Communicating Without Saying A Word


Whether you’re unemployed and looking for a job or employed, your non-verbal body language is sending out all kinds of information to those within eyesight. What message you’re sending is entirely up to you of course; but pay no attention to ensuring the message you’re sending is the one you want to communicate and your lack of attention to this could harm you in ways you haven’t considered.

Even noticed the difference in how people move when walking? If you’re looking for a low-key but profitable way to spend your lunch hour, sit down with your lunch in a public space and people watch. Follow several passersby’s with your eyes – not just the handsome or cute ones! – and as you do so, be aware of the assumptions you’re making. When you see someone ambling along at a leisurely pace, their hands in their pockets, how do you perceive them? They don’t seem in a hurry to be anywhere.

Contrast the above with the person you see enter your view who is moving at an accelerated pace compared to others around them. They are walking briskly with one arm swinging at their side and the other clutching something that could be a document folder. Their head is up as they walk, looking for the clearest path in front of them, their eyes focused on what’s ahead of them. Again, what’s your brain communicating to you about them with little else to go on?

Did you assign a gender to either of the two examples above? Did you picture the first one with hand in their pockets to be dressed down from the second one hustling from point A to point B? Did you see the first person as enjoying the sunshine, making the most of their personal time on their lunch hour? Of the second, did you picture them still on the clock, obviously not on their lunch even though you’re on yours? Did the brisk walker seem to move with purpose while the ambling, leisurely movement of the first suggest at the moment they were in control of their time and what to do with it?

How you move says a lot to others who likewise make inferences about what you’re doing, your level of activity, the urgency or lack of it in how you’re going about things at the moment.

Now earlier I’d said jokingly that you should look at all people not just the handsome or cute ones. Think on that now though; what is it about how people dress, the way they move, the attention or lack of it that they take to their personal grooming, their facial expressions, etc., that attracts us to them? When we find ourselves drawn to someone do we sometimes also give them positive attributes and think positively about them before they’ve even uttered a word? Similarly, if we find ourselves disinterested or even negatively affected by someone on first sight, do we likewise perceive them negatively before they’ve opened their mouth to speak?

Our body language communicates much about us. We can seem dominant, defiant, submissive, reclusive, introverted, outrageously confident and non-conformist etc. In the clothes we wear, the tattoos and body piercings we may or may not have on display, the attention we put into our makeup, hairstyles, shoes on our feet etc.; everything about us communicates to others.

So all of this is important to acknowledge and understand when it comes to those times in our lives when making impressions on others is important to us. The job interview, meeting the potential in-laws, the date on Saturday night, your appearance in court, your friend’s wedding, the prom, spiritual gatherings, lounging at the golf club or yoga studio; we never stop communicating to others and all of it non-verbal.

The good news of course is that with some thought and attention, we are largely in control of the non-verbal communication we send out, hopeful that it is received by others in the way that is consistent with our intended message. Are you going for, ‘confident’, ‘professional’, ‘casually comfortable and relaxed’? Sometimes of course you may be told in advance how to dress. An invitation to a party might say that formal wear is in or the person setting up the interview over the phone might tell you that business casual is expected.

The best time to put some thought into your clothing and the image you want to communicate to others through your body language is always the same – now! When you know the kind of work you are interested in, you can safely predict with a high degree of accuracy the kind of clothing you’d like for a future interview. Now might be the best time then to get out and get that clothing together while you’re relaxed and not distracted with the pressure and stress of preparing for an actual one in a couple of days.

Be it a skirt or dress, formal suit, shirt and tie, getting things now – or at the very least budgeting now to acquire these items as you can afford them, will pay off when you go to the closet and they are there at the ready.

Remember, you’re in full control of the messages you communicate to others simply by entering their visual proximity. Best to make sure you give some thought now to how you want to be perceived.

 

No Applications? No Interviews. No Job. Simple.


The best way to get a 100% guarantee that employers will continue to reject and decline to offer you interviews is to stop applying for jobs altogether. Do this and you’ll be done with frustration, stress and the cycle of applying with hope only to taste the acrid bitterness of rejection; then to reapply again with optimism etc. Yes, give it up now and escape from voluntarily setting yourself up for ongoing disappointment.

Of course if you follow that opening advice, you’ll have a lot of time on your hands. Time that initially will seem like a wave of relief washing over you. After all, no more scouring the internet and job boards for minimum wage, entry-level jobs. No more fruitless networking meetings, resumes to tailor to specific jobs, no more need for LinkedIn; the freedom to post online whoever you are, whatever you want without a thought or care about who sees what. No more emails to send, nor the need to be checking your phone for possible invitations that never come. What a relief indeed!

The downside of course is that all this free time doesn’t exactly stop your brain from wandering back to thoughts of employment. Without a job or even looking for one, you’ve got about 7 hours a day, 35 hours a week, 140 hours a month etc. that you wouldn’t have if you were working. How many of those hours are you going to fill productively doing other things? Reading, traveling, exercising, watching television, fixing things around the home; all good in their own way, but for how long are these things going to keep bringing you the happiness they do now?

The most obvious stress for many is where does the money materialize from to allow you to keep living where you do now? There’s the rent or mortgage, food, utilities, repairs, transit, clothing, your morning jolt of caffeine. What about entertainment, unexpected expenses, illnesses, new glasses, dental visits, prescriptions, the virus protection on the laptop that needs renewing? Just a small list… So you start getting frugal if you haven’t already; thinking strategically about what you can do without; what you’re willing to sacrifice. That gets stressful after awhile doesn’t it? I mean, saying you’ll do without item B because you won’t give up item A only to find that in two month’s time your ‘must have’ item A is something you have to part with to keep item C. This is living?

Sometimes all these decisions just seem overwhelming right? Sure they do. This is when some people turn to self-medication which never really seems to have much of a lasting affect. Oh for a while they shift your thinking and provide short-term relief. In the long-run however the medications wear off and you’re back dealing with the original thoughts and you’ve added the lower self-worth and need for self-medication to your list of things to be disappointed with in yourself.

The thing about stressing while in a job search is that you’ve got one thing to hold on to that makes the frustration of a job search worth the effort; there’s the hope of success. Get into the interview stage when you’ve had a rough time even having your applications acknowledged and you’re making progress. Have a good interview or two and you feel the momentum building. Build on the momentum and you find your making the short-list; getting down to the last cuts. Get the job and all that frustration leading up to this moment suddenly becomes worthwhile. You appreciate the job more when you get it, you experience a moment of gratitude and appreciation for what it took to get you there.

All those expressions about putting in the hard work to get what you want, keeping your eyes focused on the destination or anything worth having is worth working for etc. suddenly have real meaning. You earned this one.

Gone are the days when many people got the first job they applied to or jobs just dropped into their laps without really even looking. Gone are the times when your good looks, natural charm, sexy clothing or mom could get you the job just for the asking. Well for most of us; there are still some regressive employers who still hire sexy, but think about it; do you really want to work for a person who hired you based on that? What are you setting yourself up for in the future? Get hired based on merit, job-specific and transferable skills, experience and you’re better off.

Don’t give up, give in, lose hope, listen to pessimism and grind your job search to a halt. Stick with your quest for employment and apply for jobs. Do your best to keep that positive outlook but allow yourself to be human and acknowledge the disappointment and frustration that a prolonged job search can bring. You can simultaneously be disappointed with progress but optimistic that you’ll eventually succeed.

Athletes have trainers, coaches and rely heavily on those who have previously achieved success to mentor them. Why not follow the same formula when you’re after something you ultimately want too? Seeking support while job searching, having a professional coach instruct you in how to be most effective and then having the discipline and intelligence to actually follow the advice you’re given with a commitment to your own improvement is exactly what successful people do.

Of course there’s always the alternative…

 

Thinking Of Returning To School?


If you are one of the many people who are finding that landing a job is difficult at present, one of the things you might be thinking of is returning to school to further your education. This could be just the remedy you need or a colossal waste of your time and money, resulting in kick-starting your career or leaving you saddled with debt and still with no job. Yikes! Isn’t that your biggest fear!?

Debt; four simple letters which together could find you with a poor credit rating, affecting your future ability to buy a car, a house, even land a job with some organizations. Just the thought of going to school and investing a year or more of your precious time only to have the possibility you could emerge still in the same situation with no job prospects? Why it’s enough to drive a person crazy!

Hang on a minute. Let’s look at this rationally and objectively. Take a breath; a deep one that fills your lungs and then exhale. Do it again. Better? Okay, let’s begin. Oh and I should add that I have no vested interests in any educational institution.

Supposing that as our premise, you are finding it difficult to get job interviews and when you do, you’re not getting job offers. It could be that there are too many people with the same qualifications as you, and in addition, some of your competition have added education. The decision to head on back to school and may be exactly the right decision if employers in your field place a high value on extra education, or you learn they view your education as out-of-date.

Could be that your degree from 1981 is now of questionable value, or in a field like technology where advances come often and quickly, you’re losing out to new grads. If you have been able to narrow down what course or training you’re lacking that is holding you back, then returning to the classroom to get it is wisdom my friend. Don’t even read the rest of this article; get up and go register now!

Another solid reason for more education is if you have come to a point in your life where a completely different career is in order. You’ve grown and with aging you’ve found you have new interests; interests which you’d like to pursue as a career and your current education doesn’t qualify you to compete. Same advice, quit reading and contact the College or University and get yourself registered.

There is another kind of situation you might be in which could also have you considering the classroom as an option. You might not be at all sure what kind of work you’d like to do. Returning to school would cocoon you from the world of work for 2-3 years while you pursued a degree or diploma.  Couldn’t hurt at any rate to add some letters to the end of your name, and hopefully you’d figure it out in that time.

Well it’s not up to me to say one way or the other but generally I’d say all education is worthwhile. It will add to your resume and maybe some time in a placement applying those skills could indeed spark a real interest you then pursue and life all works out beautifully. That money you owe when you graduate isn’t debt at all but rather an investment you’ve made in your mind and your future. Well done!

However, that time you spend in a classroom could actually prove harmful. If you graduate and then don’t feel inspired to look for work doing what you went back to school to learn, that money you spent might actually just be plain old debt; with you no closer to knowing what to do with your working life.

A good idea perhaps is before investing your time and money in school, interview some people doing the work you might be doing upon graduation. Pick their brain, find out what they really do and ask yourself if you’d be happy in a similar position? Ask the employers you’d be asking to hire you when you graduate if they prefer graduates from certain schools or programs. Not much point happily going to school somewhere only to graduate and then find employers don’t value what you received or the institution you got it from isn’t recognized.

One thing is for sure; don’t return to school just to hide from work. If you’re not sure what to do, spend some time working in several jobs. Invest a year – maybe two or three actually – doing a number of jobs finding out what you like and what you don’t.  You choose what goes on a future resume anyhow, so don’t fret about job hopping; you’re on a mission of discovery.

Going back to school is a wise decision which will improve the way you think, make you more competitively employable and give you an edge. However, upgrading your education and then finding out you’re eventually working in a job you could have got three years ago without your new degree might be a waste of time or just part of your education in the game of Life. Depends on your attitude and how you view things.

Best advice if you’re on the fence? Make a decision either way, and make it NOW; the stress of not deciding isn’t helpful. You’re on the clock.

How To Stick Around In The New Job


Frustrated with trying to keep a job once you get hired but it seems over and over they let you go before your probation is up? Not getting the kind of results you’d hoped for? It could be one thing or a combination of things that’s preventing you from sticking with a company and having them stick with you. If you could put your finger on exactly where you’re not being competitive it would certainly improve your chances.

So to help out, I’ve put together a list of things to keep in mind as you go about work in those early days on the job. Remember this is a general list of ideas and please feel free to add to this list with ideas of your own that you’ve found effective.

  1. Enthusiasm. For a long time now, employers have stated over and over that the people they hire must show some degree of enthusiasm or passion for the work to be done. You demonstrate enthusiasm with a positive attitude, investing yourself in learning the job, showing up on time, putting in the effort while you’re working to increase your productivity.

2. Interpersonal Skills. Most jobs these days require contact with others including co-workers, customers, supervisors, etc. When you work you become a part of a business that others are continually working hard to establish and build a reputation on. So even if you’re not naturally a people-person, to ultimately be successful work on being friendly, find your smile, initiate contact with a warm greeting and generally just be nice.

3. Commit To Learning. When you’re hired, congratulations are in order. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking the hard work is done. It’s now up to you to learn what you need to know as quickly as you can to become fully productive. When first hired, that organization puts money into training you – even if you can’t see it. They may assign someone to show you the ropes and if they do, not only are you not producing fully yet, neither is the person who is training you in addition to the work they’d normally be doing full-time.

4. Be Accountable. Employer’s want people who will show up when scheduled a few minutes early, then actually do the work they are being paid to do. When you stand or sit around and waste time, from their point of view you’re dead weight and stealing money by being unproductive while still expecting your salary. When no one is watching, do what you should be doing and do it with some pride.

5. Make The Investment. Do more than just work hard; work with intelligence. In other words, this is an opportunity for you to gain some useful and current experience. It may not be your forever job or dream job. So what? You applied, you got hired and now you’re an employee. Invest yourself in their business and at the same time you’re investing in yourself by learning something new, improving your existing skills and becoming more competitively attractive.

6. It’s NOT about you. Employers tell me they just don’t understand why it is that many of the people they hire seem to have this attitude that the employer somehow owes them something. When you work with an organization you should be thinking about what you can do to contribute your skills, ideas, energy and experience and not expecting to walk in one day and the next week ask for a raise. This kind of behaviour shows a real lack of understanding for the business, your own worth to the employer and the other employees who have worked there longer than you. Make it about the employer and you’ll generally benefit too.

7. Be Respectful. This is huge! That organization does things the way they do for a reason. Unless they specifically hired you for your innovative and creative ideas, keep your thoughts to yourself and learn how they do things. It could take up to a year for you to fully understand what they do and why they do it. Sometimes what they do in April differs from what they do in March, and you’ll have to stick around a full year to experience that activity if you were hired in the month of April. Respect the processes in place.

8. Leave Your Issues At The Door. Over time people in the company will want to get to know you better and they’ll take a personal interest perhaps in your life outside of work. However, in the beginning, it’s good advice to leave any personal problems and challenges outside the door when you show up for work. Focus your energy on the job you’re getting paid to do. Problems with your girlfriend, the landlord, your unpaid parking fines and health issues aren’t nearly as interesting to others as you think they are; don’t be a distraction.

9. Positive Attitude. Show up with a heavy, brooding attitude and you won’t last long. People like being surrounded by others who are generally upbeat and positive. A smile, saying “Hello and good morning” doesn’t take that much effort. If you work with the public, thank people for their business or their interest in the business. If you work with others, the odd word of thanks for helping you out while you get settled goes a long way.

All the best everyday!

 

 

“What Should I Do? What Should I Be?”


Find yourself pondering the BIG question; “What do I want out of Life?” You know, trying to decide your purpose, your career goal; that ‘thing’ you were destined to do and be great at. I wonder if the answer doesn’t lie so much in wondering what you want to get out of Life as it does in pondering what you’re ready to put INTO your life.

A clever play on words? A change in philosophy? Maybe just some pseudo-psychological babble? Or perhaps – just perhaps mind – we’re on to something here. Worth exploring before dismissing or embracing? Absolutely.

Some seem to have it all figured out don’t they? I mean they fixed on their career goal as a child or young teenager and stuck to the plan. They went to school, graduated, started in an entry-level position and years later they are still energized in their work. They never really had to struggle with indecision, doubt or distraction. They stayed true to their goal and never wavered and it all turned out great.

Not everybody has that experience. For many, what to do with their life is a recurring theme. Time and time again they stand at a crossroads wondering what to do, which direction to go in, what might hold the answer to the their happiness. They move from job to job, stimulated with the new challenges each brings, but always finding themselves looking for another job; one that brings them something their current job lacks. Some live this way intentionally because it works for them. Nothing wrong with that if it works.

The most dangerous situation when pondering the big, “What is the meaning of my Life?” question, is putting living on hold to the point of paralysis. In other words, it’s a good and healthy exercise to pause occasionally and check where you’re going and if your current destination is still the right goal for you or not. However, stand fixed to a spot afraid to move for fear of making the wrong choice for too long and you can become immobilized while Time itself ticks on.

This then is the source of the pressure and stress for many isn’t it? Sure it is. You hear it in statements like, “I’m not getting any younger you know”, or “Time and tide wait for no man”. The older we get the more we feel the pressure to have figured it out too. By the way, as it relates to figuring out what to do with Life: you’ve never been as old as you are at this precise moment in time. As each second and minute, day and week go by, you age and again you’ve never been that old before. So whether you’re 29, 38, 49 or 62 you might just be wondering, “What should I be doing with my life?”,  or “What’ my great plan?” and that’s okay to ponder. It won’t be the last time you think about it likely either.

Maybe as I said earlier, the key is thinking more about what you want to invest in Life; with the time you’ve got and the resources you have. If you’re a people person and you find yourself infused with energy when you’re helping or cooperating with others, it’s likely you’ll gain great satisfaction out of doing more of that kind of work. If you’re positively stimulated and happiest when solving what others see as problems, perhaps investing yourself in honing your problem-solving skills is the key for you. So do you want to fix home plumbing issues, computer problems, work to discover a cure for a disease or solve mysteries of our universe? All problems to work on, but requiring very unique skills.

Very little in Life that has real meaning and really importance comes without a personal investment. Just as you can’t take money out of a bank without investing your money in it first, you can’t expect Life to dish out all the great things it has to offer unless you immerse yourself in it.

For some, this immersion means travel; see the world, broaden your horizon’s. For others, it means go to school, improve and expand your mind. For you? Who knows? Maybe it’s auditioning job after job in a variety of fields, determining what you like and like better until you arrive at whatever it is you’d like to do for a long time. You can always re-evaluate in the future what is right for you at that point too. No need to lay a fixed course for your next 75 years when you’re 10 years old.

Ever notice how this same ‘investing first’ mentality gets passed over in other areas of life? You might hear one person ask another, “So what are you looking for in a spouse?” You rarely hear that person say, “So what are you ready to invest in a relationship?” The question you get asked or ask of yourself tends to direct the answer you give. “I want or expect” versus, “I’ll give or invest…”

You get what you put in. Is that it? We’re all different, looking for different outcomes, searching for what sparks our happiness. The good news I believe is that there is no single thing we were destined to alone; you’ve probably got what it takes to find meaning and fulfillment in many things in Life; your job(s) being just one of them. Thoughts?

 

Reflecting On 1st Impressions


Talk to anyone about an upcoming job interview and you’re likely going to be reminded to make a positive first impression. Mention you’ve got an important meeting coming up with people you’ve never met before and you get the same advice; you’ve got to make a strong first impression.

The first impression we have on others is so critical to our ultimate success whether it’s landing a job we really want, getting the nod of approval from the parents of the person we’re dating, finding a place to buy your groceries in a new community and the list goes on. That first impression we have or others have about us is huge.

One thing to remember if you’ve got an upcoming interview or important first meeting of any kind and you’re overly nervous is that you can take steps beforehand to shape that first impression they’ll form about you. While you can’t guarantee that your preparation will create the impression you hope for, you can turn the odds in your favour. Pay little to no attention to the kind of impression you want to make and you’re risking a lot if the outcome of that first meeting is important to you.

Consider the overall message you want to convey. Are you hoping to come across as confident, friendly, aloof, intellectual, down-to-earth, mainstream, provocative or a leader? If you were limited to two words in describing what first impression you’re hoping to make, what two words would you choose? The importance you attach to making a good first impression will decide how little or great effort you put into preparing for that first hello.

First impressions are shaped by the clothes you wear; their design, colour, choice of material, fit, appropriateness for the occasion and cleanliness. Often it’s a good idea to get close enough to an organization where you can pickup the clothing choices of the employees who work in similar roles to one you’re competing for. Are they dressed formally, casually or do they opt for business/casual? While you want to fit in with their existing workforce, you need to also consider that dressing up for that interview demonstrates respect for the importance of the conversation.

While clothes might set you back a bit in the wallet, a warm smile, good eye contact and a firm but not overpowering handshake just require the effort to produce them and nothing more. Same goes for your posture. Standing with both feet firmly planted and not leaning on one leg will create an impression of strength. Put both hands on your hips at the same time as you stand with your feet firmly on the ground and you’ve assumed the ‘Superman’ pose of power. Of course this may or may not be the first impression you hope to create. You see it depends. You might not want to be misrepresented as arrogant or intimidating if you’re meeting the potential future in-laws!

Posture is just or equally important when seated too. Sitting too rigid could make you feel uncomfortable and communicate tension and inflexibility. Get too comfortable and your slouch and crossed legs might send the message that you’re not attaching the level of professionalism this meeting requires. Lean forward slightly in your chair and focus your eyes on those speaking and the message you send is that you’re engaged and attentive.

Grooming is essential too. Clean-shaven, scruffy first few days without a shave or trimmed beard? Light or heavy makeup? Subtle or strong lipstick? Scent-free deodorant or a few dabs of cologne or perfume? Is this a job interview your preparing for or a first date?

Now despite all the above – and there’s much more that goes into crafting this first impression by the way – there’s a limit to what you can do. Just as we shape our opinions of others largely based on our past experiences with people who seem like those we meet, the same is true of others who are shaping their opinions of us. Our height, weight, shape, tone of voice, hair colour and style, smile, smell, choice of words and expressions, etc; each of these communicate information to those we interact with. This information others receive is quickly checked against their past encounters with others they’ve interacted with and they’ll take that information and put it all together coming up with a first impression of us. All in just a few seconds!

Make what we call a good first impression and your goal is to keep this up for the duration of the encounter. Get off creating an impression other than the one you’d hoped for and you have to invest energy and time persuading the person that the first impression they have of you isn’t accurate. This can be impossible or difficult depending on the length of time you have available. If you think it’s not fair that a job interviewer has you sized up in the first 4 minutes, don’t forget you do it too. You’re sizing up others, forming opinions that have you judging them; meet enough people and you’ll judge that workplace, and make inferences about the entire organization and culture based on limited interaction.

First impressions can turn others off, get them excited about having us around, leave them indifferent or leave us memorable in their consciousness. It is because of this that putting some thought and effort into creating the first impression we want is worth all the effort.

 

Your Own Northern Star


In our night sky there is a star which sits almost directly above the north pole on the Earth’s axis. From our vantage point it seems to be a fixed object around which all the other stars rotate; making it an excellent stationary point from which to navigate and chart one’s place and / or progress. Given that it’s above the north pole, it has been given the name, Polaris; the North Star.

In days of old, many sailors once out in waters beyond the sight of land would use the stars in the night sky to stay the course as they’d navigate their way to distant lands. By day when the stars were not visible, these same people would track their progress using the path of the sun and pray for a cloudless night by which they could assure themselves they were on course and hadn’t wavered too much during the day.

So ironically, they used this one star in the night sky so very far away to keep grounded. The same by the way is true for travellers who were lost inland. When there was no GPS, no radio’s, cell phone or compasses, those lost in the night would hope for evenings full of stars from which they could get their bearings and stay the course as they made their way in lands where it was too hot to travel by day. Again, the North Star was their fixed point from which to gain their bearings.

Let me ask you then if you have a North Star of your very own. Do you have someone in your life who is always there for you? Someone you can rely on time after time to be there for you when you’re feeling lost and need reassurance? Maybe like Polaris they seem distant but when you look for them they can always be trusted to be steadfast right where you’d expect them to be and that stability is comforting to you and from that you draw self-confidence and can then go on your way.

It’s pretty easy in 2017 to find ourselves caught up in the hectic day-to-day. Whether it’s the pursuit of money, prestige, a job title, a house, cottage or yes even a far off destination like those explorers of old, we can get so focused on ‘getting’ things that we might lose ourselves in the process. This is why every so often something happens that gives us pause to think and we find ourselves re-evaluating our priorities. “Is this really what I want? When did I lose my way and become so fixated on making such-and-such my priority? What did I give up or move down my list of priorities by giving primary importance to whatever it is?”

It’s often this one person we see as our sounding board, our voice of reason, our mentor or advisor that helps us put things in perspective. Be it just listening, an afternoon or evenings conversation with them, maybe even just bringing them to mind in some cases; we somehow feel things just make sense when they’re near at hand or near in mind. In short, you’ve got your own Polaris, your own Northern Star.

Sometimes these people are the go-to people we think of first in our moments of need or crisis. When things are bleak, we’re confused or possibly we have a big decision to make, we seek out that one person who can listen to what’s troubling us, rearrange everything we tell them and they give it back to us in a way that just makes sense. Somehow, they make things clearer and without telling us what to do, they just make our decision easier; even when that decision means we’re in for a lot of work and struggle, the decision itself is easier to make.

Stars are by their very place in the universe, always up. Wherever you are on the Earth, you have to look up to see them. You might look down and see them reflected in still waters, but that’s not the stars themselves but rather their reflection. No, to see the stars and find the North Star, you have to look up to the night sky.

The person you see as your own Polaris is probably much the same; you look up to them. Don’t confuse this with meaning they can’t falter now and then, after all you can go a few days with cloudy nights when the stars aren’t visible, or there’s enough passing atmospheric cover that the stars peek out and then disappear. But you and I both know that North Star is always there.  While shooting stars sometimes briefly light the skies and disappear forever in a fiery end, the North Star has always been there.

I wonder if you’ve ever told this person you equate as your personal North Star just how much they mean to you? Is it enough that they should just ‘know’ their value to you? Would it be awkward for you to express your appreciation for them? It’s not hard to imagine however that telling them either verbally or in the written word would be welcomed and appreciated. What does having them in your life do for you? How are you better for knowing them? How much does it mean to have them to go to in your darkest moments for some clarity?

Sounds to me like a wonderful thing to share with your own North Star.