In my line of work I come into contact on a daily basis with people who have poor or fragile self-esteem. In fact, if you were listening in on the conversations we have you’d hear many of them state unequivocally that they have zero self-esteem, no personal pride and feel they have nothing to offer any decent employer out there. As a consequence, many feel that all the bad things that happen to them in their lives come because they deserve them.
It is truly heart-breaking to see people who are broken and resigned to lives where they’ve given up; given up just trying to lead what they see as a normal life. They want a steady job, to feel appreciated and valued, to earn their way in this world and most of all to shed feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression, low-self image and fatigue.
Unfortunately they’ve been negatively influenced by key people in their lives on a long-term regular basis. Isn’t it a sad commentary that there are so many others who actually seek out those with poor self-image and low self-esteem in order to ultimately control these people by dominating them for their own gain?
Sometimes it starts with members of ones own family with verbal abuse. Comments like, “Why can’t you be successful like your big sister?” or “You’ll never amount to much you know” are hurtful and can become ingrained in the person’s mind when on the receiving end. Not doing well in school or in those awkward teenage years (which many of us experienced) is magnified and only acts as further proof when the verbally bashing is going on at home.
Take this into early adulthood and predatory people who look to target others and victimize them appear on the one hand to take care of them, but on the other hand treat them poorly. Oddly enough, some victims think how they are being treated is normal; that in some perverted way they deserve what they get. Sad.
Ideas of financial independence, self-reliance, self-governance and respect are alien and ideas of long-term planning, setting and reaching personal goals and being successful aren’t even on their radar.
Here’s the good news. Everyone is a person of value; yes you too. You might not believe it at the moment and think everyone ELSE is a person of value, but I believe that there’s value in you.
While you might have a lot of difficulty identifying useful skills and the kind of work that you’d be good at and more to the point enjoy, you’d be wrong if you think nobody out there would hire a person like you. This is essential to realize because you might have someone in your life who continues to put you down, tells you you’re worthless and you’re best just to continue to do what they tell you.
These kind of people aren’t healthy to be around because of the way in which they exploit others. These folks would rather seek out and dominate others rather than struggle to advance themselves in society. But back to you rather than wasting more time speaking of them.
Let’s suppose you’re living on a fixed income; social support. Have you ever considered that you’re an expert on stretching your resources in order to put food on the table? A lot of the folks who work in government and decide how much a person on assistance gets couldn’t themselves navigate the systems they create but you do every day. In other words, if many employed people lost their jobs today, they wouldn’t thrive as well as you do and they’d be looking to you for guidance.
I bet you’re resilient; you thrive by adapting to the situations in which you find yourself. You’ve got stamina and I suspect you also have a good eye for bargains; you know where to shop for the best deals, you’ve got a network of contacts in the community you can rely on and maybe you even know the places to go for food, clothing and other kinds of help.
Are you someone who others dump their troubles on? Could be others see you as a good listener and someone they can trust with their secrets. You’re adaptable for sure.
A good idea is to write down what you’re good at and how others see you; the good people not those controlling negative types. If you have problems, that makes you normal; human. We all have issues of one kind or another and some of us have multiple issues; some people who look together would surprise you.
Before you can hunt down the kind of work that’s right for you, it’s a good first step to get to know yourself and what makes you tick. Contact community services in your community and ask about Life Management classes, personal improvement workshops and self-help or development programs. Each community will be able to support you with help depending on what they offer.
I’m proud of you for having put up with all the negativity you’ve had to over your life time. Now is your time however; let’s do something about it and break free so you can have the life you deserve!
Not you I’m talking about? Do someone a favour and consider sharing this online or posting this in your workplace where someone might see it and start a conversation.