Networking Basics


There are essentially two types of interviews you can be part of: the traditional interview you get invited to and the less popular but equally effective interview you arrange yourself. This second type is generally referred to as an informational interview; one you initiate and take the lead on, designed to gather information rather than apply for a job.

The problem for many people is that interviews are seen as a negative experience; only to be endured and tolerated as a means of getting a job, and the fewer the better. So the idea of voluntarily initiating further interviews with people – and taking the lead at conducting it, just isn’t remotely appealing.

Yet, more and more we hear the advice of experts that we should be out there networking. Not very often does the advice we get include who to talk to and how to get the conversations started; even less so on how to keep them going. So here’s a few ideas.

Think about the people who currently work in the jobs you’re interested in, and for the companies you find highly desirable. These are the people you’d likely benefit from having conversations with. The key is to approach them when there is no job currently advertised, for it’s likely they’ll decline any invitation to have a chat at that point out of a desire to avoid any conflict of interest.

20 – 30 minutes is what your after. Less than 20 minutes just isn’t sufficient and anything longer should be entirely up to them to extend their time voluntarily. So how do you get to meet? Initiate a phone call, explain you’re doing some research into the field in general, the position they hold in particular, and you’d love to have 20 minutes of their time. Make yourself available on their schedule by the way, not yours.

Okay so you’ve got a meeting set up and now it’s up to you to come prepared with questions. Have these down on paper and come prepared to take notes; bring along your resume to share and get some feedback on as well.

What to ask? This is the hardest part in the beginning and why some people refuse to try; they simply get anxious wondering what they should say. Well, think about what you want to know; what’s important to you. You might want to ask about what their worst day looks like. Not as an opening question of course, but at some point, finding out what the worst day they experience looks like can reveal if you’re up for it or not. Of course, finding out what success looks like is key too.

What keeps them up at night? This question gets at problems and concerns they have in the job that might spell an opportunity for you. First and foremost, will you worry about the same things they do if you’re in the job and can you handle what the job would have you potentially taking home? The thing they worry about most might be something you can address or at the very least prepare yourself for. Keep in mind that just because they hold the job you’d like, they are a different person than you, and their worries need not be yours. You might be creative and innovative whereas they aren’t, and their biggest worry might be something your ingenuity has an answer for.

Asking what advice they’d give themselves were they in your situation is a thought-provoking question because they have inside knowledge of the role, and they know now what they’d do differently. As you’re entering the field, you have the opportunity to bypass mistakes they’ve made, maybe concentrate on some key aspect of the business that is emerging or trending.

The biggest and best thing you can do is listen with crystal clear focus. If they sense you’re asking questions but not really engaging in what they say, they’ll shut down, give you surface, predictable answers and send you packing quickly. If however, you listen intently and with a peaked interest, they may extend the time, give you sincere help and drop a nugget or two for you that they didn’t plan on doing when you first walked in. These nuggets are golden opportunities and will help you strengthen a future interview.

An unusual question but a good one is to ask what you should be asking but aren’t. You know, that one thing that might be the make or break factor to getting hired or rejected. Only they will instantly think of whatever it is that’s essential when you ask this question. What immediately comes to their mind is what you’re after.

Networking is about creating and nurturing ongoing relationships and something you want to leave with is another person to potentially meet; someone you’ve been referred to by the person you’re now meeting. Ask for a name and see if they’d be willing to introduce you or at the minimum, allow you to mention their name as referring you on. This referral is a pass that gets you in where your competition might be blocked.

By the way, when you’re done, leave them with a handshake, a smile, a word of gratitude for their time and follow up with a short thank-you card – not an email.

Networking is having conversations and it’s these that may help you; it is still often who you know.

Advertisements

Don’t Like Talking About Yourself?


Job interviews are often viewed with extreme negativity for many, and one key reason is a lack of comfort when it comes to talking about ourselves. To be successful, we have to come across as the very best applicant interviewed, and being the best means we did the best job at selling ourselves. Ironically, it’s this very idea of being not just really good but actually better than everyone else that most people can’t come to grips with.

I mean it’s just not in most people’s nature to believe we’re better than all the other’s we’re up against; not just for a job, but well, for anything. There’s great inner conflict you see, when we go about our lives with humility, believing that being our personal best is what we should strive for, rather than being better than all those around us. Then suddenly we walk into a job interview and we’re supposed to turn on some switch that transforms us into extolling ourselves as the best choice to hire; better than all the competition; the one, the only, the obvious choice. Then once we’re hired, feeling we’re better than all the nice people we’re to work with is going to be frowned on? Odd looking at things this way.

It’s not surprising as I’ve laid it out that many have this loathing of the interview process. It starts the moment you sit down and they ask if you wouldn’t mind just telling them a little about yourself. Right off the bat, there you are, expected to talk about yourself, emphasizing your strengths, highlighting your education, showcasing your experience, lauding your accomplishments; all in an effort to impress. But impressing people isn’t how you go about your daily living.

One person I had a conversation with not long ago told me that when they were asked the question, “Why are you the best person; the one I should hire?”, they had great conflict because they couldn’t be sure they were the best person. Without knowing who they were up against, they really didn’t know, Then they went further and said that there probably was at least one person who would be better in the job then they were. Who’s to say without meeting them?

Now as an Employment Counsellor I would hope you always come across as the best applicant to hire. This interview process is after all the employer’s opportunity to meet future potential employees and select from those expressing interest the one or one’s who will best contribute to the organization’s needs. That being said, I do understand this nervousness and great lack of comfort in what many see as bragging about one’s abilities.

As I’ve said many times before, so many influential people in our lives – in YOUR life – have sent you the clear message that bragging isn’t a very attractive quality. Parents, Teachers, characters in movies we felt drawn to and admired, all gave us the message over and over that we shouldn’t think of ourselves as better than others. These people, in positions of influence and authority kept giving us the same message so often we imbedded it, and so we act accordingly as we go about our lives. Funny then that Teachers gave us tests and told us who got the highest mark, those same movie characters were played by actors or actresses who came across the best at auditions, and even our parents likely told us we were, “simply the best little boy or girl.”

A question for you: would you feel comfortable telling someone about the excellent qualities you find in a co-worker or best friend? Likely you would. It stands to reason then that your co-workers and friends if asked, would also be comfortable telling an interviewer about your own good qualities and accomplishments. They might say how well you carry yourself, how you show up every day with a positive attitude and you’re always punctual. They’d likely be happy to say you’re trustworthy, dependable, good at what you do and well-liked by the customers who appreciate your service. Would you agree so far? Good.

Okay, with it settled that others around you would speak favourably about you just as you would speak favourably of them, let’s go back to the interview and the idea of presenting yourself. When asked why you’re the best, or even the question that typically starts the whole interview; the dreaded, “Tell me about yourself”, breathe, smile and begin. Begin with these words…

“Sure I’m happy to tell you about myself. My co-workers appreciate my positive attitude and willingness to lend a hand whenever asked. My supervisor has noted my ability to manage multiple tasks well, and customers often compliment me on my excellent service.”

Not once in the above are you actually speaking about yourself or bragging. You’re simply sharing what other’s have appreciated about your work habits and the results you achieve. The co-workers speak to your positive attitude, the boss to your multi-tasking and the customers to your service. While it’s all about you, there’s no, ‘me talking about me’ in there.

While you don’t know who you’re up against, you do know what you’re up against – it’s you and this opportunity. If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t choose to be there. As you are there, it logically follows you want it enough, and want to be chosen. That means you do want to be seen as the best.

Being Denied An Interview Stings Yes, But…


You find a job you’re interested in and so you apply. The degree of effort you put into your application is likely related to how much you really want it; minimal effort for a job you’d do but doesn’t fire you with enthusiasm, putting in  the maximum effort for a job that feeds your passion. Time goes by, and you realize no interview is coming; you’ve been passed over.

Now, depending on how much you wanted that job, you’ll feel anything from mild disappointment to heartbreak. When you’ve failed to get an interview for a job you didn’t really want very much in the first place, it’s easy to rationalize things and put it down to your minimal effort. “I didn’t really want it bad anyhow, so it’s a good thing actually that I didn’t get an interview.” By the way, I’ve seen people actually land interviews for jobs they only half-heartedly applied for and then they’ve dithered over whether they should actually go or not; not wanting to waste both their time and the time of those interviewing.

Today though, I want to focus on the job interviews you really wanted but didn’t get. Why does that sting so much? And make no mistake, it does hit hard.

So, there’s a few reasons we need to acknowledge and understand. First of all, you likely put a lot of effort into your application. Researching the job itself, the organization, the people themselves who work there and how they contribute to the overall culture. There’s the job itself of course, and the more you know about the position and the organization, the more you can visualize yourself working there. The interview denial comes as a blow because what it represented was validation. Validation of your credentials; skills, education, competency, experience and ability to do the job.

Like any rejection, the more you wanted it, the harder is it to take. Some will see this rejection as a brick wall standing between themselves and a position they really wanted. These folks will turn away from the desired position with the organization and head off in another direction. However, there are other applicants that will regroup and launch themselves back at the organization in the future with a subsequent application. These folks are either blind to rejection or persistent and tenacious; believing that this one rejection was nothing more than a setback, a hiccup in their pursuit of what they’ll eventually succeed at obtaining.

Of course, rejection is hard to take and extremely frustrating. Many of the people I partner with are so frustrated with the effort they put in and the negligible results they obtain that this becomes their biggest factor in contacting me for support and guidance. “What am I doing wrong?”, is the most common question they start with in our first meeting.

One thing to consider I would like to point out is that there are times when being rejected and not getting an interview could be the best thing that happens to you. When you don’t get an interview, get past the disappointment and look at things as objectively as you can. Ask yourself if perhaps you didn’t just dodge a bullet. Had you got the interview and landed the job, would it have been a job which fulfilled 3 core factors; 1) You’d do well, 2) It would pay well and most importantly 3) you’d love?

I’ve had times in my own life where I applied to a job I believed at the time I could do and enjoy only to fail at getting an interview. At the time, I can remember feeling disappointed as I’d read a letter stating how unfortunate it was but they’d decided to move ahead with more qualified applicants. If memory serves, they’d wish me well and that was that. While this particular memory was years ago, it turned out to be a tremendous blessing. Had I got an interview and won the competition, my career would have taken a different path and my career as an Employment Counsellor been inevitably delayed or never have happened at all.

Job interview rejection stings precisely because we take it as a personal rejection of ourselves. Being interested in a job and applying for it, we’re offering ourselves up for some assessment of our ability to fit with both the job and a company. When we get denied, we can’t but help see it as a personal rejection for who we are as a person. This is not actually the case of course. From the employer’s perspective, the pool of applicants is bigger than at any time in history. Among the applicants there will be a greater number who meet their desired needs and therefore choosing whom to interview gives them a greater number as well. This means there are others who are equally qualified for whom an interview is not forthcoming, there just isn’t time to interview everyone.

You might be tired and frustrated at hearing little more from an employer other than there were many qualified applicants and you weren’t chosen. I mean, how can you improve on your future applications without some further direction? The truth could simply a numbers game. They want to interview 3 or 4 people as this is all their time and needs allow, and once they have these qualified applicants, they reject the rest. Interviewing the 22 others who really wanted it bad, from the 175 that applied isn’t in the best interests of the organization. No fault on your part.

 

Job Search; You’re Doing It Wrong


Well, okay, I admit I don’t know how you personally go about finding work, but from what I see on a daily basis, the majority are going about it the wrong way.

Yes, I watch people come in to our resource centre and they either go right to the physical job board or call up a job search site online and look at an electronic job board. They visually scan the jobs there and then I see them pick one and fire off their resume. So, does that sound like you? If so, then consider yourself in the majority I referenced in the opening paragraph who may just be going about things in the wrong way.

There are 4 steps to the process of finding work; work that’s a great fit and that you’ll keep for some time at any rate. Most people who sit down and start scanning jobs to see what’s available and then immediately apply are actually only doing the 4th and final step – the application. I know this, because in addition to watching them, I go a step further and engage in conversation with them and when I do, I’m gathering information myself to determine if they’ve done any or all of the previous 3 steps and most haven’t.

So to be clear, yes I agree you can find a job by only doing the 4th step – applying. However, it’s likely that what you’ll get is a job that doesn’t last for long because the personal fit isn’t as good as you’d hope it will be. The result may indeed have you believing that a job is a job, work is work, and the idea of finding a job you’ll love is a luxury or pure luck rather than the norm. That’s rather unfortunate if this becomes your belief.

So, what the first three steps to a successful job search that ends with a satisfying conclusion? Interested in knowing? Great!

Step 1. Clarify

Know yourself well enough that you are able to quickly identify and label your strengths, values, accomplishments, preferences, skills and abilities. Don’t just assume that you can bypass this first critical step. Do you know what your work values are for example? Companies sure do; you see it on their websites all the time reflected through they mottos, mission statements and ‘about us’ pages, They clearly tell you what they believe, and believe me when I say they’ll expect you to tell them the same about yourself. They are determining the fit of the next person just as you should be determining the fit of an employer to you.

Step 2. Research

The extent to the research some job seekers do is limited to the information on the job posting they picked off a job board. Seriously? That’s it? You get what you deserve if this is all you do, and I don’t mean that in a mean way but as a statement of reality. You’ll get out of a job what you put in and if you don’t look into the people, the organization and what the environment is like that you’re considering walking into, well, don’t be surprised if it’s not what you expected.

By the way, you should only conduct research into an organization or a possible career or job after having assessed who you are and what makes you tick in step 1. If you neglect to assess yourself first, all that information you gather in your research still won’t tell you if the fit is going to be a good one or not for how you go about your day, and whether the role itself you research will bring you satisfaction.

Step 3. Decide

After clarifying your strengths, interests, accomplishments and what you want out of a future job, you did some research and looked at occupations and organizations that have a high probability of working in with great success. Good. Now the challenge is to make a decision between the choices before you. You may have 2 – 4 jobs before you; all of which will bring you a measure of happiness and in which you will contribute to the success of the organizations that may hire you. A decision is in order, so make one after some careful consideration but don’t get paralyzed putting off deciding.

Step 4. Act

Okay, now go ahead and actively apply for the jobs you want. Bolstered with knowing yourself well, knowing what you’re after and why what you’re after is the best fit, you’ll compete with greater confidence. That confidence is going to come across as an attractive quality.

Look, there’s a lot of people competing for jobs these days. Employers have the luxury of many people to choose from. Some job seekers put very little thought and effort into their applications; applying day after day and just hoping that something sticks and they get a job. Employer’s who interview and hire these people get what they deserve too.

The happiest people, the ones who have shorter unemployment, get hired quicker and stay longer, are the ones who step back, assess themselves, do their homework and apply to jobs they’ve landed on after careful consideration.

You might not agree with me though and that’s your choice. You might just accelerate to the job boards and fire off your resume to a job you just discovered 3 minutes ago and figure you can do. If this is your wish, all the best. Hope it works out.

Tired Of Finishing Second?


While some of you are trying to figure out why you aren’t landing job interviews, there’s other folks who can’t figure out where they are going wrong who not only get interviews, but apparently perform really well. Not only are they getting short-listed and interviewed, they perform well enough to have second and third interviews. All these interviews boost their confidence, have them thinking they are so close to landing a position and then, again and again they get informed that the job has been offered to and accepted by another candidate.

The enthusiasm required for a sustained job search is indeed bolstered by initial success, but when the job offer is just beyond one’s fingertips and gets snatched away, it’s a tough experience to go through. Now repeat that several times over a period of six months to a year and you begin to sense how frustrating that must be for the people concerned. To add to this frustration, not only are they not getting hired, but when following up with employers to get feedback, it’s hard to hear that they think the candidate performed really well and there’s no tangible piece of advice they can pass back to improve on future interviews.

In other words, in attempting to figure out how to improve or where they are falling short, they get nothing to work on, nothing to adjust. So if they can’t figure out where they are going wrong, the feeling arises that they are likely doomed to repeat the experience. They’ll fall short again and again because they’ll go on acting as they’ve always acted, saying what they’ve always said, and hoping for a different outcome.

It’s not like they want to hear about some fatal flaw in their approach, but at the same time, they’d actually rather have someone find something to address rather than hear a sympathetic, “You did great. Don’t change a thing.” Sure it’s affirming and validates all the effort they put in to perform at their best, but the end result is the same, no job offer.

For a moment, let’s de-personalize the application process. Instead of talking about you specifically, let’s look at a reality. In any competition; for a job, a race, a trophy etc., there has to be a number of entrants for it to truly be a competition. The bigger the prize, the stronger the competition. Each individual or team competing trains and competes to the best of their ability and in the end, wants to feel they’ve given it their best shot. Some know they are longshots to win and others feel they’ve got a legitimate chance of winning it all, seeing themselves as a favourite to win. The one thing all of the competitors know without a doubt though is that there can only be one winner. The longshots who finish eighth often cite pride in doing their best and acknowledge that those who finished first and second are just that much better; they are at a different level of compete. The second place finisher? For them it stings. They were so close they could taste it. Next time around they vow to get hungrier, so they work harder, they make adjustments, but they also acknowledge they did their best, they just came up short to a competitor who on that day, performed better.

The competition for a job is much the same. You know when you apply that there will be others doing likewise. A reality is there’s one job to be had and therefore there’s going to be one successful candidate and everyone else who will fall short. This is a reality you have to accept when choosing to apply. Your job is to position yourself so you come across as the best candidate. What’s meant by, ‘best’, is responding to the needs of the employer. If you succeed in addressing all their needs, (this you can control), it’s going to come down to their preferences in the intangibles, (this you can’t control).

In other words, there isn’t a shortcoming in you. You are doing nothing wrong. There’s nothing to fix, there’s nothing to change in your performance. You did the best you could, you stayed authentic and genuine in your delivery and represented yourself to the very best of your abilities. In the end, they made their choice and this is their prerogative. It stings absolutely. If you still want it bad, let them know. Those hired don’t always work out, or new needs arise and you might be considered a month or two after this disappointment.

But all competitor’s for a race or a trophy have one thing you may not have; a Coach. Someone who they listen to, take advice from, someone who will give them honest feedback and push them to find that elusive next level of compete.

So who’s your Coach? Excellent advice is to find someone you can establish some chemistry with. It’s no guarantee, but perhaps they can indeed give you some single piece of advice to consider that in the end makes a difference. Whereas an employer might not feel comfortable sharing how to improve, a professional Coach, someone experienced and with a track record of partnering successfully with others will. I’m not talking about your girlfriend or sister’s friend here, I’m talking about a professional Employment Coach.

It’s not the answer for everyone, but it just might be the answer for you.

 

23 And Expecting It All


“You can be anything you put your mind to.”

Have you ever had someone tell you that, and did you believe them? If you were fortunate, you did have people put that belief in your ear, and they were likely people in positions of authority or respect whom you trusted. Maybe it was mom and dad, a relative or a teacher. I say fortunate in the sense that they believed enough in your potential that they opened up an entire world of possibilities.

This notion of being anything you want to be, of having everything you want to have, is nothing new. People have been encouraging their children to aspire to realize their dreams for thousands of years. However, there’s a specific generation, the one we termed the, “Me Generation” that got this message in ways no generation before them did. Not only was it a parent or a relative encouraging their child, it was a broader society urging an entire population on.

That message of being anything you wanted to be was supported by having the resources like no previous time in history either. Post secondary schools offered courses responding to this demand, and while the costs for some were prohibitive, student loans, bursaries, grants, and for many the financial support of affluent families opened up the reality of higher education. In our parents generation, you may have been limited to a few career options; many choosing to follow in their parents careers. Then in a very short period of time, the floodgates opened and all kinds of jobs came into being at the same time which had previously never existed.

These days, the options for courses at Community Colleges and Universities are extensive. There are additional options too; self-employment, private colleges, training institutes, online learning, etc. While our high schools here have dropped from 5 to 4 years over time, this has had the affect of having young people make career decisions at an even younger age than before; ironically in an age when all these new careers and employment possibilities haven’t even entered their awareness.

So many 13 and 14 year olds are feeling the pressure to make major decisions they are actually incapable of making with sound reasoning.; they just haven’t experienced enough of life yet. Once in high school, they have to decide on University or College level classes; the choice of which determines the education path they will experience. And all the while, the message they keep hearing is, “you can be anything and do anything you put your mind to.”

So what’s the problem with telling an entire generation they can have it all? Something was left out. We, as the generation before them neglected to mention they wouldn’t have it all immediately. So now we’ve got 23 year old adults who bought into that belief of having it all and they want it all now. They want to own homes or a condo; they want unrelenting love, trips abroad, careers and what they consider to be decent wages. This generation is pretty sure they know their worth; after all, they’ve had it drilled into they for half their young lives that they are special; the world is theirs for the taking.

One consequence they are experiencing is stress in ways no generation before them ever did. The distance between the reality of their current situations and the expectations of where they’d be at 23 is further apart then ever. So now, they wonder aloud, “I thought my career would be rolling along, I’d be paid well for my talents and education. I’ve got a job, but that job isn’t what I want to do really, I want a career and I’m not getting it as fast as they led me to believe. I’m not getting interviews for jobs I apply to. It’s so hard.”

The gold is flaking off the treasured picture of success. Wanting it all – expecting it all at 23 – that just hasn’t panned out. The consequence is young adults are feeling not just stressed but disillusioned, let down, questioning themselves, wondering if they should take more courses, a second degree, seeing themselves as underachievers and wondering suddenly why this world that is theirs for the taking isn’t giving them everything they’ve had as it did up until now.

A lot of people in the previous generation – my generation felt this too. The thing is we didn’t feel what they feel until we were older, in our late 30’s or early 40’s. At 23 we didn’t expect it all but we were working towards getting it. At 23, what hasn’t developed is the very thing that would help with the stress they are experiencing; problem-solving skills built on real life experiences. We developed patience and worked towards getting our dreams fulfilled.

I’d suggest we understand young adults in their early twenties in this light and using this context. They aren’t greedy, self-centered or immature. They are bright, hopeful, well-educated academically and exactly what we hoped they’d be; aspiring. That they want and expect it all now is good, and the struggle they are just realizing they have to undergo to get it comes as surprising news. What we can do is what we have always done, encourage and support them as they grow.

Life is all about learning and it never stops. For if we had it all at 23, what would the next 50 – 70 years be for?

3 Problems To Resolve


In my role as an Employment Counsellor, I’ve looked over job postings for literally thousands of various careers and jobs over the years; thousands that is, with no exaggeration.

One thing that I’ve noticed when looking at the qualifications required to be successful in the majority of these postings is the need to bring problem solving skills. While some postings leave it at that, others give clues as to how they want them handled. With key words such as, ‘tactfully’, ‘quickly resolve’ and, ‘troubleshoot’ included in the job description, they provide us with key words to use when constructing the application resume and during interviews.

And so it is that I introduce those in my job search classes to three problems, which I share with you here today. My goal in doing so, is to observe how the participants address each one as they work in small groups. I pay close attention to not just the resolution, but listen carefully as they discuss and share with each other their own thoughts. It’s these thoughts and possible courses of action that help me best understand what a person is thinking and how that thinking stands up with the others, is dismissed or accepted, built on or ignored.

So, while I can’t do the same with you my reader, I present them nonetheless. You might find the problems here mundane, easily resolved or tricky. Let me tell you that each one here is a real life situation for someone I partnered with. For each, what would you do?

Problem 1

You wake up and realize you slept through the alarm. You’re 45 minutes later than usual, the car doesn’t have enough gas to get you to work and you’ve got $3.75 in change. The top you’ve put on has a mustard stain, the dog needs to be fed and just threw up on the kitchen floor. Oh and yes, that is a cold sore next to your lip. Welcome to day 3 on your new job.

Problem 2

It’s like the person next to you in your new job hates you and wants you to fail. They ignore you at best, give you incorrect information and tell you flat out that you aren’t wanted there. For this problem, consider not only what you would do, but what might be going on with that coworker which is causing the hostility.

Problem 3

After accepting a position and working for 4 days, you get a new job offer from one of the positions you previously interviewed for. This new offer is slightly more money, has no benefits, is 20 minutes further to commute to one way, and could provide more advancement. Your first 4 days have gone really well by the way.  For this problem, what are the factors you weigh and if you decide to stay, what do you tell the employer with the new offer? If you decide to take the new offer, what do you say to the employer you’re working for now?

Okay, so how did you do?

Problem 1

If you rely on a device to wake you on time, always set a second one. In this situation, that will help going forward but not at the moment. You’re late. First thing is to know the policy and practice of your employer. In some, you have to speak in person with your boss or another supervisor. In others, an absent line will do. Immediately report in when you arrive, explain yourself, apologize and offer to make up the time. Change the top or add a light sweater/jacket. Get the dog out while doing the above and while some have cleaned up after the dog, others have said they’d let it sit there until they came home. No comment! As for getting to work, when you have no gas, bus fare one way might work if transit is available. Can you call on family, a friend, a neighbour? Can you take a cab, share a ride, carpool?

Problem 2

If things start off this badly, it’s more about them than anything you’ve said or done. “Can we talk?” might be a good approach and then gently tell the person how you feel and ask what’s going on as you want this to work. If you get a resolution, good. If not, and only now, escalate your concerns. In this case, what was really happening was the long-term employee had hoped a personal friend of hers would get the job and they didn’t. Talking it out was healthy, the person apologized for their behaviour and they actually became great co-workers.

Problem 3

There’s incomplete information in this problem. Are you getting benefits now? What are the two jobs and are either of them a dream job? How much money are we talking about? Still, you’ve got a decision. The key is to preserve the relationship with the employer you turn down. Don’t for example, just stop going into work and refuse to answer their phone calls. If you do leave, make it clear you stopped actively applying once accepting their offer, thank them for their confidence in hiring you and hope they understand. After only 4 days, you’re not indispensable. Going from the stress of no job to the stress of multiple offers happens when you apply with a strong resume/cover letter and improved interview skills.

While not major perhaps, resolving any problem prepares you for the big ones by honing your problem solving skills.