Investing In The Relationship

The best relationships are the ones in which both partners not only make initial investments in each other, but do so on an ongoing basis. The initial investments come easily to most people; going out of your way to show through your actions that this person means a lot to you. In the early stages of a relationship, there’s a lot to discover about this other person you’re drawn to. You’re on the lookout for the things that please your partner, you put effort into the relationship and you do little things that pay off with a smile brought to their face.

Strong relationships stand the test of time when partners continue to invest in each other. It’s important to realize that as the relationship evolves, so too do the two individuals which make up this partnership. Sometimes couples come to realize that their individual priorities have changed, along with their interests and needs. While each individual person may very well be a good person at heart, this evolution of the individuals involved can divide a relationship to the point where each person moves on in separate directions apart from on another. There’s no issue of blame, no wronged partner; just a parting of the ways, each with a healthy view of the other.

The relationship which exists between employers and employees works much the same. In the beginning, an applicant does their best to get to know a potential employer by doing their research. Then the applicant makes an approach, does their best to capture the employer’s attention and present themselves as a good match. The employer is also doing their best to present themselves as a good partner; dangling benefits, wages, work environment, culture and future growth to woo the applicant.

Once the two come together in an agreement, both employer and employee begin in the honeymoon phase where each invest in the partnership; the employee grateful for the opportunity is on their best behaviour. Employers are doing their best to welcome the new hire into the fold, making introductions all round, providing training opportunities and protecting the new hire from a full workload in the first early days. Both employee and employer check in with each other to see how the relationship is progressing and both want this partnership to be productive and lasting.

Now there’s no specific timeframe for the transition to the post-honeymoon period. A sign of the transition however, is when the newness has rubbed off, the routine of daily tasks is known, the employee has settled in and the employer stops checking in to see how the newbie is doing as a regular thing. Protecting the new hire from a full workload is over and expectations of full performance begin. This doesn’t mean the relationship has soured, it just means the 2nd phase has begun.

Employers show their continued investment in their employees by providing ongoing training, making sure staff have opportunities to develop professionally and acknowledge achievements employees make which enhance the end-user experience. They provide feedback on how they see the relationship, talk about where they as an entity are headed and why, hoping by this transparency, to avoid surprising their staff by moving in any direction that would catch their employees off guard and unawares. In short, the best relationships between employers and employees is where employers demonstrate great care for the staff they employ.

Employees too have a responsibility in this relationship. For the the partnership to continue to be a good one, employees need to pull in the same direction; work with each of their colleagues in order to be collaborative and productive. This can mean learning new procedures, taking on additional training with enthusiasm and continuing to develop as individuals so their skills remain competitive.

Frequently, as employees and employers evolve, the time comes when one of the two realizes that things just aren’t working as well as they once did or could, and a parting of the ways is in each partners best interests. It does not mean that either partner is necessarily to blame or at fault, but rather that they have grown and evolved in different ways, have different needs and their futures will continue to evolve down different paths. In parting, each actually does the other a favour. Only poor employees or poor employers belittle and demean the other – sometimes done from a place of hurt or feeling wronged. Smart employers and employees part on the best of terms which leaves reconciliation a possibility and intersecting in the future in different roles something to look forward to, such as moving to another organization in the same field.

When either partner ceases to invest in the relationship, things stagnate and what can set in is complacency. Employees stop stretching themselves and developing their skills, employers expect to stay competitive in their industry but fail to invest in ongoing training of their greatest assets – the people they employ.

If you apply yourself and do your best, you increase the odds of finding a great partner to build a relationship with. It takes effort, investment in each other and understanding that if you take care of your partner’s needs, you often find they take of yours.

Whatever your role where you work, may you be in a great partnership and get as much as you give.