People in the know are always talking about preparing for job interviews and how important they are, especially when you want to get your career going, find a job or work on getting a promotion. If anyone has ever given you the advice, “Make sure you do your homework”, they’re really saying you should put some serious thought into the opportunity of meeting the employer. Although you might feel confused on what to do, I’ll bet you’re already doing it; just not in the job hunting, career or promotion context.
I’m guessing you’ve had times when you’ve headed out to meet some friends, gone to a party, a wedding, perhaps a blind or first date. What these situations have in common is they all involve meeting and interacting with people. And I think it’s safe to say that in all these situations, before you head out your front door, there’s things you think about and do.
First of all, you consider what you’re going to wear. What you choose depends on the situation, and it’s likely that what you wear to a wedding will differ from what you wear when you’re heading out with your friends for an evening at some local pub or a backyard barbeque / party. And a date? Oh you’ll put some thought into what you’ll wear because you want to do two things; look good and feel comfortable. Looking good is all about making the right impression. Hmm… same as an interview.
And it doesn’t stop with clothing. You have a shower or bath, shave and groom your hair, check your face a little bit closer than usual for anything that might mar your good looks. Apply the deodorant, maybe even dab on some baby powder if you feel you’re in danger of showing some sweat and you check yourself out again. Ah, you realize your teeth and breath need attention so you brush them, floss, swish around some mouthwash and your confidence is rising. Your ready.
As you think less about how you look and more about actually meeting this person, I bet you start thinking to yourself, “How will I introduce myself?” and, “What can I talk about?” You might come up with 2 or 3 things you hope they’ll find interesting about you and be impressed by. “Impressed by” … hmm… there’s that first impression thing again.
Now if you go along with the dating theme, you’ll want to find out about them so you have some kind of idea of who you’re meeting. It’s possible you might even ask people who know this person, “What are they like?”, “What’s their situation?” or “What do they do?” You’re gathering information aren’t you? The more you know about them, the better you’ll be prepared to say and do things you hope they’ll find attractive. You want them to like you and you don’t want get off to an awkward start by taking them to a Steakhouse, order yourself the largest cut on the menu and then find out they don’t eat meat for ethical reasons. For a first date, might have been better to go for pasta, sushi or seafood.
Okay so you’ve done some preliminary homework, asked around, maybe even went online and looked up a social media page or two. All of this is simply called research. See? You’re putting in the work ahead of time with the hope things go well. Now during the actual time together, you’re talking up your good qualities, down-playing your liabilities or if you do share a weakness, you hope it won’t end the date badly. After all, you’ve made that first impression, and you’re working on building on it; strengthening how you come across in a positive way. Hmm… there’s that, ‘making an impression’ theme again.
Okay now sooner or later you’re getting to the end. If you’re still interested in them, you hope you’ve done enough to have them interested in you too. You might ask to call them in a day or two, get a number, maybe even plan a second date. If things went well, you get a second meeting, and if not, you get a blunt, “I’m just not interested”, or even a, “I’ll be in touch” and it just doesn’t happen. Hey, they won’t always be interested in getting into a relationship with you just as you might find things about them that you don’t find attractive. The impression you’ve made and the impression they’ve given you are what’s going into the decision that you’re good for each other or it’s not going to be a good match.
By the way, if things don’t work out, it might sting tonight – even tomorrow or a few days later. Eventually however, you realize there are other people to meet and you might even be thrilled things didn’t go further when you find a better match.
Dating in this sense is much like the interview for a job. You want to make a good impression and that means doing your homework, putting effort into your presentation, talking about your good qualities you hope they’ll find attractive and of course, you’re also sizing them up too as a fit.
Whether you like the dating analogy or not personally, there are a lot of similarities. And telling people you’ll do anything work-wise is like saying, “I’ll date anyone”. Yeah, that’s never a good idea now is it?