Everyone Is Not Scamming

I recall when I started working in the field of Social Services being welcomed onboard and placed on a team of Caseworkers administering what was then referred to as General Welfare Assistance. In laymen’s terms, we issued funds to welfare recipients.

Now this would be back in the late 1980’s, but the words of a teammate still stick with me to this day. While I didn’t have a single person assigned to me as a Mentor or Trainer, this person took me aside on my second day and said, “Look, the first thing you have to know and remember is that everyone is scamming.” I have obviously been struck by that remark to the extent that I recall it now in 2019.

One thing I’m proud of myself looking back is that I didn’t believe it then anymore than I believe it today. However, the thing is, I could have believed it – after all this was someone working in the job I was just learning, so the assumption is that they know what they are talking about. Had I believed that person, I may have started my career in that organization with a very different mindset; one that set me up to mistrust all the people that I’d encounter; one that would have me looking for lies, disbelieving all the expressed needs that I’d hear. Had I taken that piece of advice, I might have become an embittered worker, perhaps denying all kinds of benefits to people in dire need.

My instincts back then were to actually come at things exactly the other way around. It made much more sense to me to start with the attitude that all the people I was meeting were to be believed and using the funds provided to them for the purposes issued. In the event that I became aware someone was ‘scamming’ as she referred to it, then of course our relationship would change. Many years later and in another social services organization, I did encounter a man with an undeclared bank account with $30,000.00 in it. I discovered it and he was prosecuted, found guilty and fined. There’s a process in place you see to deal with those who knowingly defraud.

Thankfully, that trial which I attended and was called to be a witness in still didn’t negatively affect my core belief in the people I had the privilege to assist as their Caseworker. And let’s make no mistake; it is a privilege. Those who are the most vulnerable in our society need good people with empathy, compassion, care and well-developed skills, experience; knowledgeable of the resources to which people can be connected. Should I find myself on the other side of the table, I sure hope to find a compassionate, understanding individual sitting across from me who believes my story and extends to me the resources I may not have the awareness of to ask for.

Now if you’ve never had any reason to avail yourself of social services, (welfare), or if your experience is limited to one or more people you know who brag about fooling the system and scamming, you might be inclined to think as this person did. Let me tell you the reality though; most people in receipt of social assistance are legitimately poor and deal with multiple barriers to financial independence. Many have underdeveloped decision-making skills primarily because they’ve had poor role models. Some have grown up in families on social assistance themselves, what we refer to a generational poverty.

Breaking away from poverty is incredibly difficult when you start off in a family that doesn’t highly value education; that may see any attempt to better yourself as a slap in the face to the rest of them. The high cost of food, housing, transportation, childcare – pretty much the core basic needs we all strive for, keep people from focusing on what many of us who have these basic needs fulfilled do, our potential. Because we go home at night to places that are safe, private, comfortable; because we put good food on the table, because we sleep in clean beds, shower at will and put on clean clothes each day, we can focus on other needs. Remove these things and suddenly our own priorities would change – and in a heartbeat.

No, I won’t ever believe or advise some new employee to look at everyone who comes to them for help as a scammer. Do some people do whatever they can, or say what they believe needs to be said in order to get some additional funds to buy better food or pay the rent they couldn’t afford otherwise? I’m know that happens.

It’s vitally important that as a society, we keep those out of power those who enact legislation and bring about changes to punitively punish the poor. On the front line, we have to trust those above us and those above them, hoping they always work and act with the best interests of our end-users in mind. That’s not always easy to see.

You know what one of the most important things you can do whenever you meet with someone who shares their story? Tell them you believe them. Build some trust. Get at the deep stuff. Then use your powers of knowledge and resources to help them help themselves. Don’t become embittered, burnt out and cold.

We’re just people helping people in the end.

3 Problems To Resolve

In my role as an Employment Counsellor, I’ve looked over job postings for literally thousands of various careers and jobs over the years; thousands that is, with no exaggeration.

One thing that I’ve noticed when looking at the qualifications required to be successful in the majority of these postings is the need to bring problem solving skills. While some postings leave it at that, others give clues as to how they want them handled. With key words such as, ‘tactfully’, ‘quickly resolve’ and, ‘troubleshoot’ included in the job description, they provide us with key words to use when constructing the application resume and during interviews.

And so it is that I introduce those in my job search classes to three problems, which I share with you here today. My goal in doing so, is to observe how the participants address each one as they work in small groups. I pay close attention to not just the resolution, but listen carefully as they discuss and share with each other their own thoughts. It’s these thoughts and possible courses of action that help me best understand what a person is thinking and how that thinking stands up with the others, is dismissed or accepted, built on or ignored.

So, while I can’t do the same with you my reader, I present them nonetheless. You might find the problems here mundane, easily resolved or tricky. Let me tell you that each one here is a real life situation for someone I partnered with. For each, what would you do?

Problem 1

You wake up and realize you slept through the alarm. You’re 45 minutes later than usual, the car doesn’t have enough gas to get you to work and you’ve got $3.75 in change. The top you’ve put on has a mustard stain, the dog needs to be fed and just threw up on the kitchen floor. Oh and yes, that is a cold sore next to your lip. Welcome to day 3 on your new job.

Problem 2

It’s like the person next to you in your new job hates you and wants you to fail. They ignore you at best, give you incorrect information and tell you flat out that you aren’t wanted there. For this problem, consider not only what you would do, but what might be going on with that coworker which is causing the hostility.

Problem 3

After accepting a position and working for 4 days, you get a new job offer from one of the positions you previously interviewed for. This new offer is slightly more money, has no benefits, is 20 minutes further to commute to one way, and could provide more advancement. Your first 4 days have gone really well by the way.  For this problem, what are the factors you weigh and if you decide to stay, what do you tell the employer with the new offer? If you decide to take the new offer, what do you say to the employer you’re working for now?

Okay, so how did you do?

Problem 1

If you rely on a device to wake you on time, always set a second one. In this situation, that will help going forward but not at the moment. You’re late. First thing is to know the policy and practice of your employer. In some, you have to speak in person with your boss or another supervisor. In others, an absent line will do. Immediately report in when you arrive, explain yourself, apologize and offer to make up the time. Change the top or add a light sweater/jacket. Get the dog out while doing the above and while some have cleaned up after the dog, others have said they’d let it sit there until they came home. No comment! As for getting to work, when you have no gas, bus fare one way might work if transit is available. Can you call on family, a friend, a neighbour? Can you take a cab, share a ride, carpool?

Problem 2

If things start off this badly, it’s more about them than anything you’ve said or done. “Can we talk?” might be a good approach and then gently tell the person how you feel and ask what’s going on as you want this to work. If you get a resolution, good. If not, and only now, escalate your concerns. In this case, what was really happening was the long-term employee had hoped a personal friend of hers would get the job and they didn’t. Talking it out was healthy, the person apologized for their behaviour and they actually became great co-workers.

Problem 3

There’s incomplete information in this problem. Are you getting benefits now? What are the two jobs and are either of them a dream job? How much money are we talking about? Still, you’ve got a decision. The key is to preserve the relationship with the employer you turn down. Don’t for example, just stop going into work and refuse to answer their phone calls. If you do leave, make it clear you stopped actively applying once accepting their offer, thank them for their confidence in hiring you and hope they understand. After only 4 days, you’re not indispensable. Going from the stress of no job to the stress of multiple offers happens when you apply with a strong resume/cover letter and improved interview skills.

While not major perhaps, resolving any problem prepares you for the big ones by honing your problem solving skills.

Not Sure You Have A Criminal Record?

Maybe you do and maybe you don’t. It’s the, ‘not knowing one way or the other’, that’s undermining your confidence when your sitting in some job interview and you’re asked about whether your bondable or not. It’s at this moment; this precise moment that you can feel the job opportunity slipping away.

Yep, it was your momentary pause, that look you instinctively had come over your face that indicated you hid something. That indecisive moment when you weighed telling the truth and risking the job versus lying outright and hoping it would die right there and never be an issue moving forward. You remember that moment clearly. Why? Because that moment gets repeated each and every time you’re in an interview. It’s like a cloud hanging over your head, always present and always threatening to pour down on you at any moment and when it does, all your hopes and aspirations are washed away.

Too many times you’ve heard them say, “Gee, that’s unfortunate. I’d love to hire you but I’m prevented from doing so because of our policies. When you clear things up, get back to me.” Real nice of them to let you down easy; nice to know you performed well enough in the process to get to the final stage too, but in the end, the same result.

Hang on a moment. You say you aren’t actually sure whether you have a criminal record or not? So my question is why aren’t you taking steps – no wait, let me amend that question…why haven’t you taken steps to find out? Maybe it’s because you haven’t got the $25 – $40 to pay for your criminal record check and find out? Somehow I doubt that amount of money is at the core of why you haven’t had this done yet.

No, I suspect the real reason behind your lack of action is that not knowing for sure looks somewhat better to you than finding out that yes you do in fact have a criminal record. Even just walking into the police station to get the process completed may be so intimidating, you can’t get yourself in there to get it done.

So what was it? Something you did as a juvenile 15 years ago? Some mischief charge? A minor offence perhaps and one your not even convinced you were found guilty of because it was so long ago? Was it a warning or wasn’t it? Here’s the thing my friend. If you’re experiencing lost opportunities, stress, anxiety, shame, frustration – any of these, you’re still paying the price for whatever you did so long ago. $25 or $45 seems pretty insignificant in comparison to the price you’ve paid – and continue to pay.

Let’s look at the best case scenario first. You get up the determination to find out one way or the other and you walk into the police station and tell them you want a criminal record check. Getting same day service, you leave with a piece of paper stating nothing came up. Not only is that piece of paper clean, so is your conscious. No record. Suddenly the past anxiety on how to answer any questions about your past is gone. One job search barrier removed.

Okay now to the news that yes, something came up. First of all, what came up? Sure any conviction in the past isn’t good news but come on, there are some offences which are much more serious than others. If you wrapped toilet paper around someone’s house and in a drunken state peed all over their prize petunias in your teens, you might have that mischief charge to deal with now as a 35 year old. Seems to me that’s a lot different and less of an issue than assault with a dangerous weapon and uttering a death threat or stealing someone’s car and getting a driving under the influence to go along with it.

Hey at least you know now. So when that question comes up, you can opt to tell the truth and hope that the past 17 years as an adult with no further interaction with the justice system works in your favour. And while it’s more costly, get going on making some regular payments into obtaining your pardon. Might not be cheap, but it sure is a lot less than the salary you’re NOT getting every couple of weeks because your still unemployed due to that charge.

While the amount to get a pardon might seem high – say $1000.00 just to use a number, look at it this way. In 3 years, you’ll either be 3 years older with a criminal record or 3 years older without one. Which do you choose? Right. Move to the front of the class. And it might not take 3 years anyhow.

Steps to take:

1.  Get a criminal record check done. Do it today or tomorrow. Find out.
2.  No record? Great.
3.  Record? Get the facts on your pardon process.
4.  Start making financial contributions to your pardon. Make this a priority.
5.  Got a record? Get professional help with an interview answer.

By the way, your answer to the, ‘are you bondable?’ question is yes. You’re insurable, (what bondable means), so don’t volunteer your conviction – that wasn’t the question asked. Interviewers hope you don’t know the difference between conviction and bondable and therefore voluntarily offer up your record.

While you might have messed up in your youth, don’t mess up as an adult. Get working on that pardon.

What Should I Ask At An Interview?

Some interviews are fluid conversations actually; a true exchange of information where the interviewer and the applicant equally ask questions and provide answers throughout. This discussion style of interview is used to evaluate an applicant when the organization feels they can best draw out information and determine the fit of a person to their needs in this way.

It interests me a great deal when someone I’m working with experiences one of these interviews. They typically tell me how suspicious they were of the interviewer because they knew they were being evaluated, but had a hard time figuring out exactly what the interviewer was evaluating them on during the chat. Some applicants leave with a belief that the interviewer wasn’t very professional; simply because they’d expected a traditional interview and the conversation style threw them completely off guard.

Now, while the actually format of the job interview can vary, there are some things that remain consistent; you’ll have questions to answer, and you should be prepared to ask a few of your own. The questions you choose to ask are not just going to provide you with the answers you seek, they too are going to be evaluated by the interviewer, helping them discover what’s really important to you. So it’s vitally important that you come prepared with a few questions in advance of the interview and equally important that you pay attention to everything you learn while at the employer’s, because something may come up that peaks your curiosity or you wish to have clarified.

So I ask you, what information would you like to know from the person interviewing you that will best help you evaluate if this opportunity will be the right fit? If you’ve had outstanding or devastating relationships with your former bosses, you would probably appreciate some insight into the style of your potential supervisor. Knowing what they are like before you make a decision to accept a job or not may be of paramount importance to you. While this could be a strong determining factor, you have to realize that the company might move people around at any time, and so the person you get introduced to at the interview as your new boss might be reassigned, promoted, transferred etc. at any time; maybe on your 3rd week on the job. So perhaps in retrospect, you’d like to have inquired about organizational stability?

The thing about asking questions really comes down to this; while asking questions is great advice; there are no ‘best’ generic questions to ask. Why? Well, the reason is simply that what’s important for one person to know isn’t necessarily of the same significance to another person. You have to determine for yourself the thing or things that are of the greatest significance for you to know so you can proceed or withdraw from the competition; accept or decline a job offer.

For many people it’s the money and benefits issue, and you’ll get varying advice on when to ask or whether to bring it up at all. Me? I feel you should avoid asking if you can easily find this information such as in the job posting, their website or online. However, if you can’t track down the salary, I believe it’s not only understandable that you’d want to know, it’s one of the key pieces of information you have to have to make an educated decision on whether to accept, decline or negotiate. What a waste of your time and theirs if you accepted a job you’d really enjoy but end up crippling yourself financially to the point where in a short time you have to quit and go back to job searching.

One thing I’ve always enjoyed asking is if I could arrange a brief tour of the workplace at the conclusion of the interview. You see for me, I like to visualize myself working there, and even if the area I’d work in is on another floor or at a completely different address, I can pick up some clues as to the culture of the business and observe the faces of the employees. Are they generally happy or stressed? Are they friendly and welcoming or aloof? Is it loud or could you hear a pin drop? Are there windows bringing in natural light or is it fluorescent fixtures only? Hey, if I’m considering investing years of my life, I’d like some indication of what I’m contemplating becoming part of.

Good advice is to ensure the questions you pose are also attractive to the interviewer; recall I said they’ll be evaluating you on the questions you pose. Ask questions only about salary and benefits and they’ll be left with the impression your only concerned with yourself. Ask questions to get at the job itself, how what you do affects end users in ways which they’ll find most beneficial and you come across more favourably. Questions posed about how to maximize the businesses bottom line profits may be ideal in some cases and off the mark entirely in others.

If you were expecting a list of the top questions to ask, you won’t get it here today. Those, ‘Top 10’ lists aren’t the answer for every applicant. You’re best advised to focus on your own needs. Maybe work location, teamwork, opportunities to lead and be cross-trained are important and maybe their not.

What do you need/want to know?

Job Application Rejection

There was a time in my life when I was fortunate enough to get an interview for every job I applied to. Okay, being entirely honest, I actually got selected and hired for all those jobs I applied to and was interviewed for. Hey, I thought applying for work was pretty straight forward. In retrospect, it’s a good thing that pattern didn’t last very long, because had things continued that way, I’d have made a very poor Employment Counsellor.

Over the course of my working life, I’ve applied to many jobs and not been successful. I’ve applied and heard nothing, received letters telling me the organizations have moved in different directions, been told in person and over the phone that I didn’t get jobs too. In my experience, the more I wanted a job I didn’t eventually get, the more it stung. The loss of an opportunity I was only somewhat motivated to get didn’t hurt near as much. Perhaps you’ve noticed something similar yourself?

Being rejected by an employer does damage to your self-image. It’s called your psyche; your self-perception. It’s not surprising that we should feel badly after being passed over for jobs we really want. Seeing a job ad for a position we could see ourselves doing is one thing, but once we get down to actually applying, we go from casual observer to active applicant. The more we invest in the application by conducting research, targeting our resume, writing a cover letter, having conversations with people – all in an effort to obtain the position, the more it stings when all that effort doesn’t produce the results we’d hoped for.

The solution is not what some would think; to only put in minimal effort when applying in order to minimize your losses. This is the logic I’ve heard some people use over the years. To avoid getting their hopes up and being extremely disappointed, they jus don’t get too excited or invest too much of themselves in any potential job application. Ironically, when these people do get rejected, while you think they’d be less affected than the person who goes all in on applying, they actually feel a similar level of frustration. Not only is this frustration similar in it’s impact, they are often left wondering if they’d have had a different result with some more effort on their part.

Now there’s been times in my life when I’ve been unemployed and had to go through the process of finding jobs to apply to, submitting my application, not getting hired and continuing my search with other opportunities. I have to say, I’ve never lost touch with that feeling of joyful relief that comes when you have an employer select you from the many applicants they’ve had. The degree of relief experienced seems very much related to the length of time away from employment. I have also felt immense gratitude for the jobs I’ve been hired to do after going without one for longer than I’d have liked. It’s the memory of these success following roller coaster periods of hopes and frustrations which now help me immensely in my role as an empathetic Employment Counsellor.

This is the way life goes for many people though isn’t it? The Employment Counsellor is better for having experienced the personal ups and downs of job searching, experiencing the blues personally often helps a songwriter make a connection with their music, etc.

Now, I wouldn’t want anyone to experience a prolonged job search, fraught with it’s financial, psychological and emotional hardships just so they could get a better understanding and appreciation for the process. Besides, there’s no guarantee that just going through a lengthy period of unemployment makes one more appreciative of the job they eventually land in. I’ve seen some extremely bitter people; changed negatively and intensely so because of their unemployment. Let me assure you I’ve no wish to see anyone come close to that experience.

Having this personal appreciation for being unemployed and through the course of my daily work seeing the potentially spirit crushing affect of the job search process on others, I urge you to get support. Believe me, there’s no sign of weakness in reaching out to a Job Coach, Mental Health Counsellor, Employment Specialist or Employment Counsellor. It’s not an exaggeration to say that partnering up with one or more of the above as you navigate your career exploration and job search might just save yourself. Unemployment has destroyed marriages, destroyed families, financially ruined people of their livelihoods, and broken many people’s spirits of optimism. Some have lost jobs and ended their lives too. Job loss is a serious business.

You see being isolated at a time when you’re experiencing the emotional ups and downs of being hopeful and then rejected, time and time again can stretch a person’s patience and is a genuine test of fortitude, character and emotional well-being. This isn’t a time to draw further into yourself as your normally sound judgement may become skewed. In short, you might not make good decisions when your under prolonged stress and desperate.

It doesn’t have to be me, but get yourself some support. This is a running theme of mine because I know first-hand just how important being supported is when you’re job searching. There’s so much at stake; and you my reader; yes you – the one reading this – you’re so worth it!

A Huge Thank You … To You!

So today’s blog might not, on the surface, appear to help you get a job or keep a job. However, if you take a moment to pause and think, the behaviours I’m going to applaud and recognize are of the kind that will help you in your own workplaces.

And so it is today that I want to use my blog to express my sincere gratitude to those who have in the past taken the time necessary to post a comment after reading a blog entry. I have to say, the impact of your thoughtfulness and kindness is significant and extremely appreciated.

You see I know that as I strive for 900 words in each piece, that represents a commitment of time to get through the article. I’m not sure why I initially hit on 900 words as a daily goal; it just seemed in those first early blogs that it took that long to convey the messages intended. 900 words for the reader was enough to get in to a topic without being overly time consuming. So yes, to read my blog takes time, and I am grateful for all my readers; exceptionally so. I’ve found with bytes and brevity abounding around us in these times, not everyone has the attention spans they used to. Maybe for many 900 is actually too long?

Hence it is that after having read a piece of my thoughts, you can see that those who take a few moments and leave a comment leave me a tremendous gift; a gift I recognize as such and truly appreciate. I don’t necessarily envy the celebrities who have thousands of replies and comments whenever they post something, but I have had spikes where my daily readership increases, and where the comments are more plentiful than other days. I will admit while it’s not jealously or envy, I do love those days when there’s more activity than usual. I think this is to be expected.

So this one is for you the readers. Whenever you take the time to read my blog and if you so choose to go further and rate the piece or leave a comment, you also say something about yourself as much as you do the piece. You demonstrate appreciation and with your input you participate. How disheartening it would be to write day after day and have no ratings, no comments, no indication that anyone was listening or had any appreciation for what I was sharing! This is not only true for me of course, but for others you follow or pieces of theirs you read; maybe for yourself if you’re a writer, a blogger, a novelist.

There are those such as James, Gayle and Dave who are in my audience daily. There are those like Rochelle and Rhiannon who don’t comment frequently but when they do it’s significant and from the heart. There are those who are new followers, some who were with me right from the start back in February of 2012, and of course many who are attracted through LinkedIn posts in addition to my personal blog.

I have to stress how grateful I am to all of those – to you as well (yes you reading these words here and now) who make up my readership. One of the nicest things many of you do is gift me your time in reading a piece, leaving a short comment and then there are those who pass on the blog to someone in their audience. When I learn that the thoughts for a day have been shared beyond my own sites, it’s another moment of gratitude at my end. To be deemed worthy enough of sharing with your own readers in your own circles is a very great privilege I recognize.

And so you see it’s important for me to practice my own gratitude; the behaviour which I so often suggest to others is highly desirable. When you and I express our gratitude for the kindness of others, we say a lot about ourselves. Think about your recent past and recall if you can the moments when you personally thanked someone. Now, how did they receive and respond to your thoughtful words of appreciation? It’s my hope they in turn expressed their thanks. Unfortunate indeed if they brushed it off as nothing. They likely didn’t mean it by the way if they did.

Whether a co-worker, someone in management, a customer or client, a resident or patient, a child or a student; whomever you come into contact with, everyone is potentially someone we could thank for something given. Are you grateful for the student who appreciates your guidance, the patient who’s trust you’ve earned in treating them, perhaps the co-worker who backs you up every so often. Maybe you’re grateful for the customers that keep your doors open and spread the news about your services and products.

When you think about it, there’s so many people to not only be grateful for, but who are worthy of actually being told how they’d touched you. I know that it’s a busy world and social media has added one more thing when we have so many things vying for our time and attention. It’s precisely because of these demands on our time – on your time – that it’s important that I express my thanks to let you know how truly I appreciate you my readers.

So THANK YOU!

 

 

Getting The Best Of Your Staff

There’s things we are good at, things we are great at, and there are things that we get excited and enthused about. If we’re lucky, the things we’re enthusiastic about are also things we’re great at. In the workplace, if we’re fortunate, we land in a job where our boss recognizes and appreciates the importance of these things we are great at and love doing, and finds a way to put us in a position to use these talents.

This isn’t always the case though is it? I mean there are some Supervisors who fail to appreciate the talents their employees have. You may have actually experienced someone who in their wisdom, wanted those of their team to be interchangeable, and therefore rotated their staff around, making sure everyone did a little of everything. As a consequence of this thinking, many employees on a given team tend to grumble; frustrated that what they’d like to be doing most isn’t what they do, and the people doing whatever that is are a little jealous that you’re doing what they’d love to do too.

Now I get the interchangeable dream. When you know more than one job, this cross-training makes it far easier to shore up needs as they arise. Be it short or long-term absences or an increased demand for people performing a certain function, this keeps things running at a high degree of efficiency. The Supervisor who uses this thinking puts more emphasis on having a team of equally skilled employees to draw on than they do on assessing the individual preferences of their staff.

However, consider that an employee who performs work they love doing and does a great job as a result, can transform a job into a passionate career. Now multiply that single person who loves what they do right across your team, and suddenly you’ve got a force to be reckoned with! When people love what they do and they perform great works, they come to work happier, they invest more in their time while there, attendance improves dramatically, and the culture of the workplace becomes dynamic.

I believe therefore, that this way of going about managing human capital in the workplace is a better model. It becomes critical for a Supervisor to get to know their employees; to learn what they are good at, what they excel at, and where their passions are. I feel there are too many Supervisors who make assumptions about those on their teams solely through work performance statistics and casual observations. Investing in people by having regular conversations to learn where their interests and passions are is a great way to learn about the people you are responsible for. And it follows that if those under a Supervisor’s watch collectively perform at a high level of efficiency because they are doing work they love and doing it well, that Supervisor in turn is going to be recognized by their own Supervisor for achieving results. We now have the win-win; the employees win, the Supervisor wins, the company wins and most importantly, the customer or consumer wins.

In reality, it doesn’t always follow that the above is what we experience though. There are those in Management positions who abuse their power. They may be disgruntled themselves and go out of their way to break the spirit of the great worker they see emerging, by removing them from doing what they obviously enjoy doing and relocating them to some other task they perceive will be less enjoyable. This abuse of power is exactly that; while they explain their move by saying things like it will help the individual grow, become more valuable or learn a new skill.

This isn’t the case of someone being in a rut and plateauing in the workplace who could benefit from a shot of stimulation. No, this could be the case of an unhappy boss, jealous of the worker who arrives happy, works happy and leaves happy. It’s also putting their own needs above the organization they both work with. Sure it’s petty, but many a Supervisor is gainfully employed doing exactly this. Maybe you’re working for one now.

Ah but the best Supervisors are the ones who invest in the people they supervise. You know, they listen, they observe, they go out of their way to get to know the people on their teams; what makes them happiest, where they can be put in positions to excel and succeed. This takes some effort on the part of the person to do these things on top of their other tasks. The investment in this process however creates a better culture. People feel they are being listened to, accommodated where possible and they appreciate the thoughtfulness of the Supervisor. And because we evolve, our needs and wants change, this should be an ongoing, living practice rather than a one-time conversation.

When you do work you love, and that work is something you do really well, you show more pride in your accomplishments, you’re a better ambassador for your organization and you also pull harder for the person who’s given you this opportunity.

As an employee, it’s important to communicate your preferences to your boss and do work that motivates and stimulates so you become a highly valued employee.

If you can’t find work you love and you’re good at? Move on. Your good mental health is at stake.

 

After 12 years Together We Part

We’ve been through a lot together. It was approximately 12 years ago that he was walked over to where I sat, extended his hand introducing himself and sat down. Coming from outside the organization, I knew nothing of him prior to that moment; well nothing beyond my office mate was male.

“Hi I’m Trevor, nice to meet you.” Are those his exact words? Truth be told my memory isn’t that good! However, it was something like that. Now our office isn’t that large. In fact, the Supervisor that occupies the office next to us has the same square foot space all to himself. We’re so close to each other we can lean back in our chairs and high five each other if we want. In short, it’s the kind of space where you’d better get along with each other because once you add the two chairs, tables, a lateral cabinet and one chair for a guest, you don’t have a lot of free space to move around.

Our time together is soon coming to an end, as Trevor has made a decision to take a lateral move and work on one of the other teams in our office. That move necessitates a relocation and thus it is that as the longest serving partners in our office, we’ll each get new office mates. While he’s leaving, the change isn’t reserved for him alone though. Spend a dozen years working alongside anyone and when that time is up, both of us will be impacted. Whether I remain in the same space or get relocated myself to a space new to me is as yet unknown, but it will represent a change for me even if I don’t physically pack up and move.

If you’re in a similar situation to me, having shared your workspace with someone else for a long period of time, you know how you work things out together. Over time you get to know how you work best together. For example, I found that being sensitive to light and getting headaches as a result, he appreciated it greatly when we had the overhead bulbs removed from our lighting. That leaves our office darker in the a.m.; so much so that I have two small lamps on my desk which exudes a warmth until the morning sun through our window lights the place up sufficiently they aren’t required.

We’ve come to respect the other guy a lot too. I’m so much better for his wisdom, support, kindness and his generosity. I hope he feels the same way about me too; in fact if I’m honest, I know he feels the same way. We’ve always had great care for each other, especially when we’ve vented, been stressed over something or wanted to pitch an idea. It’s curious that over all that time, we’ve actually done very few workshops together as co-facilitators. We’re both very adept at sole facilitation, and as we’ve grown to a dozen of us on the team, the times we’ve been paired up to co-present has waned. Ah, but everyday we talk with each other about our groups, how the people are coming along, those that shine and those that struggle.

We talk sports with each other too; him with his college football team out of Alabama and me with my Alouettes out of Montreal. Yesterday he told me just how much he’s going to miss our sports conversations. It’s not that we can’t get up, walk around the office and have those chats, it’s just that they won’t happen on the spur of the moment, natural like. And of course we’d have to be mindful of the other person sharing that space; be it in his new location or the office we currently share with someone else sitting where he sits now.

As much as we’ve got along so well, it’s time he left. We’re at different stages in life and he’s destined for new challenges, new responsibilities and perhaps down the road a promotion. Diversifying his experience now puts him in a better place to make such a move, and I couldn’t be happier for him.

So one day this week, I suspect there’ll be an email go around announcing the pairings to come. With 3 new staff in our office arriving this week, and some staff in addition to Trevor on the move, we could have as many as 20 people impacted with those changes. With these moves, change is going to impact the entire office. Knowing someone and sharing a space with them are two different things. You have to find the boundaries all over again; music no music while working? Lighting or none? Who gets the lateral cabinet or do you share it? And of course the personalities of the two people in such a small space have to gel in some way. That adjustment period can be short or long depending on care, styles, attitudes and respect.

As for speculation, I’m not really doing that. I don’t have any guesses really, and I’ve other things to think about beyond whom the next office mate is. I do hope the two of us hit it off and if we come even close to the relationship Trevor and I forged together I’ll feel fortunate indeed.

You don’t go into a job thinking about developing a strong relationship with someone but it can happen. Thanks Trevor; for everything.

Coming To A Decision

All through your life you make decisions. By their nature, some of those decisions are bigger or smaller than others. Some are so huge they affect the course your life runs as a consequence. At the other end of the spectrum are those decisions you make automatically; seemingly without much thought or difficulty; like switching on a light when you enter a dark room.

It’s important to acknowledge and affirm you make decisions; that we all do, because when you linger over making a choice for what appears too long, you may just say outloud, “Why can’t I make decisions without all this stress?!” And it’s then, at those moments, you have to remind yourself that yes, you do make decisions. It’s just the gravity or importance of what you’re weighing over that has you paused until you choose.

Have you ever considered just how many decisions you make in a day? I’m not surprised you haven’t. You’d likely miss many even if you tried to recall all the decisions you make. What time to get up, to shower or not, turn on the light or stumble in the dark? Which pair of underwear? Slacks or skirt, shave or not? Cereal or toast and if it’s toast, butter, jam or peanut butter? Do the dishes now or when you come home at the end of the day?

Okay, so you’ve given yourself credit over the small ones. Good. Now, to the bigger ones; maybe one you’re fretting over now for all I know. Okay so let’s look at that process. First of all, if you’re upset that it’s taking too long to make your choice, consider on the positive side of things that you won’t be upset with yourself for having made a rash, spur-of-the-moment decision without giving things the time and reflection they require. Every made a rash decision without thinking and regretted it? Hopefully it wasn’t over something huge; yes, hopefully it was choosing one ice cream flavour over another; something with small consequences.

When considering 2 or more options, we generally weigh the pros and cons. We look at the benefits of each choice, (the good) and the negatives (consequences). Can I suggest by the way that we both remove the word consequences as a negative. Make a good choice and the positive outcomes are consequences of having made that decision. Consequences go both ways. Too often someone warns us of consequences in our decision-making and like the word stress, we come to associate it with a negative. But stress and decisions can both be positives.

Okay so you’ve got your pros and cons. If you’re looking for a choice that has all positives and zero negatives, you’re not likely to find it. Just as obvious is that whatever you don’t choose in the end likely has some upside or positives too. Believing there’s an option with nothing but positives, where everything is a win, just doesn’t happen much of the time when you’re faced with 2 or more big choices and you have to decide.

Take choosing a school to go to as an example. Is it the College or University close to home or the one across the country. One close to home might mean you could continue to live with your parents and save on residence costs, but then again, sometimes the freedom to do what you want without the constant scrutiny of your parents would be a welcome positive. You might mature faster by doing your own shopping, washing and cooking. On the other hand, you’ll miss dad’s barbeque and mom’s lasagna. As for programs, they may be similar but one has a slighter better reputation but comes at a higher fee. One’s in a densely populated city and the other isn’t. Maybe your family encourages you to go to one over the other, but the other is close to those ski hills you’d love to get out on. Ah decisions.

Consider that having decisions to make is a privilege. Some on this planet are fighting passionately for the rights you enjoy; the right to choose. Be it school, a political party to vote for in an election or if and whom to marry. Never wish you didn’t have to decide; that others would make decisions for you. Coming to a decision helps you grow. Some of your decisions, yes, you’ll regret those choices. This makes you human. We all make decisions we’d like to reverse, and yes, some of those are big ones. While you hope to learn the lessons that go with those choices you wish you could have back, the key is to look forward and make better, informed choices, not relive and beat yourself up over choices made in the past.

Go ahead and get information when weighing your choices. Pay attention to your gut too. If you flip a coin between two important options, do you feel hopefully of one over the other as the coin is in the air? What does that tell you? Grab the coin and put it in your pocket without looking at how chance might have played out.

In the end, DO choose. Spend the time you need but please make a decision. Don’t run the risk of missing a deadline, losing an opportunity, then feeling bad because you waited too long.

In the end, go with the positives of your choice and feel good!

Dark Days Having An Impact?

Everywhere on our planet, albeit at different times of the year depending on where you live, the elongated orbit we take around the sun brings us increased darkness as the sun takes a little longer to rise and sets earlier at the end of the day. Where I am in Canada, here I sit at 5:50 a.m. and outside is completely dark.

Now were this a couple of month’s ago, there’d be light outside. Our summer is waning and Autumn is moving in. While it’s many people’s favourite time of year, for others, this prevailing darkness which shortens our hours of daylight is of great concern. The darkness outside touches a darkness within; moods change, some cocoon themselves away, contact with others is restricted, it’s harder to get going in the morning and there can be a prevailing sense of anxiety, worry, stress and depression.

Some of us adapt to this change in light better than others. If your job is to record the attendance figures for your organization, you may note patterns of absenteeism, increased use of mental health days, and even when people are at work, there can be a drop in productivity for some individuals. This isn’t just a case of lazy workers, but may be attributed to this period of reduced natural light.

For many people, there will soon be days of commuting to work in the darkness and again commuting home in the dark. Not everyone has the benefit of sitting with a window out into the world around them, and so it’s possible that without making a conscious effort to get out for a walk at midday, one could travel to work in the dark, never see the light of day and then return home in the dark. Now if this goes on from Monday to Friday, that’s a huge block of time being deprived of daylight.

There’s a name for this condition which negatively impacts some people; seasonal affective disorder. (Isn’t there a name these days for everything?) It’s important to remember that such a condition is not someone voluntarily choosing to be so affected. This isn’t a conscious choice to be moody; it’s not something one can, ‘snap out of’. It’s a state of mental health.

Just like many other mental health conditions, it’s invisible to the eye though. I mean there’s no walking cast or arm in a sling that gives us a visual clue to someone’s condition. Those affected may actually do their best to compensate for their mood by forcing smiles, laughing along at things they don’t really find funny; in other words, doing their best to appear to be their normal self. They aren’t sick in the sense of having a virus nor is there a need to be walking around with a box of tissues at hand.

Now you and I who aren’t affected to the extent these people are might still find ourselves missing the sun. We all have an awareness of the lack of light in the morning and evening – all of us. However, those impacted to the point where it affects their mental health experience this lack of light differently. They may not know what the problem is defined as, they may just feel they aren’t themselves. Without knowing it’s the deprivation of natural sunlight, they may just brood more than normal wondering, “what’s wrong with me?”

Now take this condition and add to it unemployment. For many unemployed people, waking up and consciously realizing there’s no job to go to is in itself a depressing state. Looking for work as you know takes focus, energy, commitment, a strength to face the disappointments of outright rejection, being passed over for someone else or getting no feedback at all on jobs applied to. When you add in the negative impact of what we know to be Seasonal Affective Disorder, well, you’ve got someone who should be ramping up their job search but who is weighed down and not at their best. Worst of all, on the outside, they appear to be normal.

So, what can be done? Well, like many first steps, getting in touch with your physician is a good idea. A check up might be in order. Yes, and be honest when you see him or her. Even if you’ve got a 1 p.m. appointment on a sunny day and your mood has improved, it’s incumbent on you to share openly and honestly about how you experience your days. Many tend to downplay their mental health; wanting to appear ‘normal’, to come across as in good shape and in control; able to handle themselves. But if you conceal what you experience, you won’t get the help you need. Like the toothache that somehow disappears the day of the dental appointment, you’ll regret not being open and honest with your doctor who can’t treat what they don’t know.

Secondly, get out in the daylight. Go for a walk and clear your head. Make a point of looking out a window during the day if possible. Consider some vitamin tablets to compensate with what you miss from the sun.

Most of all, do your best to engage when your instincts tell you to withdraw and isolate yourself. Your thoughts will go to darker places if you’re alone. And finally, open up and share how you’re doing; this is a strength my friend.

We’re all in this together.