Conversation Starters


There they sit on my desk; a compass, a magnifying glass and a clock. The compass has the inscription, “Life is a journey not a destination.”

Whether it’s after a workshop or someone has dropped in unannounced and would like a word in my office, when someone draws up a chair beside me, these three are close at hand. Invariably, their eyes take in the objects and they make some comment. Picking up on whatever they say, a conversation ensues. Usually I’ll ask them which of the three speaks to them, or which of the three is the most important to them and why.

The compass you see provides direction; it not only helps you find your way when you’re lost, it can help keep you on track when you know which way you’re headed. The magnifying glass brings things which are small and hard to see into focus; enlarging them. The clock? Well the clock never stops does it? Time is moving on and the seconds that pass as we talk about time can never be reclaimed or experience again once they’ve ticked past. Time? Time to get going. Lest you see the clock as only marking regret for time lost, the clock can also be a blessing if it reminds a person they have time ahead of them as well; time to spend.

Now the thing about the three is that neither is more important than the other, but to any one person at the point we meet, one will take on greater importance than the others. To someone confused about their career direction, what they want to achieve or do – the compass and the direction it implies is what they want more than anything. To someone with multiple barriers or so many things going on in their life they find it difficult to give their job search the focus it requires, the magnifying glass speaks. The clock maybe not surprisingly, speaks more to the mature or older people who take up the seat next to me. Younger people in their 20’s say, well, they believe they have all the time in the world; certainly enough that the clock isn’t as ominous as it will be one day.

It was out in a store during a busy Christmas shopping trip that I spied the three. They weren’t assembled as you see them in the photo here. No, they were in various parts of the store, but it was the line of work I’m in and the conversations I have many of that first brought to mind the idea of assembling them together. My brain just works this way; always thinking of creative ideas. Even now as I write, I think about the old-fashioned journals so popular in book stores, and how one of these and a quill pen might be good additions, for those who’d like a fresh page to begin writing the stories that make up a life. However, maybe my desk might get a little cluttered?

They are pretty good conversation starters though. The nice thing is that I don’t have to actually say anything to get conversations going. While we talk walking down to my office, sometimes I’ll take just a fraction of a minute to let them get settled in as I load their personal file or feign moving a few things around on the desk to give them room. The objects before them draw their attention in and while most just make a remark, some will ask if they can hold one. “Why that one?” I’ll ask.

And that’s all it takes. It’s not so much about the ones a person didn’t take up or talk about, even though all three are important. No, the most important thing is just to listen and comment on what I hear. A question here or there; sometimes what they share is better, more relevant and certainly much quicker delivered than had I asked a slew of questions. In fact, a litany of questions might come out more like an interrogation!

Work spaces are very personal areas. Do you have pictures, quotes, maybe a combination of the two, other articles etc. that draw out or inspire conversation? Would you be willing to chime in with a comment about what you strategic place in your work area, why you’ve chosen what you have and the impact of those things on those who come into your space?

It would be interesting to share, to read and perhaps for some to copy. I’m sure I’m not the only one to have objects around them for conversation; possibly others even have the same three objects as I do. Sometimes, I move the clock so it faces me and I substitute in an hourglass. Same kind of device to mark the passing of time; the thing about the hourglass is people like to flip it over. so it becomes interactive. Time appears to stop when the last crystal of sand drops, but of course it stops no more than the clock does when it’s battery expires. Time marches on.

These I have penned about before, so if my musings sound reminiscent of a post past, good for you for recognizing the recurring theme. The interesting thing is sometimes a person returns to my office after some time and they suddenly recall the three, and they remark how their priorities have shifted. That’s groovy.

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Regretting The Words Left Unspoken


Remember that special person you never told how you really felt? Of course you do because after all this time you just can’t get them out of your head for very long. You wish now you could go back and tell them how much they had an impact on you, how much you loved them perhaps, and you wonder if/how things might have worked out differently if you had.

It’s wondering, ‘what if’ that tantalizes; because it ignites possibilities of what might have happened had shared your thoughts openly. Ah, but you were scared, nervous and afraid of blurting something out you’d come to later regret. Ironically, after all these years, here you are now regretting the words you left unspoken.

It’s very much like that in other situations too; although the people we neglect to say what’s on our mind to aren’t just potential sweethearts. No, sometimes we find we lose job opportunities to others and later wish we had said a few more things at the job interview. This is often especially the case if we sincerely wanted a job bad. It would have been perfect and you have wanted a job like that in a long time, so when the news came that they went with someone else, it hit like a truck. If only you had said what you were feeling, things might have worked out differently.

Or perhaps there was someone you really valued in your past; that person who made a big impact on you. Perhaps it was their influence that set you on the path you later took or are taking now. A teacher, a father or mother, a mentor or some person who inspired you to think differently, perceive things in a new light. You never said how much you appreciated them and now their gone. Whether they passed on, moved away, have dementia and don’t recognize you, or you moved away yourself, the opportunity to tell them how you feel is lost.

Now the only thing worse would be finding yourself in this situation here in the present. You know, feeling so strongly about someone you see in the here and now daily, but feeling timid, awkward, embarrassed or anxious about sharing how you feel. You’re so worried about ruining things or spoiling your chances that you go on being around them in silence. You wonder, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just open my mouth, pour out how I feel? Tell them?” Of course in your mind you worry about creating a wide divide, making things weird, learning that your feelings aren’t reciprocated and as long as you don’t do anything…you’ll at least have what you have now – which is something.

Opportunities to step up and voice your true feelings pop up every day; but not forever. Take your work environment. You really value the support of a co-worker; they’ve passed on knowledge to you, covered for you when you weren’t at your best, listened to you share your frustrations, applauded your accomplishments and even motivated you when you needed it. There they are beside you every day, and having a real heart-to-heart with genuine sincerity, telling them how much they mean to you sounds both the right thing to do but maybe the weird thing to do.

Really though, what’s so weird? How long have you worked together? All those years and the hours you’ve spent in each other’s company? Why should it be weird to shut the door and say, “Hey listen, I want to tell you how much you mean to me, and I’m being serious.” You’ll likely catch them off guard, and they might use humour to deflect their real feelings, but they’ll likely also be grateful. What they feel in any event is up to them. You’ll feel better knowing you expressed your feelings and took that chance instead of regretting saying nothing. Then they retire, take another job, move or have an unexpected long-term medical leave etc. and you lose touch; opportunity lost.

I mentioned the job interview earlier. How many times have you walked out of an interview and suddenly said in your mind, “Oh, why didn’t I just say _____?Should I walk back in? Should I follow-up with an email or phone call? I really want that job! I’d LOVE working there so why did I find it so hard to tell them how bad I really want it!

Sometimes its convention and decorum that gets in the way. It seems somehow inappropriate to tell someone how we really feel. On the other hand we also hear that employers want people who are passionate about the work they do. So when you do find something you’re passionate about; a job or company you’re sincerely excited to work for and will invest yourself with fully, why not just open your mouth and express that.

Just like that mentor, potential love interest, teacher, co-worker etc., you’ve got a limited window to risk expressing how you feel. They won’t stick around forever, and the time will never be any better than it is now – today. If you’ve waited for a sign, this is it.

Look, hearing someone tell you how much they appreciate your support, your love, your encouragement, the opportunity to work with them etc.; it’s all good. We need to get better at telling others just how much they mean to us. Few things are better.

 

Presenting To Colleagues On Training Day


Yesterday found me presenting with 4 fellow employees at day 1 of our organization’s annual 2 day professional development training. We’re back there again later today delivering the last of our two workshops to the staff who remained behind to deliver services to the public.

Let me say up front it was a huge success. I love it when the topic selected, the planning and the delivery all come together to make the opportunity for learning the best it can be. The only thing that one can’t control is the mood and attitude of those attending; even though you can influence them one way or the other with your delivery and content based on how relevant and useful they view the material covered.

Now I like facilitating; I mean I truly enjoy it and love investing myself in the delivery because I know how important it is to stimulate and entertain the audience so the presentation has some life. Ever been to a presentation where the material was fantastic and relevant but the speaker(s) were so dry and lifeless that you had a hard time concentrating? I know I have! So injecting humour, varying the pitch of my voice, addressing everyone with my eyes throughout our time together is something that comes natural to me. In short, I’m comfortable up there, and that level of comfort translates into the audience feeling that they are in good hands.

But not everybody enjoys standing up in front of an audience. The idea of getting up in front of a room of people who are looking to you for leadership, delivery of content with enthusiasm and expertise is absolutely scary for some and for others downright terrifying!

So I have to tell you then how proud I am of my co-facilitating team. We are part of a large municipal organization with 5 offices spread across a large geographic area just east of Toronto. In addition to myself, I had the pleasure of working with 4 others including 3 Social Services Caseworkers and the 4th is a woman who recently moved from her role as a Caseworker to an Employment Development Worker. None of the three facilitate as part of their job.

This is significant to tell you see, because in addition to getting together to talk about what we’d present and how, it meant we’d also need time to talk about presenting period. You know, getting over any performance anxiety, the butterflies and pressure your mind imagines. Standing up in the front of a room of strangers is one thing; standing up in front of your peers, many of whom have significant experience beyond your own can be daunting. After all, you’ll go back to working with these same people long after the two days are over, so you can feel tremendous pressure to excel so you don’t look foolish or just melt away up there in front of them!

Like I said earlier though, it was a huge success. We had a diversified audience too, made up of Supervisors, Administrative Clerks, Caseworkers, Employment Development Workers and Employment Counsellors; a true mixed audience. Some of the people in these roles don’t interact with our end-users in-person. Knowing this, we anticipated the need to make our material relevant not only to the professional life of each attendee, but also in their personal lives. The material could be transferred to their own development, identifying and moving past barriers standing between them and their goals. We also talked briefly about the what some see as the dreaded resume; best practices, getting past Applicant Tracking Software that employers use to weed out the bad from the good. All completely appropriate for the work we do on a daily basis, but also good for each participant individually; perhaps their kids, family or friends too.

It was this design borne out of the discussions we had at the outset, knowing our audience and the perspective they’d be coming from when in attendance that gave us the best chance of success. It was the actual delivery on the day which sealed the deal. Having been to many presentations, I know that the first 5 minutes generally tells me whether I’m in for a good time or not.

My colleagues Meaghan, Laurie, Amy and Julie truly pushed themselves outside their traditional comfort zones. They took the courage to volunteer and speak to a piece of the presentation, standing up before their peers and delivering. What a great bunch to work with. I’m so very proud of them all.

As for our attendees? It was extremely satisfying in both our presentations yesterday to have a few people voice their happiness with the material. One person actually texted her son on the other side of the country who is out of work at the moment with the information on resumes she picked up, and he got back to her and said, “Wow! I didn’t know that about resumes. Thanks mom!” So not only was it immediately relevant to the Caseworker, it helped her as a mother – and we all know our adult kids don’t always think we know much!

In one of the presentations, a Supervisor remarked she was going to make sure this material was covered as core training material for all new staff. So kind of her to share her feelings! It meant so much for us to know our material was relevant and appreciated.

To my presentation team, well done!

Professional Development Days


Today and tomorrow my employer is conducting some in-house professional development for all the employees across our Social Services department. It’s split over the two days so that we can continue to offer front-line services to our users, while at the same time giving staff the opportunity to take part and learn.

Staff react to these training opportunities in various ways, as I suspect they do in other organizations; perhaps yours. There are those who will be resistant to training; they feel they’ve got better things to do and a day away from doing their job just has them falling further behind. There’s the staff who are apathetic; not really caring one way or the other. Then there’s those who enjoy the day away from the daily routine but aren’t sure what they’ll benefit from. You’ll also find there are those who truly embrace training; the chance to learn something new and they’ll show enthusiasm and gratitude for the personal development training provides.

Good organizations develop their staff, as they recognize the benefits to continually providing upgrading opportunities. Better trained staff keep up with best practices, learn new techniques and strategies so they can do better on the job, and employees tend to return benefits to the employer through working more efficiently.

Training is an organizations way of investing in their most precious asset; their employees. Off-site training is often favoured by most; the chance to get away from the physical office or work place, where the distraction of nipping back to check emails and answer a few calls isn’t present. This way employees can relax more, immerse themselves in the content and network with their peers better.

I’m so looking forward to today because I’m co-presenting with 4 other employees; 3 of whom are from other offices and who up until recently, I have had almost no interaction with. It’s been really good to get this group together, plan out our topic and content, divide up who will speak to what and pull everything together. As a training facilitator, I’ve had the chance to mentor my colleagues, and I’m really excited for them as they are each getting a little out of their comfort zones and standing up in front of their co-workers. That takes some bravery the first time your name is called and up you get. I’m so excited for them.

Our presentation is called, “Making the Most of the Meeting”. You see there is a shift going on where I work in how some of us go about doing our jobs. We work in the field of Social Services, and many of our staff have front-line contact with recipients of social assistance. With each meeting of those recipients, there’s an opportunity to support forward movement; sometimes towards a job of course, but there are other goals people move toward that are required before realizing a sustainable job and the financial freedom it will bring.

Looking at things holistically, it could be a person first needs basic supports like food and housing or help with an addiction issue. Maybe the thing they are focused on is completing an education, a better relationship with a family member or getting connected to the community in which they’ve recently moved to. Focusing solely on a job search is missing the chance to lay the groundwork required to successfully reach that long-term goal. Of course if they are looking for work and can do so with the focus required, that’s great.

Our presentation is all about opening up that dialogue, establishing some trust and finding a way to connect with the person where they are at. We’ve got 4 specific resources to distribute; simple to use, and while by no means mandatory, it is hoped that by providing every attendee with something to take away, they’ll be equipped to try things out and see if they help move the discussion. Leaving with something in hand that is tried and works hopefully inspires staff to pull them out as they feel the timing is right.

If you’ve ever had your job undergo a shift in the job description, you probably had some new training and coaching to increase the odds of success. Without that support, you’d likely fail more than succeed; it would take longer to change over and some would resist the change with all the energy they could muster.

Where I work, such a shift is occurring and will continue to do so as we respond to changes in the needs of those we serve. Our front-line staff will focus more on helping people move forward (whatever ‘forward’ means to each person) themselves rather than exclusively referring them on to others for specific help – say with resume writing. While it’s great having a team of ‘resume experts’, if everyone knows enough of best practices out there to make a few good suggestions, the person receiving help gets help in a time-sensitive way.

Training shares skills; it equips staff with more tools which they can then draw on when appropriate, which makes the experience better for the client, customer, end-user etc. When the person you are designing for benefits, the ripple effect carries over to the person delivery the service, the organization and the larger community.

Wish us the best today. Here’s to hoping we impart our knowledge well enough to inspire our colleagues. I expect a great day ahead!

This, “I’m Too Old” Business Part 2


After penning and sharing my post yesterday on dealing with being an older person looking for work, I was grateful to receive commentary from among others, James and Jeffrey. By the way, feedback is always welcome on any blog I pen; this is how we help each other through commentary, questioning, supporting, challenging, adding new perspectives etc. So a big thank you to James, Jeffrey and all the rest of you who take the time to comment periodically.

As much as James agreed with the advice about improvements in personal appearance, he raised an excellent point that one’s resume detailing their work experience and education often dates a person and they may never get to that interview to showcase their vigor and energy. James also asked about the response I gave James in suggesting a résumé shouldn’t go back beyond 10 years; he has progressive experience that showcases 20 years.

So let’s look at the résumé from both the viewpoint of the employer and the applicant. As an applicant, it is essential to remember that this résumé is your personal marketing document; you are in full control of what you put on it and how you phrase it. Think about your image or brand. How do you want to come across and what exactly are you showcasing ?

The older worker generally feels they have a lot of experience to share; their sheer years in the workforce alone is something of which they are proud, as this makes up much of their value proposition. While young workers will highlight recent education and enthusiasm to launch their careers, older workers often feel their longevity and rich employment history is their decided advantage. By removing much of one’s history from a résumé, it’s as if that rich history is being dismissed, hence the reason many find it hard to let go and drop work history beyond the previous 10 years.

The 10 years by the way is an industry guideline and not a hard and fast rule. There are times when work beyond that 10 year period is relevant to the job you’re going for now, and adding it will give you an edge, so just be aware of this. However, adding that job from 1984 on your résumé has a big down side; you may come across as a fossil; the employer imagining you’ll show up for the interview on life support and within a few moments ask about the company health benefit plan.

One major flaw that many older workers make is drawing attention at the top of their résumé to their extensive work experience. One of the first things I sometimes read goes along the lines:

Dedicated professional with 25 years’ experience in …

Employer’s read these 7 words and think, “25 years of work, they started out when they were 25, so they must be around 50 right off the bat.” Hmm…. you might as well have put your age right beside your name at the top. What you’re proud of sharing as an asset is interpreted as a liability. How frustrating then to think the 2 hours you put into crafting that résumé for a single job blew up after 7 words and 3.5 seconds of time reading!

So if the job ad requests 3-5 years’ experience and you’ve got this plus another 10 or so, don’t think you’re an obvious choice for an interview by adding that. You can’t really lie either and say you have 5 years experience when you have more, so what to do? Consider this..

“Proven experience…, Demonstrated expertise… or Mastery of … ” There’s no indication of actual years, therefore nothing to feel you have to apologize for because you didn’t misrepresent yourself. Ah, but further down the résumé, what about the real years beside each job? Surely they’ll get what they are after, (and coincidentally what you want to hide) eventually, you just delayed the inevitable reveal until they scanned the middle of your résumé.

Some résumé writers will omit dates, others will put, ‘8 years’ rather than putting ‘2000 – 2008’ etc. Some recommend no dates at all. This might not be the answer that will satisfy you as a reader attempting to learn the industry standard, but in truth, there are a number of approaches you can take on a résumé in the Experience section, and I’d have to be sitting with you and know your personal circumstances to intelligently give you my idea on how best to approach your unique situation. That’s not a cop-out, that’s recognizing that you personally have to be happy with the layout and approach we settle on, and it has to fulfill the employer’s side; call it tailoring your approach.

As for employers, they do want to know what your education is and how much experience you have doing the work they need done. Remember that saying, “Old dogs can’t learn new tricks”? This is one knock against the older worker and it’s a stereotype. You want to combat this and prove you’re not in this mold? Good, so where’s the evidence on your résumé that you’ve taken some learning recently? Haven’t got any? Take an online, night or day school course. Get that on your résumé with, ‘2018’ prominently beside it.

Now the résumé is only designed to get you to the interview recall. Once there, expand on your rich experience – the stuff you didn’t add on paper. Here’s where the details of yesterday’s piece kick in.

You can do this, and I’m in your corner.

Let’s Address This, “I’m Too Old” Business


When it comes to finding work, do you feel you’re too old? If you instinctively answered, ‘yes’, I’d have to agree with you. Why do I say this without even knowing your age? Simply put, if YOU believe it, I’ll agree with you; you’re too old.

It starts with your attitude and what you believe – for what you believe dictates not just your chronological age, but will affect your posture, how you move, act and react. It only stands to reason that others will react to you largely on how you present yourself and interact with them. No of course you can’t alter your age, but what you can control – and you have 100% control make no mistake – is how you feel. How you feel and the decisions you’ve made and continue to make as you move forward dictate how you present yourself. Oh yes, these are within your control.

It’s ironic really that many of the people I work with to find employment present their advancing years as their foremost problem. Yet when I don’t sympathize with them and agree there’s nothing that can be done to combat this age discrimination by employers, they seem disappointed. It’s like they want to me just say, “Yes, that’s a shame but it is what it is.” If that was my only response, not only would I be a poor Employment Counsellor and Coach, I might as well be saying, “Give up now. Buy some overalls and a rocking chair and pull out the harmonica!” (Not intended to offend younger people who enjoy overalls, harmonicas and time spent rocking away.)

Whether you’re in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, or 60’s, what’s really important is the attention you’ve paid to your presentation. I’m willing to bet you’ve come across people who look older than their real years. Smoking, excessive time in the sun drying the skin, weight issues, lack of proper diet and exercise; ever thought to yourself, “Wow! He’s/She’s younger than I am but they look so much older!”

Okay so you didn’t make your appearance a priority – and you probably knew it at the time too. You overindulged, did your thing, you let people think what they wanted and didn’t worry about your lifestyle. If other people had a problem with that – well it was their issue not yours. Except now, it is your issue. You won’t like it, but if you want to do something about your appearance, you will – if it’s important to you enough now. Start small sure; but make a start. Eat better, walk or exercise a bit, eat less and eat more of the good stuff. What goes in – goes on.

However, let’s assume you’re in pretty good shape and you look good. I mean you’re not going to grace any glam magazine covers, but how many of us do? First of all good for you. How’s your wardrobe? I mean do your clothes fit properly and are they today’s styles or are they throwbacks to years gone by? What you wear and how you wear it says a lot about you.

Next let’s address your movement. If you’re not a people watcher, take up the hobby as a research project. Watch people walk. Some have energy in their strides as they walk with purpose. Others saunter along, almost aimlessly; shuffling their feet and it’s hard to tell where they are going, if indeed they have any destination in mind beyond a leisurely stroll; a walkabout.

Freeze for a moment and don’t move – whether you’re sitting or standing. Now pay attention to your shoulders. Can you pull them back and pull in your stomach at the same time? If you can, you’re natural pose is hunching forward and the appearance isn’t flattering. If you want to make a good first impression, get those shoulders back, bring the stomach muscles in a bit and increase your pace a little as you walk. When you sit, don’t slouch, keep the shoulders back and avoid stooping forward. Looking bent over makes you look older.

It’s not actually about aging you know; it’s about what aging infers. Getting on in years infers you’re less flexible, less willing to try new things and learn new ways. It’s seen as slowing down, challenging yourself less, taking more time off, not caring to immerse yourself to the extent a younger person will. It’s about falling behind. It infers you’re not into technology, avoid new trends, becoming a follower instead of a trendsetter, and it’s about health concerns and thinking more about retirement than investment.

You can’t control what others think. You CAN control how you present yourself however, and how you present yourself INFLUENCES how others perceive you. Do you take pride in your appearance? Is their energy in your handshake? Are your teeth in good shape? Do you smile or instinctively wear what others would see as a frown?

Control the things within your control. If there are things beyond what you can control with respect to your appearance that’s one thing. But don’t lump things you can control in with them just so you can rationalize not doing anything to improve them. Yes, you know what I’m talking about.

Sorry if you didn’t get the sympathy you’d hoped for. Might sound harsh, but that’s not intended. Straight talk is often what’s needed. To answer your question, I’m 59. Ah but mentally, I’m a spry 38ish!

Bang Away Or Find The Right Fit


Have you ever left a job under poor circumstances and vowed to make a fresh start with another employer; one where no one knows you – only to find that things turn out pretty much the same in a short time?

Despite the change in scenery, co-workers, supervisor and job, things just haven’t changed all that much. You’re starting to wonder if every job is going to be like this? You’re questioning how all these people you work with can like going in day after day with a smile on their face? When it goes wrong in multiple places, in various kinds of jobs, the common denominator keeps coming up… well, you.

Now wait! That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ‘THE PROBLEM’. Nor does it always have to be this way.

Recall the toddler toy where there’s a bunch of wooden or plastic, brightly coloured shapes, and there’s a corresponding cut out of a shape into which the piece fits. Watch a child at place and try all they want, that red triangle won’t go into the yellow square or the blue circle hole. Eventually, the toddler figures it out and looks up with a big smile at what they’ve both achieved and learned in the process.

As you continue to watch, when all the pieces are removed again, the toy becomes a little easier to play and takes less time to solve. The child also will look around and call attention to their success by saying, “Watch me!” In so doing, they want to show off what they’ve learned and get rewarded with a, “Good for you!”

If you haven’t taken the necessary time to get to know yourself fully – and people evolve and change with the passing of time – you might not be a problem, you just haven’t found the right fit yet. Now that single block is easy to figure out; it’s shape and colour. There’s an easily recognized corresponding shape and colour slot too. Assessing your strengths, preferences, skills, experience, education, attitude, areas for improvement, learning style – these are some of the things which make you who you are. Networking, online research, investigating company culture, reading job postings, interviewing people in the jobs you find interesting, checking out the commute, the dress code, the vision, mission statement etc. of companies as well as their reputations; these make up the research which provides the information you need to assess the likelihood of a good fit.

Here’s the problem; most people assume they know themselves and don’t want to bother putting out a lot of effort in researching companies they might not even apply to. That seems like a lot of work and with very little reward; a waste of time. But what’s a greater waste of time is not bothering with these two critical steps and going through a cycle of applying, getting hired, fired, applying again, getting rejected, finally getting interviews, rejected, still applying, finally getting another interview, getting hired and quitting, or leaving under poor circumstances. It’s like that toddler just banging pieces into the wrong slots and expecting the piece to go in. It’s not the toy that’s at fault, it’s just that reasoning things out hasn’t happened yet at the child’s end. There will always be a perfect fit for each piece.

Likewise, there will always be a perfect fit for you with respect to a job and an employer. Sure you can jump from job to job and hope the fit is good, but more often than not, it will appear that way at first and soon become obvious to the company you’re not the right person for the job, or to you that the job isn’t the right fit for you.

So how much time do you have to invest just randomly moving from job to job? With each bad fit and failure, are you learning anything or just writing off bad experiences and taking nothing away you can learn next time? Be cautious! These series of failures can lead you to develop a short fuse; a bad attitude; a ‘me against the world’ attitude. The person you turn out to be could be very different from the person you were meant to be; a darker, less attractive soul who others want to be around less and less. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

When a child struggles to understand how the pieces get inside, another child or adult who has mastered the concept will take a piece and slowly slide it in the corresponding hole and not letting go, move it back and forth then drop it. The child watching may have to be shown a few times, but they’ll get it. The new learning is shortly mastered and the toy eventually becomes a, ‘Time how long it takes me to do this!” challenge; it’s easier.

This is no different from getting help figuring out the self-assessment piece of who you really are in the here and now. You can also get help learning how to do employer research too. When you know yourself fully and seek out the best fits, you actually speed up the time between where you are now and being employed where you should be. In the right situation, you’re not a problem at all; you’re a success with a big smile on your face. Soon you’ll want everyone around you to view your achievements too.