By the time someone says, “Stop your whining and just get a job!”, things have probably escalated pretty much to the point where your relationship with that person is in trouble. Now this person could be your partner, significant other or perhaps someone like an Employment Counsellor. So it follows that if the relationship is in trouble, you might be left by that person if they feel you are dead weight and just not trying but sure complaining a lot.
So why point out the obvious? Well first of all you might still think that things really aren’t so bad, and that you’ll still have that person to hang on to. Now let’s be honest and admit that if you lose the relationship with your Employment Counsellor, you can move to another one if you want relatively easily. Your partner or significant other however is a different matter because that relationship has taken a lot of time to cultivate and grow. The loss, or even the threat of the loss of that person in your life could be a huge negative impact in your life.
Now you should ask yourself pointedly if you are doing all you can to land that next job. If you are following advice given, getting out and about, applying for work, getting your resume updated and improved, practicing your interview skills, networking with people, following up on leads and following up on your applications, keep at it and roll with your momentum. However, if that list is full of things you aren’t doing, you should think about whether or not you are in fact guilty of maybe not doing as much as you can to land your next job. And is it that lack of effort that is frustrating those around you who want to see you employed?
So here’s a good test to see where you are at; when your spouse has closed the door and headed off to work, when your Employment Counsellor has concluded the meeting, what do you do when no one is watching? Be honest. Are you giving it your all? Some times of course you just have to have some diversion so you create energy to focus back on the job search. In fact, I’ve blogged about that need for diversion recently. But your focus really needs to be on the job search in order for those diversions to be…well…diversions and not your primary activity.
That job market out there is tough. Employers may not appear to be hiring, far too many people may appear to be competing with you for the same jobs, interviewers may not call you back and that’s frustrating. However, do you choose to let that discourage you or do you feed off that challenge and fight back with determination? My advice would be to really do your best to communicate your frustration in a healthy way rather than a consuming way. A healthy way is to be honest and share how your lack of progress is frustrating but talk more about your resolve, the steps you are taking, the positive things that you are experiencing, the new people you are speaking with, and how this experience is perhaps strengthening you in ways you might have not thought about.
One person I just heard from yesterday really impressed me with a word that she used to describe herself during a frustrating job search with the term, ‘tenacious’. I love that word because it really does her justice. She described her efforts recently which included phone calls, site visitations, web searches, in-person contact, networking etc. and her tenaciousness is clearly evident in her effort to land an interview and subsequent job in the health care field. While she would be a tremendous asset to an organization, she is doing much to ensure that happens sooner rather than later. Sure she’s frustrated but continues to put forward a positive attitude and acts on suggestions.
As you move forward in your job search, I truly hope you really bring positive energy and demonstrate your personal tenaciousness.