding your network. Let’s have a look at LinkedIn for starters. Rather than just arbitrarily clicking on the first 500 names that pop up as connection suggestions, go about extending requests strategically.

Take James for example. Visit his profile and you’ll read in his summary the following: “As a problem solver for your business, I use my years of experience to find both conventional and unconventional solutions to business, processes, systems and data issues by applying critical thinking, common sense and most importantly, by listening to the input from team members.” The man himself works with integrity and has professional experience the Health Care, Financial, Education and Insurance sectors.

Using the above information, you can see what James might have to offer you and/or your organization; what value he’d add, and one of the key personal attributes he’d bring to the process; integrity. Networking works both ways; what you can do for others and what they can do for you. It’s about all the conversations that go on beyond the initial reason for the communication you get into.

Start with why you want to connect with people in the first place. This is exactly why people never get started ironically; they don’t know why connecting is important. So perhaps James in our example wants to expand his client base, attract new business, contract his services out to an employer etc. Fair enough. Now who to reach out to. Well, he resides specifically in Pickering Ontario, so if he’s going to reach on in person to businesses, connections within 150 km’s might be his geographical limit. Folks beyond that radius can still be extremely valuable; the world has shrunk considerably and if he works remotely, there are no limitations.

Once you’ve added the people you know personally, get involved in following the companies that you typically would like to work with. Track down the top brass or the people at the level that you’re interested in getting to know. Send them a request to connect and take a moment to add a little something to that plain connection request that comes up; make it personal.

Once people accept your request, send them another message thanking them for that, extend your services to them, let them know why you targeted them in the first place.

Recall James expertise in 4 employment sectors. Stands to reason that he’d want to assess if moving forward he wants to work with all of 4 or specialize in 1 or 2. Knowing what he can do for an organization, picking a few to look into each week, asking each person for ideas and suggestions of others to connect with that might have mutually beneficial outcomes is excellent advice.

Growing out your connections can also be accomplished when you embark on new experiences too. Take an evening photography course at a community college and you come into contact with people who may just have work needing to be done and will appreciate the good fortune of having you in their circle. Networking is more than just the here and now, it’s about future opportunities too. Frequent contact with your connections keeps you first and foremost in their mind when they need your expertise and assistance.

Carry your business cards with you everywhere you go and have them ready. Install an app like comcard and you’ll be able to snap a photo of others cards and it will organize that information on their cards in an easy to read electronic format.  Be friendly, gracious and attract people to you with your good work.

I’ve met James in person by the way. He initiated a face-to-face meeting with me after connecting online. He’s everything he says he is on his profile. Tell him Kelly sent you!

Breaking Down What Needs To Be Done


Yesterday I stood before 13 people on the final day of a career exploration workshop. It was the culmination of a process where those attending had been first assessing who they are as individuals and then looking at potential jobs and careers that might be appropriate matches based on what they learned of themselves.

One of the last exercises I had them work on was to list barriers each of them faced that stood between where they are today and where they want to be in the future. This by the way is an excellent exercise for anyone – possibly yourself – and as they discovered, having an experienced Employment Counsellor lead that discussion can be extremely helpful in clarifying exactly what barriers could be.

Now once you have identified the things which impede your progress towards the attainment of your employment goal, you might imagine coming up with the solutions would be relatively easy. For example, if you lack grade 12 the solution would appear to be go back to school and get it. If you don’t have a resume the solution would appear to be to make one.

The fallacy with the above solutions however is that each involves a number of steps before the person is given their diploma or walks away with a new resume. So while the end result is known, the process itself is still unclear; and not all those in attendance would have the knowledge or ability as to how to get into school, or where to go to get help making that resume. So the solutions are still too big for them and likely they will go without being acted on.

Let’s take the first example of identifying a lack of grade 12 as a barrier and wanting to obtain the diploma. “Where do I start?” is a logical and common question people ask. As an adult, you may have to first contact an adult education school in your community and check on their admission requirements. In the neighbourhood I work in, such schools have a mandatory information session of an hour in length, so getting the date and time to attend is a first step. You also need to bring proof of your identity and citizenship.

At the conclusion of the information session, each person meets individually with a school official who goes about the process of enrolling them in classes. After enrollment, it’s a matter of paying school registration fees, student fees and getting a schedule of when you start. The next step is actually attending school courses you’ve selected and if needed, enrolling for additional classes once you complete the first ones you signed up for until you have the required credits to graduate.

You’ll notice if you look at those steps that some are extremely short and can be completed in a matter of moments such as the phone call to find out when the next information session is being held. Attending that information session might take an hour out of your day, while attending school itself could take weeks, months or I suppose more than a year depending on several factors.

My point is that “getting my grade 12” isn’t a single step; its several steps of varying lengths when you break it down. The act of breaking down your goal into smaller, manageable pieces may make the goal seem like a lot of little things to do, but each step is clearer, and with that clarity comes the realization that yes, you can do this, you are then empowered to do so.

It’s the same with saying, “I’m out of work so my goal is to get a job”. Getting a job isn’t as easy as just deciding to get one. While the overall statement is commendable, the steps required to get one need clarifying. Just ask someone what they have to do in order to get a job and you’ll quickly discover their comprehension of what it will take to gain employment. While some have a very good idea of all the things they need to do, others might say, “Just apply.”

As most of us know, getting a job means much more. I believe that while most people have the best of intentions when they set out to eliminate their barriers, they break down most often in their ability to do so because of the planning required. Now, an Employment Counsellor or Coach can be most helpful in asking the right questions of you which will allow you to determine together what to do.

So getting your grade 12 could mean 5 or 6 smaller, individual steps. Getting a job might mean fixing up the resume, targeting it to a specific job, knowing yourself well enough to know what you want in the first place, practicing your interviewing skills by attending an interview workshop, sending the application, following up on the application, writing the cover letters, thank you letters, etc. Lots of steps and every one of them necessary and vital.

If you have the skills to break down your tasks into smaller, manageable pieces, you’ll also find building on completing each step will increase your confidence and build momentum. When you eventually cross off all the steps, you’ll find you’ve eliminated one of your barriers. Some folks can do these things simultaneously, working on reducing several barriers at once. If you can, great! However, even if you work on one thing and one thing only, that’s progress!

 

 

 

 

Happiness At Work. Lost It?


Today is Valentine’s Day; the year 2017. Around the globe, countless numbers of items will be bought and given as gifts; expressions of the love someone feels for another. There’ll be cards of course; chocolates, flowers, plants, maybe even diamonds and pearls if you’re fortunate and desire them.

While the focus for the day will be on the one who holds your heart; has it ever occurred to you to pause on this day and review the love you have for the work you do? I rather doubt it. If you imagine your job or career as a physical entity, would you be writing words of love and passion or would you be acutely aware that the thrill has gone? Instead of toasting your job with a raised glass you’re looking at a bologna sandwich in your cubicle for the 5th time this month.

How long has it been since you sprang out of the house with a bounce in your step at the thought of heading on into the workplace? A sadder question for some is whether you’ve ever had that joy of anticipating what joys your day will bring? If you’re happy, really love the work you do, you my friend are fortunate. You’ve found a measure of success in that how you spend a large amount of your time has meaning for you; you’ve got purpose and satisfaction in abundance.

However, if you’ve come to the point where the job has simply become a daily chore; the work is far from fulfilling and it’s a daily grind or test of your mental endurance, you may be wondering where it all went wrong? That job you once loved, that work you found so satisfying; something changed.

What changed is probably not so much the job but rather you; the person performing the work. Maybe you mastered the skills and job requirements and nothing new has been added to stimulate your need for a challenge. Maybe you’ve changed so much yourself that just adding new challenges won’t do at all and you need a complete change of scenery, a different kind of work altogether. You’re just hanging in there; hanging on and holding on. This you’re afraid to acknowledge, is not how you envisioned your life. Worse still, you always believed you’d have the courage to make some changes if it ever got to this point…but you haven’t.

It’s as if there is a set of scales before you and on the one side you see the job with all its responsibilities and duties. Here’s your security, salary, benefits, seniority, vacation entitlement. On the other side you only see a single thing: happiness. If only happiness were on the other side along with all those other items life would be perfect. Try as you might though, you can’t move happiness over without tipping the scales and throwing off the balance.

So you stand in a state of flux; wanting happiness of course, but paralyzed at the dilemma of risking everything on the one side to seize upon your happiness. The longer you do nothing, the worse you feel because you live in the conscious knowledge that you are unfulfilled and fulfillment is becoming increasingly important t you. Fulfillment you assert, will bring you happiness.

You are faced with this choice; you must either find happiness in the work you currently do, or you must find happiness elsewhere in some new activity. Going on day after day without making a change of some sort is not going to result in anything different and to expect you’ll rediscover or ignite some happiness on a long-term basis without action isn’t realistic.

Of course if you have the ability to stay in an organization but assume new challenges, you owe it to yourself to do whatever is necessary to bring about that change. Talk with the boss, maybe HR, meet with Supervisors in other departments and put out some feelers.

Ah but if there are no options such as those above, you may have to cut loose your ties, free yourself from the trap of the status quo and take that leap of faith by pursuing happiness somewhere else. Your friends, family and current co-workers might not understand it, they will definitely question it, but they might secretly envy you for it too. They might see it as your mid-life crisis but for you its saving yourself; this one chance to finally take a risk and live!

It could mean a return to school to re-educate or update your skills and knowledge. You’ll burn with a love for learning though. It might mean a whole new career doing something others see as a step down but isn’t that their issue not yours? If you know or feel confident you know what will make you truly happy, staying where you will only eventually have you disappointed in yourself. You may grow despondent, become bitter and resent  the choice you failed to make. Following conventional wisdom may be safe but safety has its limitations.

So on this Valentines Day, look around the workplace and give a thought to the work you do. Love it? Feel fulfilled and happy for the most part? Excellent! If you don’t feel passion for the work however, if the lustre is gone and the fire that once fueled you on a daily basis, it might be time to make some changes.

 

 

Not A ‘People’ Person?


The gift of gab,  a born charmer, a real people person; some people are described this way. Whether they are surrounded by friends, co-workers or being introduced to others for the first time, they just have a natural ease with engaging themselves in conversations. They make it look so easy and for them, well…it is.

However for many, it’s a struggle to mix and mingle with others. When preparing to go anywhere where a gathering of people is expected their anxiety rises. For some reason, very competent individuals who have particular talents and expertise may have poorly developed interpersonal skills. The lack of these skills, or their under-development could adversely affect an individual’s ability to meet the right people or impress them enough when they do meet them to be considered for promotions or special projects as they arise.

If you are the kind of person as described above, you may desperately wish you had better people skills but have a greater fear of what it will take to improve in this area. Like it is with anything you wish to improve or learn, it does take some effort; and you may have some setbacks along the way where things don’t go smoothly. Don’t give up trying though; the payoff is increased self-confidence and a comfort level you don’t currently have in both social and professional situations.

Let’s look at a few things you could do. For starters, when you’re about to meet people for the first time, remind yourself that they don’t know you until you are introduced. Therefore, they don’t know the lack of comfort you are experiencing either. For all they know, you may be quite comfortable and at ease with holding your own in a conversation. Use this to your advantage.

Planning on keeping conversations short with any one person is another way to go about gaining some assertiveness by building on small successes. If you envision meeting someone and having a 10 minute one-to-one chat, the anxiety you could work up fretting about how to fill a 10 minute conversation may stop you before you even say hello. So reframe that conversation into a polite but short introduction.

One thing it is very important not to overlook is that a conversation is a two-way exchange. You are only 50% responsible for the dialogue and don’t have to talk the entire time. Some people make this mistake; do all the talking and exhaust both themselves and the person listening as they move from topic to topic until they are out of things to talk about. While it may appear to you as an onlooker that this kind of person has great people skills, in fact they don’t. They are talking for the sake of hearing themselves and not really engaging in true conversation.

This brings us to listening skills. Whomever it is you are going to chat with provides you with both words to listen to and thoughts to respond to. Listening attentively to whatever someone else is saying gives you things to consider and then respond to. You can’t anticipate and plan what to say until the other person gives you the information to respond to. Overly anxious and nervous people are often so busy thinking of what to say next they fail to pay attention to what the other person is talking about.

Take a deep breath or two and slow down the pace of the words coming out of your mouth. When we get anxious or nervous, or even excitable, there can be a tendency to speak quicker, making our voice tremble and the words harder to understand. Slow things down, speak clearly and you may find you engage more with the conversation as it ebbs and flows back and forth.

Asking open-ended questions of those you meet rather than yes/no questions is also helpful in shifting what to say to the other people you are chatting with. Just one or two of these questions is enough to get things started and then as mentioned above, you can demonstrate your listening skills by responding to what you hear.

Can you really ever become comfortable; really comfortable engaging in conversation with others if you’re not a people person? Like any skill, interpersonal skills can be improved upon. If you are expecting however to change your entire personality; going from say an introvert to an extrovert, not only is this probably not going to happen, you shouldn’t feel compelled to have to. Many people who are naturally shy or introverted can and do have sufficient people skills to engage with those around them.

It is not necessary that you transform into a naturally gifted public speaker or the life of the party. Turn down the pressure you perceive to be that kind of person. You are best to be true to yourself; be authentic and just work to develop in this area as someone else might work on areas they too wish to improve in.

Consider starting with people you meet in brief moments throughout your day. Be it the Bus Driver, a Server, a Cashier at the grocery store; a short conversation and a smile in these situations can give you the confidence you need to engage with others. Remind yourself too of what’s the worse that could happen with that store Cashier? You leave.

Interpersonal skills; people skills; worth paying attention to and developing.

 

 

 

 

Appropriate Dress Designed To Impress


Whether its your LinkedIn photo, every day work wear, a presentation to the shareholders, pitching your business to a potential investor or indeed an upcoming job interview, you’re wise to put some thought into what your clothing says about you. And make no mistake, if you neglect to put any thought into what you put on as you head out the door, you send a message just the same.

Caleb Wells, a Visual Consultant  with T.M.Lewin; an English heritage brand was kind enough to contact me  recently on this very subject. In part, he penned the following…

“As experts in business wear and dressing smart, we have taken it upon ourselves to help professionals understand the standards of dress for different interview and office settings. As you know, dressing for success is imperative. We have recently developed an exclusive infographic on Cracking the Interview Dress Code, helping growing professionals navigate what to wear and when.”

Here is the link which will open the infographic he refers to which I am happy to share with you my readers. Not only is this information pertinent to my readership, it is also a fine example of networking and I encourage this strongly. Have a look.

http://workbloom.com/interview/dress-for-success.aspx

Now before sharing this here, I took the opportunity to share this with some of the people with whom I work with. I was interested to see if it resonated with them. It was a good fit and good timing actually, as dressing to impress is always a part of the employment workshops I facilitate.

I am happy to report that the infographic has been well received. Some of us are visual learners, and while discussing what’s appropriate and what’s not works for some people, being able see visuals helps many grasp things quickly and accurately.

Now of course there are many who work in occupations where the dress code of the company or the nature of the job doesn’t lend itself to the suggestions in the infographic. The Cook, Valet Attendant, Lab Technician, Child and Youth Worker etc. might all state that their work demands another kind of attire altogether, and I’d agree; so too I suspect would Caleb. However, I think we can all agree – or at least I would hope many of us would agree that the knowledge of what constitutes Business Causal vs. Casual or Formal Business attire is important.

A Cook may not always be a Cook after all, and may one day want to step up his or her game and approach a new employer and want to impress at the first meeting and make a solid impression. That Lab Technician might have to wear the white lab coat on the job, but at the same time they could have functions to attend like conferences where they make a presentation; or similarly applying for employment. A white lab coat is not appropriate attire when you’re granted an interview and want to look your best.

Taking a look at attire, there’s always the question of casual Friday these days as well. If your organization supports casual Friday dress, it’s a good idea to inquire about the standards expected on this particular day. Show up in flip-flops, shorts and a Bermuda shirt and you might be okay or you might be invited to attend a meeting right away with your supervisor. “It’s about your clothes. What were you thinking?” is not a good way to start a conversation if you are on the receiving end.

Is money an issue? Dressing smart doesn’t have to break the bank and you don’t necessarily have to buy your entire wardrobe in one trip which I agree could be crippling. The importance of having some key pieces that you can mix and match to present a different look is excellent advice. Have some grey, black and navy solids on the bottom half of your body and some white or black options on your top half and you’ve made a start.

Depending on your organization and the image they want to convey, you may be able to add splashes of colour which might complement your hair colour or bring out the colour of your eyes. Every so often something I put on draws several positive comments from those I meet, and that information is worthwhile to me. If you experience this as well, you should note that combination; it will give you confidence and improve your delivery and interaction with others as a result.

The other thing I like about passing on this infographic is that while the information is timeless and sensible, it’s also 2017 information; current and up-to-date with the times. It’s a reliable source.

One suggestion I make to you is this. Pick a day when you’re not rushed and make an appointment with a  representative of a reputable clothing store. Explain that you’d like to get some clothing suggestions. Many stores with trained professionals are happy to show you how to coordinate your clothing. They can take a shirt, tie, pants and put together a look that sends the message you want. They also have the expertise to work with you over time and transform your look, often alerting you to sales on the things you’re interested in. Having a relationship with your clothier can and does reap its rewards.

Dressing for success never goes out of style and should never be overlooked as not worthy of attention.

Juggling Too Much? Overwhelmed?


How are you handling all the things that are going on in your life? Imagine yourself as a Juggler and each of the things you’re dealing with at the moment are represented by one of the items you’ve got in the air. Oh and each item you’re juggling is the same size as the source of the stress it represents.

For some that image is inconceivable. There is no way anyone could possibly have that many items in the air without some or all of them falling beyond what you could juggle. There’s a word for that and it’s, ‘overwhelmed’.

Now you know what you’re carrying around with you more than anyone. If you’ve ever actually watched a Juggler, it’s important to think now about how he or she gets to the point in their act where all those items are in the air at once. And come to think of it, it’s equally or more important to keep watching until the end where you can see how they finish the act.

Most of the time, The Juggler always has to start with one item, perhaps a ball, being tossed in the air. One item only; now doesn’t that make you envious! As the ball is in the air and second and then a third are added to the mix. At this point, a really good Juggler can still smile at the crowd of people assembled, even take their eyes off the objects ever so briefly and maybe do a little talking too. In other words, they can multi-task and the balls are still being successfully juggled; things are well under control.

For many people, this is what real life is like. There’s a few things that have us concerned at any one time and we’re successfully juggling them. To others, we are smiling and talking and we look in control of things.  In fact, as we juggle these few things, we might grow in confidence and think we can handle some additional items.

The best Jugglers didn’t become the Jugglers they are without dropping a few things though did they? Actually truth be told the very best Jugglers have dropped more balls over time than others with less skills to handle heavy loads. Those who are really good practice and practice; they are at it daily and for hours and in that time they drop countless items in an effort to both get better and to stay well-practiced with those more complicated loads.

The real problem with using a Juggler as an analogy for whatever you’ve personally got in the air yourself is that the Juggler’s act only lasts for a limited time and then she or he gets to stop juggling. They face the crowd assembled with their hands spread out from their sides, smile and bow as the crowds applaud their skill at handling all the things they’ve just witnessed.

You and I though; does it ever feel like you can’t put some things down; like you’re juggling 24 hours a day. You go to sleep to escape your worries and find that you can’t turn off your brain; then when you do wake from your restless on and off sleep, you’re assaulted with all those thoughts of what you’ve got in the air? And where’s the crowd of people who would be so impressed with the phenomenal number of items you’ve got going anyway? There should at least be a crowd!

Complicating things and increasing the degree of difficulty is that what you’ve got in the air aren’t all nice little balls of the same size. Ever watched a Juggler who starts with small balls then near the climax has a knife or two, a flaming torch and a bowling ball up there too? I’ve witnessed that. Impressive for sure; and better them than me!

Okay so here’s what’s really impressive; you! You may not think so but you’ve got so many things going on in your life and unlike that Juggler, you didn’t consciously decide to go out of your way to learn to juggle for a living. You certainly didn’t train for it, wish these things upon yourself and you’d love to drop a few things never to pick them up again.

Every so often when you watch some Juggler though, a second Juggler comes on stage. This second person or Assistant Juggler starts accepting some of the items the original Juggler starts tossing their way. The new Juggler takes what’s thrown his or her way, shifts it to their other hand and then passes it back to the first, and so the overall number of things in the air remain the same but the load is lightened.

Hmmm… could be something in this illustration that you could benefit from. What if you had someone who could listen to some of your issues, accept them and perhaps shift them around, reframe them for you and then give them back to you with ideas that might make those things a little easier to handle? Could be they not only get easier to handle when you receive them back but eventually you might be able to stop juggling a few of those things entirely. That would make the other things you’ve got in the air manageable.

Sharing is a good and healthy my friends. Consider adding an expert; a professional Counsellor or even a best friend or two to lighten your load.