Self-Sabotage And The Job Search


Self-sabotage is intentionally undermining your own efforts to do something. You may find it surprising then to think that anyone would take steps to ruin their own chances at achieving their goals. It happens though; and often.

Despite ones best intentions, we’re not always as strong as we’d like to be. Consider the person who makes it a goal to lose weight. Their reason for wanting to lose the pounds could be a wish to feel better about themselves. In a moment of weakness however, that same person stands with the fridge open getting a piece of pie; something they expressly vowed not to eat as doing so runs counter to their weight loss goal. While they feel guilt in eating it, they enjoy the taste and texture of the food in the moment. Why? It was something that gave them immediate pleasure, even though it runs counter to their longer-term goal which will make them feel greater pleasure in their accomplishment.

The same is true when it comes to looking for work. Getting a job may be your goal, which has several benefits such as: you’ll feel better being productive, you’ll have purpose, you’ll have some much-need income and overall, you’re self-esteem and self-image will improve. With all those reasons for getting a job, you feel positive about putting in the effort to go for it!

However, in no time at all, you find yourself willfully distracted; watching television because you want the entertainment but not deriving the pleasure it normally brings you because there’s this persistent nagging sense that you should be job searching. You’re not fooling anyone, let alone yourself; you’re sabotaging your own efforts to find employment.

Realizing a goal takes discipline. The thing is, your thoughts can be ever so fragile when you aren’t doing what you feel you really should be. Indulging in that piece of pie or watching that hour show instead of looking for a job can make you believe you lack commitment, you’re weak and nothing short of a failure. It’s so easy at times like these to heap on the negative, which can have the unfortunate impact of sending you right back to the fridge for more pie or watching television for the rest of the day because these are the things you’ve come to feel good about in the past. So  why not give in and at least enjoy them guilt-free?

Even though this behaviour is counter-productive to your long-term goals, don’t beat yourself up unnecessarily.  It’s not easy to stay 100% committed to the new discipline it takes to changing behaviour. Behaviour is after all a set of thoughts and actions you typically think and do. Altering those thoughts and altering what’s really your normal way of going about things isn’t something you are likely to succeed at just because you come to some decision – even a good one – overnight. Example: the infamous New Year’s resolutions people make and don’t follow through on year after year.

An athlete knows that to ultimately meet their goal of the best performance they are capable of giving, it’s going to take discipline and practice. When a big race is in their future, they plan for it month’s or years in advance in the case of the Olympics. Sports teams play exhibition games prior to the start of their seasons to appreciate what it’s going to take. Success doesn’t happen just because they put their mind to things; it takes discipline, effort, commitment and follow-through. Ask them if they have setbacks, days when they just don’t put in the effort and they’ll tell you those moments happen. Why? They’ll say they are human; and so are you.

Committing to a goal such as job searching is a positive thing. Expect there will be ups and downs, hopeful expectations and yes, some let-downs. You’ll have days where you feel good about what you’ve done, steps you’ve taken in the right direction, and you’ll experience moments of doubt, frustration and disappointment. These are no reasons for not getting going though; for not starting. After all, that end goal you have of gaining employment means a lot to you and how you see yourself.

Now depending how long you’ve been in your current routine, and how much or little that current routine mirrors the activities and time-management it’s going to take to find your next job, it can be a minor or major shift in your daily activities to be successful. So think about that. A complete alteration in how you’re spending your time is likely going to mean you’ll have more moments where you’ll want to revert to those past behaviours that you now see as counter-productive to achieving your new goal. If you’re already pretty disciplined with your time and doing some job searching daily, you’ll have fewer moments where you are distracted.

Self-sabotage isn’t really hard to understand when you see it as momentarily engaging in things you find preferable in a given moment. Discipline takes time to acquire. Give yourself credit for small steps in the right direction; just coming to the decision on what you want is one of them. If you falter – and you likely will – get on with it again. If it was important enough to you that you set this new goal, it’s likely just as important enough to you to keep going.

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A New Hope (And No It’s Not Star Wars)


Hope; it’s what looking forward to flipping over the calendar at the end of December every year is all about really isn’t it? I mean, it’s a new slate, a fresh start, new beginnings with raised expectations that you won’t screw this one up; that things will be better than they were the previous year.

Throughout the year we all have those moments when things start fresh. We may start reading a new book, start work on a new painting, a renovation, maybe a new job; why I can recall in public school just being excited when I wrote for the first time in a new workbook and vowed that my printing and writing would be neater and with fewer mistakes to rub out with an eraser.

However a new year is when everybody we know gets a do-over all at the same time. I think to be honest this what we really celebrate; the chance we all have to put things right and get our act together and we’re supported by all of those we come into contact with because just like us, that’s what others are trying to do too.

Now for things to be better, we have to acknowledge first what didn’t, or isn’t going so well at the present time. For many of us that’s ridiculously easy to do of course because so many of us are continually facing problems and challenges. If you’re going to look at 2017 as the year you get hired by a good company doing a job you enjoy and making a decent wage doing it, no doubt you are pretty much well aware of the fact you are currently unemployed or unhappy in your current job. This is an easy one; not to fix of course but to understand.

On the other hand, there are some things in our lives that we want to set straight, deal with or put behind us; and if it was as easy as flipping the calendar to January 2017 we’d all be doing it. I’m talking about the things we want the new year to bring us that require us to first acknowledge and articulate what we currently have but want to change which we don’t want to think about or talk about. If we keep saying to ourselves and others, “I don’t want to think or talk about ______”, it’s not likely that a new year will bring the results we want – certainly not in any lasting measure.

So let’s say it’s a goal to be a better person. As good as that is, it’s rather vague isn’t it? I mean, better in what way(s)? Before we can decide how to be better it would be appropriate and necessary to examine closely and honestly the kind of person we are right now and have been throughout the year; knowing how we are at present and how we’d like to be can lead us to identify the distance between the two. How we go about enacting the change we want to bring about the desired end results is the next step but too many people make it the first step.

I suppose it’s also essential to ask yourself, “What’s my motivation for wanting a change in 2017?” Are you looking for more money, security, travel, a lasting relationship, perhaps ending a relationship? Goals for the new year can include endings as well as beginnings and not just in personal relationships. You could decide to finish 2017 no longer employed in your present job; break your addiction to social media and your cell phone, or your relationship with a creditor by getting out of debt.

A new year is like everybody received a brand spanking shiny new lottery card. There’s hope with every one issued and produced; a few will be major winners, some reveal happiness and give us reason to smile and for others there will be disappointment and a dream unfulfilled. However, unlike a lottery card, the result isn’t predetermined. When you scratch the lottery card, there are a fixed number of winners and losers. In life, I think we could all find 2017 brings us improvement, fulfillment and happiness – it’s within our control whether we have a good one or not.

I’ve a suggestion to put before you and that is in addition to the big one; the really significant thing you are hoping 2017 brings your way. Set yourself up for success with some relatively small or minor hopes too. If you hope to lose 50 pounds; a fairly big hope for many, maybe start with an obtainable yet small goal like replacing your white bread with some 100% whole grain bread, or forgoing the bread entirely for the first two weeks when you’re out shopping. Not a big deal; chances of success are pretty good and you can certainly mark whether you hit the goal or not.

If it’s a better you, maybe something tangible like, “being better means being friendlier and friendliness starts with a smile” becomes your motto and you set out to smile consciously at everyone you meet for the first few seconds. Unnatural as it might be now, you’re hoping to build new patterns of behaviour that you can carry on with over the long-term.

So what’s important enough to you that you’d like to work on to bring yourself the gift of hope realized in 2017? Share it if you will here with us.

Goals, Change, Challenges; Getting What You Want


Ever thought about turning over a new leaf, starting a diet, getting a job; getting a better job? Maybe it was getting better marks in school, driving more responsibly, making smarter decisions or possibly minding your manners. I’m guessing you’ve made a fresh start in the past with respect to something in your life you wanted to improve upon.

Presumably we are motivated to consider changes because we want some kind of improvement in our lives; the things we experience in our day-to-day living. Our motivation could be triggered by a change in the expectations others have of us at work, someone we become romantically interested in who we’d like to impress and attract, why it could even be a health scare or impending financial crisis we want to avoid.

Seems to me that depending on the stimulus, we either get started immediately on bringing about the desired end result by enacting change or we set some arbitrary date to commence our change in behaviour. Hence we start our diet on January 1st, start exercising on the first of a month, or we choose our birthday to start to turn a new leaf.

Sometimes however we start right away. Should we get a speeding ticket, we might change our driving behaviour the second we are done with the roadside issuance of the ticket. We might visit the doctor and get some sobering diagnosis that forces us to re-think our behaviour and then we run out and join a gym the same day.

The decision of when to start a new set of behaviours and actions lies within us; we alone get to decide on whether to continue with our current practices or to alter what we’ve done in the past, how we’ve behaved, what we’ve said, shared etc. We also get the power to decide when to make these changes; once we have made the decision to change indeed.

Of course this is both good and bad news isn’t it? I mean it’s great to know that we have the power to alter our behaviours and actions by simply changing our thought process and committing to disciplining ourselves in ways that will ultimately bring about the goal(s) we wish to achieve. That’s obviously the positive. On the other hand, because of the very fact that we have this power of self-determination, it can be a bad thing if we know the result we wish to achieve and then we lack the willpower and commitment to actually do what’s required. Then guilt sets in; we may feel bad that we lack the stamina, the drive, the effort and the resolve.

The gulf between what we want and where we are makes us feel let down, disappointed in ourselves and consequently we lose confidence and may actually engage in self-destructive behaviour that runs contrary to what we’ve set as our goal(s). So the person who wants to lose weight and eat better but who fails early may become so discouraged they reach for potato chips and junk food seeking comfort in the very things they want to eliminate.

Here however we have to recognize that when we are seeking a change in behaviour to achieve desired results, we may have multiple false starts; we make a decision to do something and it doesn’t pan out the first time, the second time, maybe the sixth time. Each time we fail we have a new decision to make which is to either buckle down and try again or to concede and give up on making the changes necessary to reaching our goal.

Depending on the goal you’ve set for yourself the change in your behaviour may be overcoming years – maybe decades of what is now ingrained as your natural set of actions.

Now as change affecting your employment situation, (or lack of employment altogether), you may be one of those people who is currently looking at improving your employment situation. Your motivation might be an increase in your income, taking on more responsibility, new challenges, perhaps better benefits. Then too you might be wanting to get away from a toxic environment, an unpleasant boss, a nightmarish commute or a job you’ve come to no longer enjoy doing. In the case of no employment at present, you might want some sense of involvement; a sense of participating in the world around you, finding meaning in your day and obviously more income.

Trying to make the necessary changes in your actions and then commit to a daily schedule of activity that differs from what you are doing right now may be more than you can handle and you may as I say have setbacks and feel defeated. Stick with your plan, reminding yourself why you wanted change in the first place. Remember too that only you have the power to change your circumstances. While the economy, hiring and business practices continue to change, in the end we must take full responsibility for ourselves and doing whatever it is that we find meaning in.

Change could start January 1st, December 1st, next week, today; why even right now as you sit reading. Good questions to ask of yourself include:

“What do I really want?”

“What will I have to change in order to achieve what I want?”

“Is my vision of what I want bigger than the problems I’ll encounter in getting it?”

If It’s Important, Why Are You Putting It Off?


As you read the title, where did your thoughts go? What did your mind automatically think of? What are you thinking about right now as you read on? Most of us have something in our lives that we want to change, want to acquire, want to aspire to or want to rid ourselves of. Sometimes we go after these things, sometimes we put them off.

Presumably you have wanted whatever you are thinking of for some time now. Maybe it’s losing weight, leaving your abusive partner, getting a job; maybe a better job. Almost always what you want is in some way a beginning or fresh start. Although you have wanted, ‘it’ for a long time, you also concede that you’re not doing what is required to realize it. The logical consequence of this inaction may be feeling disappointed in yourself, beating yourself up for not having the courage to actually take the initiative. Perhaps you’ve even taken false starts in the past, like losing two pounds and feeling good but then putting on four pounds and feeling depressed and let down.

I could easily share with you tools which would help you get started, such as implementing SMART goals, (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound). I might suggest putting up a, ‘to do’ list, a calendar to record progress; I could encourage you to share your goals with others so you have a supportive network of people to keep you on track. There are in fact many ideas I and others like me, could share with you to get you going. I suspect however that you aren’t in need of this kind of information.

No, it occurs to me that you have a different kind of need. You see it’s easier than ever to get resource materials etc. that can track your progress and encourage you. You could join a gym, hire a job coach, look into upgrading at colleges and universities. There is no shortage of places you can go, people you can talk with, help you can buy. You probably have the intelligence to either already know who you need to talk with or where you can get the help you are after, or you have the skills to find that help. That’s not your issue.

Your issue it appears is harder to nail down. Intellectually you know you’d be better off losing that 20 pounds for example. Your doctor has told you, the mirror tells you every day, your eyes tell you, your tight pants tell you, the closet of, ‘clothes I hope to wear one day’ tells you. There is no shortage of external indicators. As for a new job, your bank account isn’t as high as you’d like, the challenge and thrill of the job you have now are long gone and it’s getting harder to drag yourself in.

And yet, despite all the signs (or warnings) you life goes on and with each day that passes you find yourself still as far from your desired goal at bedtime as you were when you awoke that same morning. Maybe tomorrow? Not likely.

I’m not being pessimistic, I’m being a realist. What’s going to happen during the course of the day that is going to be so remarkable that it’s going to have a major impact on you and jolt you into action? A heart attack? Getting fired? Facing eviction? Getting dumped? One of those might do the trick but a heart attack isn’t likely to happen, nor would we wish it upon ourselves just as a wake up call to get going!

Our decision to start has to be founded on the belief that what it is we want is more valuable than the pain and/or effort it is going to require to get it. Often we want something, but honestly the effort just seems too much, and the status quo; doing nothing, appeals infinitely more appealing. So with weight loss, we might know losing 20 pounds would be a good thing, and we might want to actually lose it. However, losing it might require strain, discomfort, pain, embarrassment of being sweaty at the gym and being ridiculed or laughed at. It’s so much easier to just stay on the couch and turn on the television. Next, we’re sipping diet soda and trying to convince ourselves that diet soda is better for us than regular soda. Progress right? Wrong; and we know it.

On the other hand, we might want a new job, understand that it’s going to take research, networking, going to interviews, writing more effective cover letters and resumes, making follow-up calls and facing rejection from some employers in order to get it. We might further believe that it will be worth all the work if and when we are offered that job, and the benefits it will bring will quickly make all that hard work all the more worthwhile. In this example, we begin.

So what are you putting off? What’s important to you and how important is it really? Are you willing to let go of, ‘wanting’ it if it means continuing to avoid the necessary work to get it? If you want it enough, does that mean you are willing to put in the hard work it will take to obtain it?

Get going! Take one single step today – now – that moves you a tad closer to what you want. It has to start with you.

 

No Real Urgency To Get Off Assistance


Recently I was sharing the same physical space as a colleague who was interviewing a person on social assistance who had just completed a course he had facilitated. The purpose of this interview was in part to look at the next steps the person might take.

Taking steps implies of course that there is movement, direction; that the person is headed somewhere and the steps laid out move the person closer to their eventual goal. What was interesting in this particular interview was the person’s apparent absence of a desire to do much about their present status.

The workshop had focused on building some job interview, self-confidence and personal confidence skills and looking at things from the employers point of view. What she primarily got out of it was other things. She mentioned the workshop had been very positive; she’d met some new people, met some friends from past groups and really enjoyed the social aspects of the course.

She didn’t state or display any urgency to leave social assistance, there was no expression of embarrassment or shame which some people share at these meetings. However, there was also no attitude of entitlement or bravado in her words or body language either. In fact, she was just acting and speaking very matter-of-factly. She was comfortable; it struck me as I listened that she viewed her situation as normal living. It was if she never wondered or questioned where the funds came from that she was in receipt of monthly, and had no real drive to change her present circumstances.

After she departed both he and I spoke together of her situation and how she was responding to it. We weren’t incredulous, we weren’t shocked or surprised; we did talk and muse about how she arrived at this point. We also felt that if either of us were out of work and in receipt of assistance, we’d find ourselves feeling down on ourselves and working hard to gain back our financial independence and with it our self-esteem.

My colleague made an astute observation. He said it was ironic how her apparent contentment being on assistance wasn’t causing her any obvious stress as it does with some, and how with this lack of worry, she might just be ‘healthy’ in that sense. Her food and rent money came in monthly, and as she isn’t struggling to get a job, she’s not really getting disappointed and rejected. If her friends are on assistance too and she’s living within her means, not wanting much she can’t afford, he could understand her desire to maintain the status quo.

Now we both like our social service system here in Ontario, Canada. It works for a large number of the population and you need to experience it from the inside to really know how it works to support people while they reclaim their independence. It’s not a preferred lifestyle for most and neither of us would want to change our present circumstances for hers.

We reasoned that coming from middle class backgrounds with the expectations and advantages of our upbringings, no personal exposure to being on financial assistance, we both have, “get a job, pay your own way” imprinted on us at an early age. Some folks, and I can’t say she is one, have had a different upbringing and their expectations are their, ‘normal’; but the two perspectives are different from each other.

It is not fair nor logical for either my colleague or I to sit in judgement of her or people like her and say, “because we were raised to be financial independent as adults, you too must feel the same way and if you don’t, it is our job to convert you.” That makes about as much sense as someone in the upper class projecting their values on he and I and trying to convert us to some higher level. Their experiences and expectations aren’t shared with us.

And perhaps the degree of separation from another persons reality determines how agitated or amazed you are when you encounter others who don’t think the same as you do or act the way you would. So a high income, upper class earner driven to succeed and make more income from year to year may react stronger to hearing of people on assistance who aren’t motivated to work. Conversely a person relying on assistance may struggle with trying to understand the person who isn’t happy with an $800,000.00 property and is working hard to afford a bigger home, a bigger car, a nicer cottage etc.

This isn’t about slamming her for her attitude. No it’s about you and I first reconciling in our own minds how someone who thinks differently than us, was and continues to be shaped by her world as she experiences it. She’s enrolled in school to upgrade her education from that grade 8 or 9 level (and that’s a step). Maybe it’s not a career in her future but a series of jobs. Maybe there are mental health issues both known and unknown to be addressed, motivation to find and ignite.

To reach a goal, the goal must be identified and owned by the person themselves. Barriers to employment need identifying and steps mapped out. Real change may take longer in some than others. Empathy and a lack of judgement on our parts may be key components we can offer.

 

 

 

 

 

Plan Backwards; Move Forward


So there I was in front of 16 unemployed people yesterday. I was wrapping up a 7 day Career Exploration workshop I was co-facilitating with a colleague, and we were down to coming up with a plan to move from their unemployed status to reaching their individual career or job goals.

Having identified barriers to success, I was at the point where we were collectively discussing the steps necessary to eliminate the barriers. After all, eliminate your barriers and then you’re closing the gap between wherever you are at present and where you ultimately want to be.

One of the barriers someone self-identified was the lack of grade 12 education; which in 2015 is pretty much the bottom of the barrel from most employer’s points of view. Without it, your relegated to entry-level minimum wage jobs much of the time and the prospects for advancement reduced.

So I asked the group if we took the lack of grade 12 as a barrier we wanted to overcome, what would be the first step to eliminate that barrier. Their answer was a unanimous, “Go to school and get your grade 12.” Not entirely unexpected but the wrong answer. You see this answer is just like telling an unemployed person that the steps to resolve their dilemma is, “Just get a job.”

The problem you see is that if you write down, “go to school and get my diploma” as the step to resolve your lack of grade 12 and then turn your attention to your other barriers, when you DO want to put that plan into action, you’re no closer to knowing HOW to go about getting your grade 12! After all, you don’t really just go over to the school and ask for your diploma and then get it. We know all that.

And this is where so many get stuck by traditionally planning forward. It seems to make sense to plan forward, and that’s why so many plan this way and so many fail miserably. The logic says, “Here I am, I want to get my diploma, what’s the first step? But no matter whether you are wanting to address the lack of grade 12, a poor resume, literacy, criminal record, a lack of proper interview clothing or even figuring out what your career goal is, forward planning will often get you stuck, not knowing the steps you need to take.

Look at things using backward planning however. So the first thing I asked the group was to imagine themselves being handed their grade 12 certificate, and I wrote that on the board. I wrote all their replies on the board from under the goal achievement. Here’s what the question and answer exchange looked like:

“What happened just before you got the certificate?”

“I passed all the necessary courses.”

“And before that?”

“I was in the classes.”

“And before that?”

“I signed up for the classes by registering.”

“And before that?”

“You have to attend an orientation over at the school.”

“And before that?”

“You have to find out when the orientation sessions are by calling them or going to the school.”

“And before that?”

“You have to decide you want your grade 12 bad enough to go back and get it.”

And that last statement brought us back to where we were sitting together in the room – to that moment; their present.  With all those 7 steps laid out on the board as they said them out loud, they could quickly see that from where they were the first step was to decide they wanted their grade 12 and wanted to do something about it. They could see all 7 steps required, with the 7th step being handed the diploma.

The next thing we did was put some timeframes beside each step. “How much time is required to decide you want your grade 12?”, I asked. “Already done” someone said. And the group assigned a timeframe of a day to call the school and find out when the orientation sessions were all the way up to six months to actually attend the classes. It turns out they figured 7 months from step 1 to step 7 was required for one person to achieve their goal.

By utilizing the backward planning concept, the group became aware that what they had in the end was a workable plan that was realistic, had definite timeframes and they could see that by following the steps they’d eliminate their barrier. Now I have to tell you that I presented them with a list of potentially 20 barriers. Most people in the room had several barriers and each one requires its own backward planning process to identify the steps needed to eliminate it.

Here’s the beautiful thing that’s going to sound attractive to YOU. While eliminating a barrier sounds great, taking 7 months to do it might seem a long time. But if you break the barrier into smaller steps like I suggest, your self-esteem will rise with each small step you take. So even when you just call the school to determine the next orientation date, you can check off step 1 and say, “I am one small step closer to my goal.” The longer steps work the same as you remind yourself, each step is part of your bigger plan.

When you work out your plan, get someone to look it over and confirm you’ve got all the steps covered. Like anything new, it takes a little time to get the hang of it!

What Do You Want?


I’m sorry if like me just this second, the refrain, “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want”, is playing in your head. Sorrier still if it wasn’t but it is now. Ah such is life. Thank you Spice Girls I suppose.

But seriously, what do you want? What is it in life right now – today, that you really want? What if there were no limits on what you could ask for and no one would ridicule you for your choice or tell you to get serious. Here’s a sequence of questions to ask yourself:

What do I want?
How bad do I want it?
Am I prepared to make it a priority?
What do I have to do to make it happen?
What barriers to what I want are in front of me?
What steps do I need to take to eliminate those barriers?

So what is it you want? A car? Boat? Home? A life-long partner? Kids? A career? A trip somewhere? Usually what we want is dependent upon what we currently have in life. So if for example you have a good job, you usually don’t want a job because you already have one. If you want a better job, it’s because you currently don’t have one that brings you fulfillment and happiness or the income you want.

The same is true of the material possessions we have. If you want a car, it’s a safe bet it’s because you don’t have one at present and know that it would give you independence, or your current vehicle needs replacing. We want what we don’t have much of the time.

Now of course it is possible to want more of what we already have. We could really enjoy our vacations as well as value our home and job but want more of the times we get back to nature. We could want more time with our children. However, wanting more of something still breaks down to, we don’t currently have it, and so again, we usually want something that we don’t currently have.

Now thinking about what it is you want, is part of the reason you don’t currently have it a lack of money? Money is needed for the purchase of the car, the home, the extended vacation, certainly makes raising a large family easier etc. Is money therefore not necessarily a bad thing to want in and of itself? You might feel that wanted money is bad in some way, but maybe it’s no so much wanting money, but wanting what money can buy and be exchanged for.

So if we see money as a goal, the question becomes how to get more of it and then exchange it for the thing we really want. If we want that one thing bad enough, we will save for it, avoid spending money on other things that make acquiring our one goal further out of reach, and we become focused. One thing we can do to help in this focus is to identify the potential barriers to our goal.

Barriers are the things which we anticipate will delay us or stop us from achieving our goal. If we want to work but don’t have a good resume and don’t know how to go about applying for a job on-line, we can either get a resume and learn how to apply on-line, (thus removing the barrier), or we can throw up our hands, give up and stop. The interesting thing about barriers that we have to realize and accept that barriers are not universal except in extremely limited circumstances. You may not know how to apply on-line, but many other people who once didn’t know learned how. You can too.

So you’ve got this goal. Identify what is preventing you from reaching your goal. Now sit down either alone or with someone who you respect and trust and open up to them. Together, brainstorm all the possible options for overcoming your barriers one at a time. Each time you move forward, your self-esteem is going to get a boost, and as you mark your progress, you’ll be building momentum. Momentum gives you the drive to tackle the more significant barriers.

And now the question of it being a priority. Ever heard someone say, “I need a job.”? I bet you may then see that same person immediately engage in something that doesn’t fit with that statement, such as siting down and playing a video game, writing a daily journal about their feelings, or watching television. What they want and what they are doing are not in sync, and there is a disconnect.

The things we want in life rarely come easily or immediately. You might say, “I want some ice cream” and go to the fridge and get one just to prove me wrong, but I’d reply you just proved my point. You wanted something, made a decision to get it, then put your idea into action and now have it. This process is identical to the more meaningful things in life we want.

One of the saddest things is not so much not attaining our goals, but lacking meaningful goals in the first place that we want bad enough that prompt us to sustained action.

What do YOU want? Make it happen!