Communicating Effectively

It was back in 1980 on Erindale Campus of the University of Toronto that I was first told in a Sociology lecture that effective communication was sending a message from one person to another and having it received and understood in the way it was intended. If the person receiving the message interprets it in any way that differs from the intent of the sender, you have miscommunication.

With such a straightforward explanation of the communication process, why then is it so hard for people to communicate effectively? To answer this question, we have to look at some of the many things that accompany the message when it’s being transmitted to the person receiving the communication. Tone of voice, body language, physical proximity, the method of communication, past histories of the two individuals, context, and the list goes on. There’s a lot packed into how we communicate with others!

You might think that removing all the above would make communicating so much easier and increase clarity, but not so. How many times have you read an email for example and been unsure of the meaning behind the words you’ve just read?

In the workplace, communicating effectively is of great importance to employers. This is evidenced in the number of job postings which include, ‘strong written and verbal communication skills’ as part of the qualifications for the job. For whether it’s with customers, clients, co-workers, Managers or the general public, being able to communicate effectively is critical to increased productivity, company image and your own individual success.

How effectively you communicate begins the moment you come into contact with anyone who works in an organization you’re interested in joining. Whether it’s a phone call to gather information, a cover letter accompanying your resume, or the job interview itself, your communication skills are on display and you’ll be assessed at each one of these stages by company personnel as being a weak or strong fit based on how you send and receive information.

Everyone with something to communicate begins with an idea that they wish to share. People who communicate effectively then do many things simultaneously in just a few seconds. They think of their audience; the person or people who will receive the message. They consider their own relationship with these people and how best to pack the message so it not only gets delivered, but stands the best chance of being unpacked by those receiving the message in the way the sender intends. Should it be a text, an email, in person, over the phone, a group meeting, posted as an announcement on a bulletin board, etc.

But that’s just the method of communication. The words themselves have to be well thought out, to avoid any chance of being misunderstood. Even then, it’s not enough to guarantee success. The tone of voice we use is critical. For example if you shared some exciting news with a co-worker that you’ve just received a promotion, you might be confused if they say, “Gee that’s great”, while at the same time they yawn and roll their eyes. Even though they say the news is great, their tone and body language isn’t consistent with what you heard. In fact, you’re likely to believe the body language and tone over the actual words you hear and be left feeling disappointed they aren’t as excited as you.

Now imagine that same situation happening not just with a co-worker, but rather your boss. The boss tells you to have something done by 1:00 p.m. and you smile, wink an eye and say, “Yeah, I’ll get right on that!”, and chuckle. Your boss is probably left wondering if you are really going to get to it right away or you think they are kidding and have no intention of doing what they just asked. It’s likely they’ll say, “No, I’m serious; 1:00 p.m.” This second communication is also going to be delivered clearer, with little room for miscommunication. In fact, even if you got the message right the first time, your tone, facial expression and body language sent conflicting signals with the words you used. This inconsistency may actually be so confusing to an employer that it could limit your role in a company, causing you to be passed over for promotions because there’s a lack of faith in your communication skills.

Suppose you want to get to know the people you work with and figure having lunch with them one-on-one will give you both sufficient time to get to know one another. You say to someone, “I’d like to have lunch with you one day this week to get to know each other better.” They might be confused, especially if there is little history between you for them to understand the context for your request. Is this just lunch? Are you personally interested in them? Why them? So they might ask you for clarification by simply saying, “Why?” Although your motives are clear to you, what you have to understand is your motives aren’t clear yet to them.

Miscommunication can lead to awkwardness, jobs failing to get done, puzzlement, confusion and conflict just to name a few negative outcomes. Good advice is to consider your audience, how you’ll deliver your message, and checking for understanding once the message is received by asking for feedback.

 

 

 

Starting Well In A Remote Job

How times have changed. Up until this year, if you told your friends you just took a remote full-time job, they’d ask when you were leaving because they’d like to throw you a farewell party. However, here in the 2nd wave of a world-wide pandemic, working remotely doesn’t mean you’re moving at all, but rather you’ll be working out of your home through your computer using a platform to connect you with others. The other possibility is working out of a central location with co-workers, but each of you is sequestered away in a place of security and privacy while you interact with clients or customers strictly online.

Organizations who traditionally dealt in-person with their clients and customers have transitioned to this new way of conducting their business, and employees have sometimes had to navigate change on their own. IT departments in larger companies have been called upon to support people over wide geographical areas and employees with no training in the use of Zoom or Teams have had to learn both on their own and from each other.

But what of the new hire? How do you come on board not only having to learn the technical aspects of the job, but also manage the soft skills of interacting with co-workers, demonstrating your worth to a boss you only see on a laptop monitor? How do you prove yourself so that your probationary period moves behind you and you’re accepted as a lasting member of the team?

This question of getting off to a good start was raised with me by my good friend Lorraine, following a post I wrote yesterday on getting off to a good start in a traditional workplace. Working remotely from your home is anything but traditional. So Lorraine, thanks for the inspiration.

There are drawbacks for sure when you’re introduced online to your new teammates. You can’t shake hands, you get out and get to know each other over lunch, nor can you sit side by side as you job shadow your newly assigned mentor and they walk you through what you need to learn. But here’s some sage advice for all kinds of challenges in both work and personal life: focus on the positives rather than looking for and focusing on the negatives. And there are plenty of positives.

For starters, this is your home and your space. You control what others will see and hear when your camera and microphone are activated. So think about what’s behind you in your work chair. Establish a look for your space that makes you the focus, rather than your background. Tilt the monitor so you project prominently to others rather than appearing to peek over the bottom or off to the side. If you’re in front of a blank beige wall, avoid wearing a beige sweater, otherwise you might just blend in so much you challenge people you interact with to fix on you.

While it’s true you can’t go out for lunch with your teammates or sit in a lunchroom, think of the positives. There’s no added costs to dine out, no awkward chicken wing sauce on your cheek, no worries if you unknowingly slurp your soup and if you drip on your top while at home, you have your wardrobe at hand to save you. What you can do is have a coffee or tea break with your team and get to know each other sharing a mug and sharing your stories.

If you do get assigned a mentor, it’s likely they’ll share their screens with you and thus you’ll be able to see them as they work and follow their cursor around a screen. This can actually be more helpful than sitting too close for comfort next to them in a tiny office or too far away to read their screen. On your own screen, you can increase or decrease the text for your own needs. Advantage you.

It’s still important to know the expectations others have for your learning. What do you need to know and by when in order to be fully productive? Where you might not be able to take certain materials out of an office, working from home might be an advantage where you have electronic documents to read anytime you wish.

More advantages?  No worries about personal body odour or bad breath. No uncomfortable shoes to wear, no slush, snow or rain to trod through and no gas or parking fees to fork out. Saving these costs can even allow you to take a lower wage if your expenses are largely eliminated.

You still need to mix and get to know your co-workers and having a team meeting just means you see all the faces and hear the voices on a screen rather than a boardroom table. It’s doable. You might even find you get closer to people because you work together better without the distractions in a traditional office. The other big advantage in the middle of a pandemic is you can see the faces of everyone you interact with rather than their eyes only peering over a mask.

These are just a few of the advantages of working remotely in a new job. Thanks Lorraine for asking. Last piece of advice is to get out of the pyjama bottoms in case you have to get up while on screen!

Who Have You Got On Your Team?

One of the biggest benefits to having a job is also one of the most seldom talked about; being surrounded by and connecting with other people. Even when you work independently most of the time, you’re still connected to an organization and all the people you call co-workers. If and when you want or need advice, suggestions or just plain conversation, people are there.

Looking for a job on the other hand can be extremely isolating. While a workplace provides a central gathering place for co-workers to convene, when you’re out of work altogether, there is no hub to bring people together. Only once you’ve had a job in the past and are on your own looking do you realize how important those relationships with past co-workers were.

On top of all this, the Covid-19 world-wide pandemic comes along. If you think you’ve got it bad having to connect to fellow employees and customers via video calls, amplify your feelings of isolation and have some empathy for the job seeker doing their best to maintain their mental health alone.

My opinion might differ from others, but I feel it of vital importance to assemble a team of people when you’re looking for work rather than going it entirely solo. And who should make up that team? Good question! Let’s have a look.

Cheerleaders

More important than any other team member, Cheerleaders are the people who are pulling for you, the one’s who touch base and not only ask how it’s going, they continually remind you of your skills, talents and abilities. These are the people who recall to your mind the good works you’ve done, the positive impact you’ve had on others and sometimes how you’ve helped them personally be better themselves at what they do. In short, they make you feel good about yourself in the past, the present and how your not done yet. You’re going to be successful in your job hunt. Mom, Sherry, Bella, Terri, Finuzza, Dave and Rochelle are just some of my personal cheerleaders; nobody bigger than mom.

Backers

You’ll recognize these folks better as references. In the past, they only came into play when you’d interviewed and put forward their names as people wiling to testify to your good works. These days, their powerfully kind words are found on your LinkedIn profile for all to read anytime. These are the people who back up your claims of being influential, hard-working, impactful, tireless, resourceful; whatever it is that they want to celebrate and share about you. Along with 36 others, I’m grateful for Trevor, (alias Wonder Boy who always had my back), Dawn, Adam and Jeff.

Stakeholders

These are the people who significantly share and feel the impact of your job search journey. Yes, your life partner, your children, your parents in some cases, siblings and immediate nuclear family; the ones you live with. Your financial status affects them, your mood be it stable or swinging from good to bad to great to mellow to good etc. These are the ones who keep their own fears for you suppressed so they don’t add to your stress while they bear their own. They’ll celebrate your good fortune more intensely precisely because they’ve been and will continue to be, a team member more than any of the others. Janine and Shannon get clear recognition here; thanks for never doubting.

Advisors

Not all of us tap into these people, but we should source them out and seek their counsel. These are those we tap into for advice when we’re stuck at the worst and unsure at the best. When we wonder how best to proceed, what course of action will get us the results we’re after, or wish to check on what’s the latest thing in our line of work. They might be Employment Counsellors, Job Coaches, Employment Advisors, Mentors, Guides, Trainers, Mental Health Counsellors and Guru’s. I know the critical importance of these precisely because I myself have never had one; which is my strongest motivator to be a good one.

Beneficiaries

These are the people – and I hope we all have them – who have tangibly benefited from our influence in their lives. They can best attest to our good works. They remind us of the best in us. They are better for having met us. They have products we’ve made or services we’ve provided that helped them along a little or enriched their lives in a bigger way. When it gets dark in our lives, we are reminded of these people – and sometimes by them – of how we’ve had an influence for good and we’re humbled. We know instinctively that when all the world seems to say we can’t, these people remind us that in fact, we have! Among many others, Rosiland, Rupert, Alan, Lorraine and Lisamaria.

Suddenly it’s not such a lonely road when you’re job searching. These people aren’t in our homes and physically beside us as we look for our next role. They’ve shaped us however just as we’ve shaped them; we do well to remind ourselves of their influence, their continued presence and we’re better for knowing them.

May your own job search journey be filled with cheerleaders, backers, beneficiaries, advisors and stakeholders.

We are all successful. Who are the people who make up your team?

 

Launching Yourself From A Career Rut

It doesn’t happen to everyone of course, but if it should happen to you, well, you’ll appreciate the paralysis it can bring on. I’m speaking of the dreaded Career Rut.

This is the phenomenon that occurs when you feel trapped in your job; mired in the routine of going in day after day, week after week with an absence of true passion or satisfaction in your work. It’s more than just annoying. Left unchecked, it can fester and grow, robbing you of happiness in how you spend the majority of your working day and soon becoming your prevailing worry outside of working hours. It brings on apathy and feelings of hopelessness. It steals self-esteem as you feel annoyed with yourself for not doing something about it and changes how others view you too. And physically? Make no mistake, you’ll feel aches and pains, headaches, feel overtired and sleep more to ‘turn off’.

Have you found yourself wondering more and more often, “Is this all there is?” “I don’t  know what to do with the rest of my life but it sure isn’t this.” As the days go by without a plan for change, tension rises at about the same rate your patience with others around you drops.

It’s important to get what’s at the source of the problem and accurately define it.  I mean you have to separate going through a short phase of needing some additional stimulation in your work versus that persistent, all-encompassing feeling of being stuck; unfulfilled.

Give yourself credit for one positive; there’s a problem and you’re consciously aware of it. That’s the good news. Now a question to ask of you – and it might sound trite – are you happy? Oddly enough, there are some who are quite happy to carry on going in to jobs they no longer have the least bit of satisfaction doing. They’re willing to trade personal happiness for money, benefits, seniority or vacation time. The trade off is one they rationalize as worth it and they do their best to convince themselves that this is just the reality of work; that it’s called work for a reason, that feeling motivation during your work is a joke.

Okay so if you’re not happy. The next thing to ask yourself is whether you’re willing to do more than just long for change; for change is what’s required. You can hardly expect to carry on in the same job with the same behaviour day after day and magically come to feel better about yourself. Change in such a situation is critical.

Change of course can be scary. There’s an element of risk as you move from what you know intimately to something new, and with anything new comes uncertainty. This however is about YOU; this single life you’ve got to live and spend. Maybe you’re feeling out of control; bound to carry on with your ‘responsibilities’, your ‘commitments’ and your ‘obligations’. Congratulations on being accountable.

Your choices when you’re in such a state are:

1. Do something completely different with a new organization
2. Do something similar but with a new organization
3. Do something different in the same organization
4. Quit and retire from work altogether

Doing something similar elsewhere from where you work now is fine if you determine that the role itself has appeal but the organization is what’s robbing you of your happiness. You might even take on a mentor or leadership role if you bring a great deal of experience and insight into a startup.

Quitting outright might be the answer if you’re on the cusp of retiring. However, when you’re in your 40’s, that short-term satisfaction of walking away may prove to be a delusion as you still find yourself pondering, “What to do now?”

Thinking you’re happiness might be rekindled in a new role where you work now? This is dependent on whether the company is large enough that the opportunities exist and whether or not your education and experience actually qualifies you in some other role.

So you’re left pondering the leap to another role completely and making a fresh start with another firm. Let me tell you, this is invigorating and stimulating; like jumping off the security of a dock into chilly waters. It can wake you up, jolt you out of your lethargic state and energize you.

To make a leap such as this, you’ll need to take stock of your skills, experience, interests and courage. Practically speaking, access your financial security, your comfort with risk and the impact on others where there’s family involved. Have conversations and you may find your ‘old’ self is missed and they’ll stand behind the change you’re contemplating if it brings you happiness.

As soon as possible, complete a self-inventory of likes, interests, education, experience, transferable skills and start looking with fresh eyes on jobs out there. Tap into your LinkedIn and personal network for advice and leverage these folks as a sounding board.

What you do is up to you. If and when you change and embrace the risk or remain securely locked in the rut is yours and yours alone to choose. We all evolve over time and our interests change. It’s not truly uncommon to feel the rut; but it is uncommon to actually take the initiative to do something great and save your mental health.

How I Started Networking With LinkedIn

Buy a tablet, computer or laptop these days and you’ll immediately start installing apps so you can connect to people. Buy yourself a new phone and one of the most important things you’ll do or ask the salesperson to do is transfer all your connections so you don’t lose any. We use these apps to connect to the people in our social / professional networks.

Long before we had such technology; and some readers might have difficulty imagining those days, you’d have to resort to dialing up a contact on the phone. You were limited in the people you could connect to based on who you physically met in most circumstances or to whom you were introduced by a friend or colleague.

Times certainly have changed. The world is our community; our global village as Canadian Marshal McLuhan, a Social Media Theorist, predicted. Connecting with someone in another city, another country, another continent is just as easy as connecting with someone who sits across the lunch table in your workplace. And even though we’re living in 2020 with these enormous abilities to connect, the question for many still remains, “Why would I want to?”

Why indeed. I remember my early days as a LinkedIn member. It seemed to me I had a choice back then of either cautiously sharing the bare minimum of information to protect my identity from people I didn’t know, or immerse myself in this platform and by doing so, determine if it was all it was cracked up to be. I reasoned that if I only shared the barest of information on myself with respect to my previous employment, aspirations and connected only with people I knew personally, I wouldn’t be able to confidently assert whether it was effective or not. In other words, I was setting myself up to say, “I made a profile, but I don’t use it because I don’t see any benefit in it.”

Guess what I hear a lot of people say when I ask them in 2020 if they have a LinkedIn account? “I made a profile, but I don’t use it because I don’t see any benefit in it.”

Oh I started of course connecting to people I knew personally. As I did so in those first few month’s, I remember seeing many people I didn’t know who came up as suggestions. Some were in my field, working in places near and far. It occurred to me then that I could possibly benefit from exposing myself to these colleagues working in other organizations; people in my line of work or closely related to it. So I clicked on some of the suggested contacts, and found myself welcomed by Dale and Aaaron in Australia, Gayle in Collingwood Ontario, Bonnie in Wisconsin, Don in Seattle, Martin of the UK, Rupert in New Zealand and Stephen in Ottawa. My online network was growing.

Oddly enough, one day my LinkedIn account was frozen and I was contacted by an Administrator with LinkedIn who advised me they had been alerted that I was connecting to people I didn’t personally know. What? Isn’t this how we expand our circle of acquaintances and professional colleagues? I replied with an email stating as much and honestly felt that if I was to be restricted in connecting online with people I knew personally, it was of some but little value to me. It was unfrozen immediately and I continued expanding my network.

Soon I noticed people were reaching out to me; many in careers related to mine and some with backgrounds entirely foreign to my own career path. The obvious questions I had were, “Why would they want to connect with me?” and “Why would I want to connect with them?” Valid questions. Not always, but most of the time, I accepted those connections. After all, if I connected, something good might happen and if I didn’t I guaranteed nothing would. And as an Employment Counsellor, perhaps people might be reaching out to me for support and help advancing their own careers. Well it was a possibility.

I’m glad I made all these decisions because I’ve been introduced to and met some fantastic, kind, wonderfully giving people who have stimulated my thoughts with their work and yes, some that have expressed thanks for my thoughts for which I’m grateful.

Just last week I had an online chat for 45 minutes with a very dear colleague I met through my blog and LinkedIn. It was our first actual face-to-face conversation where we heard and saw each other. Guess what? It was beautiful. It was like that friend you speak to once in a blue moon and pick up right where you left off in the middle of a conversation; easily and naturally. Bella is a talented, highly skilled and considerate person; a valued connection I’d never have the pleasure of having in my network if I hadn’t made the decision to connect with her years ago when we were unknown to each other.

My advice is to network. It’s how we learn, how we grow and how we help others. It’s not called SOCIAL media by accident.

What’s your experience been? Have you met someone for whom you’re grateful? Someone you’d otherwise not know?

Job Searching During Covid-19

Looking for work under normal circumstances is challenging. There’s resumes and cover letters to write, people to find and network with, interviews to prepare for and attend, traveling costs, phone calls to make and of course lots of time spent in front of a computer monitor trying to find the right jobs in the first place. That sounds like an exhausting process to undertake – especially when exactly how long you’ll be in job search mode isn’t known.

Now throw in the Covid-19 pandemic. Remember when it was just beginning? Nobody knew (or knows) exactly the length of time this pandemic would or will run. Will it be over by the end of this year or drag on well into 2021?

Living through 2020 hasn’t been easy for most people. Even if you’ve remained healthy, you’ve been forced to make changes to your every day routines. Shopping more online and using curbside pickups, having dental and optical appointments postponed, seeing your doctor over a computer monitor, more home cooking and far less eating out. And missing family. With every change, there’s a hit to your mental health; just another small stressor that forces you to adapt from your norm.

It’s scary for many to think of job searching at the best of times. If you’ve lost your job in 2020 however, you’ve likely felt it harder to reverse your fortunes and find employment. Why? Well, you either fear exposing yourself to people you don’t know who could transmit the virus to you, or you’ve had to learn how to meet and be interviewed over a computer screen.

Having had conversations with some unemployed people, I’ve found some put off the job search in the Spring because they thought the pandemic would be over quick. Why risk exposure? Then it dragged into the summer and these unemployed people ‘took the summer off’ to enjoy what they could. Don’t judge them too harshly; it may have preserved their mental health. With the rising numbers now in the fall, those same out-of-work folks are writing off 2020 entirely and looking to job search in 2021.

Some readers will feel that these unemployed people are likely the kind of people who are looking for excuses not to job search; and the pandemic is convenient. Like I mentioned earlier though, I can understand that protecting one’s mental health as well as one’s physical health is what they feel they are doing. To be blunt, people have died; a lot of people have died. Being out of work is pretty small compared with exposing oneself to a deadly virus and leaving loved ones behind for a new job at minimum wage.

Yet, despite the world-wide pandemic, people are looking for and finding work; employers are still advertising, interviewing and bringing new employees on board. The prudent thing is to be responsible and smart as you job search or hire. Take the time to look and you’ll see business owners being extremely mindful of increasing their safety measures. Hand sanitizer and facial masks are the new norms now, as is the 6 foot distancing rule. Handshakes are out, and while it’s taken some getting used to, we demonstrate that we are in fact a higher species when we adapt without exaggerating, “how simply impossibly inconvenient” these new norms are.  Those that complain about having to put on a mask to enter a store to shop for 10 minutes should try working as an employee and wearing a mask for a 7 hour shift.

Job seekers have had to learn how to use Zoom, Teams or Skype and mobile phones are no longer luxuries but mandatory items of business. Working remotely has happened in companies where it would not have been thought possible less than 6 month’s ago. Adapt or go under.

Those who do job search at this time are doing so in innovative ways, networking via LinkedIn and WhatsApp. Can you imagine the problems we’d all have had the pandemic hit when we had no cell phones? It sounds ironic and odd, but in some ways I believe we’re closer to people than we were before the pandemic. Truly, we care more, we reach out more and we collaborate more in remote team meetings etc.

Maybe we’re healthier too? With less cars on the road, maybe we get out to ride bikes or take walks more often. Maybe we take in the sun in our backyards while in team meetings rather than sitting congregated in office spaces without windows.

There are advantages to seize if you’re job searching if you look for them. When you are interviewed, you can have all kinds of resources on your desk that you couldn’t take to an interview. You’re in the sanctity of your own home and you never have to worry about wind-blown hair or excessively sweating in scorching sun before arriving for your interview.

You have to decide for yourself when it’s the right time for you to job search. Just saying, “Not now when there’s a pandemic” isn’t good enough though, because people – a lot of people – are having success doing so. Whether it’s right for you personally is another thing and it’s okay if now isn’t the right time. On the other hand, being safe as you job search has always been good advice whatever the year and whatever the circumstances.

Take care people.

 

Student Placements Work

One of the inevitable truths for every business in every employment sector is that there will be changes in personnel. Over time, people come and go, and if you’re fortunate, the people you bring onboard will make a positive impact on both the others they work with and the customers/clients which receive the end products or services they deliver.

Changes in personnel is undoubtedly the biggest area of concern for any organization. When you bring the right people onboard and they turn out to be invested and committed to the company, an organization can succeed and flourish as the owners or stewards envision. However, the opposite is also true, as discovering the people you’ve invested in are liabilities rather than assets can set an organization back, in some cases even tarnish an organization so severely it ceases to exist.

Hiring therefore, becomes the single most important factor in the success of an organization. Employer’s do what they can to ensure those doing the interviewing and making personnel decisions understand this, and they in turn do their best to ensure those hired understand and share similar values, beliefs, and goals. The more someone aligns with these on a personal level, the greater the likelihood that they’ll add to an organization, meeting the employer’s expectations.

The reality is however that businesses must evolve over time in response to societal needs and end user preferences, and that evolution may require new thinking, fresh ideas and if done right, these allow businesses to flourish. It’s a delicate balance to maintain core values and beliefs upon which an organization was built, yet respond to changes in the market which keep traditional customers while attracting new ones to it.

When it goes wrong, you hear comments like, “People just don’t care anymore”, Things aren’t like they used to be”, or, “Where did customer service go?” These comments and others like them, are indicators of regret for what’s changed and a longing for what was.” Given choice, customers may depart from their unwavering loyalty to a brand or organization and seek to have their needs met elsewhere; the biggest concern for a business. And these days, every business has many competitors working hard to grow their own customer base.

So it comes down to having the right people; not only on the front line, but also in middle and upper management. Hire the right people, and they in turn develop the culture, add to the overall value of an organization; safeguarding a businesses integrity and assuring both employees and the public that things are in good hands.

Where I work, my colleagues and I have the good fortune to host university placement students throughout the year. As we’re in the Social Services field, the students we bring on board are from this discipline. They themselves may have personal goals to work in specific areas such as Addictions, Poverty Reduction, Mental Health Counselling, Child Welfare, etc., and they may or may not be considering remaining in school beyond getting their degrees to obtain their Masters.

I really enjoy having these students around. They bring enthusiasm, energy and optimism with them as they are eager to learn and want to make the most of their experience while with us. I think it’s incumbent upon us who act as hosts to do what we can to mentor and support these students as they transition into the workforce fulltime in the near future. Sharing what we do is one thing but of greater importance is sharing the philosophy behind what we do and how we are unique. When they learn and hopefully value the similar values we hold, they have a greater appreciation for those values and are far less likely to innocently act in some way which lessens the user experience.

Now on any team, you’ll find that while everyone is working towards common organizational goals, individuals have unique strengths, areas of expertise and it’s these differences which add to the overall team identity. Hence it only makes sense that staff will provide varying levels of direction to students; some taking on formal responsibilities to guide, train and support a student, others providing encouragement, expressing thanks and having less direct involvement in their individual learning goals.

My trust that the future is in good hands is pretty high when I look at the quality of students about to enter the field. Academic intelligence is highly valued of course, but honestly, what I look for most is personal suitability. Are they caring? Do they demonstrate a receptiveness to growing empathy for the population we serve? Are they compassionate, responsive and willing to seize opportunities to assist and support those who need support and understanding more than anything?

Like I said, I’m feeling pretty good about our students and hopefully my colleagues and I have done enough to train them and expose them to our work in such a way that they benefit from the experiences we share with them. I suppose one thing as placements draw to their inevitable conclusion is whether or not we’ve fed their desire to work in the field; possibly even with us not as a student but as a full-time colleague.

Wherever they end up, playing a small part in shaping their thoughts and actions by sharing our own, hopefully puts the future in good hands.

 

 

Should We Spread Our Joy?

Let me just get my answer out there. OF COURSE!

Sometimes I meet people who are traditionally happy and joyous throughout the year, but who, for reasons of not wanting to upset other people, suddenly downplay their natural positivity in the month of December. As I say, these are the kind of people who are naturally upbeat, positive and happy. Having empathy for others who may not be going through the best of times around December, and Christmas in particular, they go against their nature and act subdued.

I believe there’s another line of thinking which justifies sharing our own happiness and joy with whomever we interact. This is the act of being true to ourselves, and if that means our actions, words, tone of voice, smiling faces and overall positivity is in stark contrast to some others, it can have a startling affect.

For starters, being positive can uplift people. After all, do you want to be around people who are gloomy, sullen and suck energy or would you rather choose to be around people who energize you, make you smile,  bring you happiness just by being in their midst? These are the very people Scrooge once said, “…should be boiled in his own Christmas pudding”; the ones who go around wishing everyone a merry Christmas.

Now I’ve also heard the argument that because unemployed and impoverished people are affected so greatly by the season, which often accentuates their feelings of want and need, we should scale back on spreading our personal joy. Well, again, I disagree. I’m not insensitive, it’s just that being impoverished or out of work doesn’t automatically mean a person must go around looking down. In fact, some of the happiest and most positive people I’ve met live in poverty. They aren’t happy about their financial status of course, but they’ve realized that their financial status is only one part of their lives. There are many other facets of their lives which bring them joy. Why allow this one area to dominate who they are and how they view themselves? They choose happiness and positivity.

Yes, I’d rather be known as a fellow who wears a smile, stays positive and is good to be around than the opposite. Of course yes, one has to exercise some good judgement here too. When someone is talking about their bleak situation and out of politeness asks how I’m doing, I wouldn’t go over the top telling them about plans to have some big extravagant party to celebrate the season or how my investments were tripling my income. (They aren’t by the way; oh to be so lucky!)

No, I’d exercise some decorum; show some restraint in what to share, but I’d still have a smile on my face and tell them in answer to their question that I was just fine and thank them for asking.

The second argument I make for being positive, happy and merry is that it reminds people of what is possible when they may have forgotten. Don’t assume this is a given. Sometimes when we lose what we once had, we all need reminding of it’s value and in the case of happiness, merriment and positivity, they can all come again; for everyone.

When I’ve worked Christmas eve at work, those making the choice to drop in to our employment resource centre are typically either in for solace and sanctuary or to wish us the greetings of the season; a very merry Christmas. If they can do so, I certainly will wish them nothing but the same; that they too find merriment and happiness both then and the year ’round. Sometimes we’ve sat down not as clients and staff, but as people – (a rather significant distinction) and shared a drink, a bite or two and some laughs.

Being poor doesn’t mean one must by association be of any one mood. You’ll find sadness, regret, joy and happiness, neutrality and the entire gambit of emotions. Why? Why precisely because the opposite is true. Among the wealthy you won’t universally find decadence, happiness, positivity and an entire void of stress. It isn’t money that brings happiness; it’s within us to be what we choose to be – that which makes us feel as we choose.

I will continue to positive, be happy and be joyous. Don’t think me insensitive, don’t attempt to shame me into being anything I’m genuinely not. My smile is there for anyone that chooses to see it as an outward expression of my state of mind. I also find that a smile on one face tends to bring one out on another. The opposite is also true by the way..

So do I wish you a merry Christmas on this fourth of December? Do I hope you have the best day possible? Do I trust you find happiness this day and each other day? YES!

By the way, ever been served by someone in the course of conducting some business who is robotic? You know, they do their job but there’s no human emotion, no smile, no genuine appreciation for your business. Have you not thought to yourself, “It wouldn’t hurt you to smile a little?” Ah, you have? Then you understand entirely and you get it. Good for you.

Be that beacon of happiness, that one person who goes about their work with a smile and is genuinely appreciative of others. It will work wonders for your mental health.

You’ve Been Fired. Now What?

So you’ve been fired. Two questions if I may. Did you see it coming or was a complete shock? Secondly, does it come as a relief now that you’re no longer employed or would you go back there if you could? These two questions are important because both get at where your mind is my friend, and your thinking is probably not at it’s clearest right now.

Sometimes you see it coming as a distinct possibility or probability. It still stings when it happens of course, but it was looming. Maybe it was a poor performance review or a warning. Could be you hadn’t got past probation or weren’t hitting sales targets. In any event, the writing was on the wall and you even started taking personal possessions home with you in anticipation of this very thing. If this is your situation, you could even feel a sense of relief because the strain of going to work and wondering if this would be the day they let you go has been mentally exhausting.

On the other hand, when things are going well, you’re well-liked and you feel blindsided by your firing, it can stop you cold. In fact, you’ll feel pretty numb with the news, in severe shock and disbelief. When caught off guard, you’re at risk of soon doubting anything and everything around you because you don’t want to be similarly surprised again. This isn’t a healthy attitude but it’s an understandable reaction to the news.

We’re built different you know; some of us would just get back out there the next day, while for others, a lengthy period needs to elapse before starting to look for work again. The length of this period will depend on 4 things: 1) whether you see this parting as an opportunity, 2) if it was anticipated as a possibility, probability or complete blindside 3) the length of employment, 4) your personal resources and supports.

When the news first hits you’ll undoubtedly have felt shock. A few seconds earlier, you were an employee and now you’re not. There’s that, “What to do?” feeling as the news is received. Sometimes you get the news outside of work; a phone call, email, text etc. This might sound unbelievable to some of you, but yes, a text. More often, it’s in person. There’s the dreaded walk out and you’re not only dealing with this terrible news, you live this walk of shame by your now former colleagues without the chance to slip out quietly.

Maybe though, this job was actually getting in the way of you moving forward. It was holding you back because it was comfortable. This parting is somewhat liberating and needed but resigning is something you likely wouldn’t have done on your own. In such a case, your mind can turn to what’s ahead more readily than others perhaps. Now you can get back to the field you were trained in or turn to something you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because you had this job you had to go to every day. And if you really disliked the work you did, it was a long commute, the co-workers weren’t anything you’ll miss etc., yes, it can be liberating.

Generally speaking, most people need a mental break. While being unemployed isn’t what you’d choose, rushing out to get a job the same day somewhere else may not be the best action. It’s important to balance your need for income and purpose with your need to clear your mind. Any feelings of bitterness, anger, revenge, failure, sorrow and regret need to come out and be addressed. You my friend, need a period of grieving for your loss. Depending on your financial health and resources, you might need to immediately tighten your belt and think twice about all your purchases. Then again, some people have been known to take a vacation and realign their frame of mind.

So many factors now to consider. Where are you on the age spectrum? Is not working at all as you’re so close to retirement attractive? How’s your health? Is this something you can now concentrate on improving? Are you the only income earner or do you have a secondary source of income that can soften this blow?

Yes you’ll want to update the resume but before you do this, it’s rather important to know whether you’re competing in the same field for a similar role elsewhere or are you heading in a new direction and therefore need to overhaul the focus of your resume?

Something to consider is who to tell. Many don’t want friends, former colleagues and family to know. Keeping silent until you land a job might either protect your dignity or result in missed opportunities. The sooner people know you’re looking and what you’re looking for, the greater the likelihood that your network might come up with opportunities to explore.

Some general advice then? Eat healthy, get some regular exercise – even a morning and afternoon walk to clear your mind. Avoid turning to drugs and alcohol as an escape. Do little things that will make you feel good; even doing the dishes can ease your mind when you look at the kitchen.  Make sure you apply immediately for any employment benefits you may be entitled to as they start when you apply, NOT when you stopped working.

Lose bitterness; it’s not attractive. This too shall pass.

An Example Of Shifting Perspective

Last week I made preparations to lead a one week workshop on the fundamentals of looking for work. One week, twelve participants. I prepared for it as I would any other workshop; gathered the necessary supplies including handouts, notebooks, pens, notepads and made sure I had all the refreshments stocked and ready to receive. As I left work Friday afternoon, I looked over a room that was neat, welcoming, fully stocked and felt good. That feeling of being prepared allowed me to spend the weekend enjoying it fully, rather than feeling some growing anxiety about all the things I’d have to do upon arriving to work Monday.

So there I was, opening the doors to the room at 9:15 a.m. and hoping that in the next 15 minutes, 12 bodies would walk through the door. I say hoping rather than expecting, because history has told me that in most situations, a full house is seldom the case. Well, as it turned out, two of the twelve showed up. A third person came on the off chance there was an opening and so he was admitted too. 3 people, 1 week.

Now yes, I know that life happens. What I mean by this is that in the lives of the people I support, many face multiple barriers to employment. Many have dysfunctional families, physical and mental health issues, some just have poor decision-making skills, weak problem-solving abilities and so yes, some are on social assistance because they do not have the necessary skills yet to be successful.

Three is disappointing. However, what an opportunity for the three who did show up! I mean, they’ve got an enthusiastic and knowledgeable Employment Counsellor for a week to split between them instead of having an additional nine people to share me with. By the way, being excited for the three present rather than focusing on the nine absent is a shift in focus I want to stress. It’s so easy to be disappointed and let it show which can rob those present of your enthusiasm and passion. Unintentionally, you run the risk of making those who did show up feel less than worth your time.

Now sure I communicated to the staff who made those referrals to the program who showed up and who did not. It’s their role to follow up and determine next steps for the non-attendees after hearing why they failed to show. My focus is on the three.

It’s not always like this of course. Last month I taught a two week class on the basics of using the computer. For that class, fourteen showed up for a class that could only accommodate twelve people. Twelve started and twelve finished with perfect attendance. That was a special group of people; as is every class.

Without knowing the reasons why, it’s easy to make assumptions why people fail to show up for classes that are free, supportive, fun and beneficial. In addition to learning subject matter which helps them move towards self-sufficiency and financial independence, they receive additional funding for transportation, networking, sometimes funds for suitable clothing and/or grooming too. Then there’s the social engagement; connecting with others in similar situations and feeling less isolated. And in the case of this workshop, job searching support; a stronger resume and cover letter, help with preparing for an anticipated interview too. All free.

I’m not angry lest you think I am. No never angry.  I suppose I’m just disappointed. I know the opportunity missed to get all the benefits I’ve mentioned above. I understand the circumstances in which these people live and the pressures they are under. I get the stress that sets them up to make decisions I’d not make myself, and I know sometimes they have every intention on coming but they mix up a date or forget about it until it’s too late. I know they have childcare issues, they have poor health in many circumstances; a consequence of not being able to eat healthy foods as often as they should. I understand they don’t all have strong accountability either, both to themselves and others. You see I get all this.

I’m allowed to feel what I feel though too; disappointed. Disappointed for them not me. It took me no time at all to gather up what became excess supplies. That’s the least of my concern. A very busy week for me, constructing or revamping twelve resumes and writing twelve cover letters got a whole lot easier with only three. The energy I was prepared to expel shifting between twelve people with varying career/employment goals was going to be substantially more than it is now too.

Yes my job got easier – substantially easier. You’d think that as I’m getting paid the exact same wages for three as I would for twelve that I should be ecstatic. Ah, but I’m not. Now, my disappointment isn’t so deep that I’m walking around with a long face and moaning about things. Far from it my reader. I’m happy and invested in the three I do have. I can actually accomplish more for these three than I would have otherwise and we’ll have many more significant conversations.

For a time though, I’m permitted to consider the ??? that goes with the missing participants.

I’m thankful for what I have, not consumed with what I don’t. Hey, that’s  good enough for me and worth reminding myself of.