What Do You Want?


I’m sorry if like me just this second, the refrain, “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want”, is playing in your head. Sorrier still if it wasn’t but it is now. Ah such is life. Thank you Spice Girls I suppose.

But seriously, what do you want? What is it in life right now – today, that you really want? What if there were no limits on what you could ask for and no one would ridicule you for your choice or tell you to get serious. Here’s a sequence of questions to ask yourself:

What do I want?
How bad do I want it?
Am I prepared to make it a priority?
What do I have to do to make it happen?
What barriers to what I want are in front of me?
What steps do I need to take to eliminate those barriers?

So what is it you want? A car? Boat? Home? A life-long partner? Kids? A career? A trip somewhere? Usually what we want is dependent upon what we currently have in life. So if for example you have a good job, you usually don’t want a job because you already have one. If you want a better job, it’s because you currently don’t have one that brings you fulfillment and happiness or the income you want.

The same is true of the material possessions we have. If you want a car, it’s a safe bet it’s because you don’t have one at present and know that it would give you independence, or your current vehicle needs replacing. We want what we don’t have much of the time.

Now of course it is possible to want more of what we already have. We could really enjoy our vacations as well as value our home and job but want more of the times we get back to nature. We could want more time with our children. However, wanting more of something still breaks down to, we don’t currently have it, and so again, we usually want something that we don’t currently have.

Now thinking about what it is you want, is part of the reason you don’t currently have it a lack of money? Money is needed for the purchase of the car, the home, the extended vacation, certainly makes raising a large family easier etc. Is money therefore not necessarily a bad thing to want in and of itself? You might feel that wanted money is bad in some way, but maybe it’s no so much wanting money, but wanting what money can buy and be exchanged for.

So if we see money as a goal, the question becomes how to get more of it and then exchange it for the thing we really want. If we want that one thing bad enough, we will save for it, avoid spending money on other things that make acquiring our one goal further out of reach, and we become focused. One thing we can do to help in this focus is to identify the potential barriers to our goal.

Barriers are the things which we anticipate will delay us or stop us from achieving our goal. If we want to work but don’t have a good resume and don’t know how to go about applying for a job on-line, we can either get a resume and learn how to apply on-line, (thus removing the barrier), or we can throw up our hands, give up and stop. The interesting thing about barriers that we have to realize and accept that barriers are not universal except in extremely limited circumstances. You may not know how to apply on-line, but many other people who once didn’t know learned how. You can too.

So you’ve got this goal. Identify what is preventing you from reaching your goal. Now sit down either alone or with someone who you respect and trust and open up to them. Together, brainstorm all the possible options for overcoming your barriers one at a time. Each time you move forward, your self-esteem is going to get a boost, and as you mark your progress, you’ll be building momentum. Momentum gives you the drive to tackle the more significant barriers.

And now the question of it being a priority. Ever heard someone say, “I need a job.”? I bet you may then see that same person immediately engage in something that doesn’t fit with that statement, such as siting down and playing a video game, writing a daily journal about their feelings, or watching television. What they want and what they are doing are not in sync, and there is a disconnect.

The things we want in life rarely come easily or immediately. You might say, “I want some ice cream” and go to the fridge and get one just to prove me wrong, but I’d reply you just proved my point. You wanted something, made a decision to get it, then put your idea into action and now have it. This process is identical to the more meaningful things in life we want.

One of the saddest things is not so much not attaining our goals, but lacking meaningful goals in the first place that we want bad enough that prompt us to sustained action.

What do YOU want? Make it happen!

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2 thoughts on “What Do You Want?

  1. Excellent post. It reminds me of an old proverb that says: “When there is no vision, people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18) As true as the blog entry states, without the necessary baby steps — the small, fundamental ones that will aid progression — people will be in PAUSE mode, forever stuck in a state of not knowing how to move forward. All around, I see confused people. Lost people. Those without clear goals. I see people with no passion. Like sheep wandering on a hillside with no real destination. This is when you ask them, “what is your dream? What are your long term career goals? What makes you tick?” Just last night, a friend asked me to go to coffee. This same friend of five years seems a little depressed, cheerless and not living his true, authentic life. He tells me he is going back to school, and quitting the field of work he has done for the past five years. That is when I asked seriously, “If you could do anything and BE anything right now…if you were handed a large sum of money and could choose any path…what would you do?” He looks at me with a bland expression and says “I just want a good paying job.” To this, quite annoyed, I replied: “that is your problem. You are not SPECIFIC. The universe does not bring you what you desire until you get REALLY CLEAR on what it is you want.” He shrugged again, not really processing my advice. I could tell he still does not know what he wants. See, the problem with people is that they are operating under pre-conceived notions on what they believe they should be. ie: follow in Dad’s foot steps, become a well-paid, corporate lawyer or take business at college and sit behind a desk because, after all, it is the standard thing that “everyone does.” Being programmed like a robot might work for a while, it might pay the bills, buy you a car and substantial house, but what about passion? What about the real, juicy, vibrant feelings of joy and living? Does no one take into account that they are walking through life as a corpse with a heartbeat? Yes, I know…the visionary is labeled ‘crazy’ because he or she decides to jump out of the box and think for themselves, therefore blazing a trail of glory on their own. But I believe the world needs more visionaries. We need more Einstein’s, Tesla’s and Ford’s. We need more of these oddball, unique, totally left field thinkers. Just try to conceive how more colorful, vibrant and passionate this life would be, if everyone just stopped for a minute and jumped out of their box.Anyways, what a good post. Excellent. Thank you for posting a theme synchronized with my own experience last night(That is what makes this blog current, popular and relevant).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There are other ways to be happy in life and really alive other than through a career. A lot of people are very happy working 9 to 5 behind a desk and leaving the job at work and really living during their hours outside work. There is something to be said for at least having a job. As unemployment gets worse and worse I see an unfortunate trend towards deriding average ordinary people and those with modest goals as losers. Employment articles are saying you won’t even get a job pushing a broom unless you are a superstar with big ambitions. That said, I do agree with the article. You do need to have goals.

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